Into the mind of the Frod

My life is boring

2011-05-16T12:06:00.002-05:00

Yup, nothing interesting going on here at all. I am seriously lacking in the excitement department. lol

Nick is doing well on his medication and has been released to his normal primary care doctor. He has had a bit of an attitude lately but frankly it's fairly normal for a nearly 12 year old to act this way in my opinion. Momma just has to knock him down a few pegs is all. He was all hopped up from karate class on Thursday and thought he was all bad ass and could try and intimidate me. He only tried to seriously hit me once but managed to hit my hand and not my stomach. It ended with him running away and locking himself in the bathroom for his shower. Ehhh that sounds worse than what it really was. It wasn't like anyone was angry. He was trying to act all big and powerful. He forgets that I am double his size even if I am only about 7 inches taller than he is. He is just used to bigger kids picking on him and wanted to be dominant for once and Momma put him in his place. He don't like getting flicked in the forehead. lmao

Work has actually been full of drama lately. The guy that has been acting supervisor since last August (man I can't believe it's been that long already) is really burning out. He stresses out over the least little things and has been short tempered. He is real good friends with one of the other guys that has been working with us for the last few months but things blew up on Saturday. The friend, we shall call him CJ, can be super mouthy with supervisor guy. I think he has real trouble taking orders from his friend. After last break, SG was telling CJ that he had to re-stack a pallet because the parts could not hang over the pallet and they had to be even. CJ kept poo-pooing SG and telling him it wasn't a problem. SG finally got sick of it and told CJ to go home. CJ just calmly walked off the job. It should be noted that on Friday CJ gave notice that ht wouldn't be able to work full time any more and would be going to flex after this last weekend. So, we have no clue if he was still considered full time when he walked off which would mean he would be fired or if he was flex which means he can come and go as he pleases.

SG should be calming down after this weekend though. Our "real" supervisor is finally coming back. She has been off since like the middle of August because her two youngest sons were involved in a house explosion. They were in the hospital in Iowa City until right before Christmas and then were in rehab down in Waterloo for a couple more months. They are both doing well now but are still facing a lot of surgery on their hands to try and getting them more flexible. In order for the burns to heal their hands were bandaged up for months. When the bandages finally came off their fingers were partially webbed together and atrophied badly. They have had surgery to separate their fingers but some of them were left smaller and some left quite large. They are still in for a long road of surgery and will never be quite the same again.

Now we are just waiting to see how well SG gives up control to Red (the real boss). SG can be very controlling but he does actually do a good job of getting management to do things that Red was never successful at. Plus a lot of things have changed since Red has been off. We have a new high tech saw that Red will have to be trained on. Plus we have a lot of new paperwork. None of it is real hard but it will be all new for her and she can get set in her ways of doing things.

Ehh like I said, nothing super exciting. My health is still pretty shit. I've been super tired lately. And now I have a bit of a sinus infection I think. It's not bad enough that I'm crampy as all hell, I have to be sick on top of it. sigh And I need to dye my hair tomorrow. I dyed it last week and let's just say, I look like a Weasley cousin right now. lol It's not bright red but more of a lightish orange. I was going for dark blond. I guess the dye was too old or something. I've got another box that I know isn't that old.

OK, enough blather, I have to go get the kid from school in a minute.

Am I Wearing Pants? An Important Style Flowchart (PICTURE)

2011-05-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Am I Wearing Pants? An Important Style Flowchart (PICTURE)

I thought this was pretty dang funny when PlainSimpleGarak shared it in The Pants of all places. If you don't know about Bubbo's Pants, you really must come and find us on Ravelry. It's a very tight knit, fast paced group of crazy people that live inside Bubbo's Pants. lol

I haven't forgotten about the blog (obviously), I just haven't had anything to post about. I really didn't do much in the way of knitting this week. I usually knit during Nick's karate class. (technically Tang So Do) On Tuesday, however, we missed karate so that we could attend orientation over at the middle school. Starting next year the middle school will be 5 th through 8 th grade. I'm not liking that. The 5 th and 6 th graders will be getting only a few minutes of recess each day. Basically whatever is left of the half hour they have to eat lunch will be their only recess. Nick is probably going to go bonkers with that. I know he would have never survived this school year without having regular recesses. And the way they are running P.E. classes is weird. It runs every single day for half an hour for one semester. The other semester they don't have it at all. Nick won't have it until second semester to give him a chance to settle in before taking a class that he has so much trouble with. He gets so upset when someone breaks the rules of the game they are playing.

Anyway, on Thursday Nick did make it to karate class. I even sat down to knit but as soon as I got started, I had to stop. I was working on a BSJ out of Red Heart Baby Econo. I just could not deal with the plastic feel of the yarn. Once I'm awake and functioning today, I'm taking it off the needles and throwing it and the rest of the RKBE in the trash. It's that damn gross. I've got other much nicer yarn I can do it in and this was not even for anyone specific because it was too big to give to my cousin Cora for her newborn. I need to stash dive and see what I have in worsted weight and in blue so that I can make one for a friend of my mom. So, instead of knitting, I ended up running home because I remembered that the big item pickup was this past weekend at my folk's house. I got rid of my old office chair and my old monitor.

Like I said, not much interesting happened this past week. And now it's time to go wake up the kid and get him ready for school.

Laters

Holy hell

2011-05-01T22:05:00.002-05:00

I'm watching the CBS news and shaking and crying tears of relief. They finally got him. It's exciting but also frightening. I'm more than a little afraid of the reprisals.

I pray that all the innocents of the world will be protected in the days to come.

yawn

2011-05-01T20:47:00.002-05:00

Holy crap it felt like this weekend lasted a month. It was nice not having the boss there to micromanage me but damn if the other guys don't need someone watching them. Even with all that went down we still got a bunch of stuff done. Hopefully it will be enough to keep the boss happy.

I didn't do any crafting this weekend. I've been too damn tired. I did find a couple sets of dpns and I'll check tomorrow to see if they are the same size as I'm doing the Tomten in. I sure hope so cause I don't want to go to Hobby Lobby or Michaels any time soon.

I've also discovered that I really shouldn't drink Mt. Dew after noon or so. I was as jittery as all hell this afternoon because I drank half a bottle at 4 o'clock break. And omg what a crash when I got home. I feel dead as all hell. I only drink that crap at work when I am really fighting to stay awake. I can't stand the taste of it but it's better than falling asleep on my feet.

Time to go play with the monkey.

I think I'm loosing my mind

2011-04-28T16:53:00.000-05:00

The following was going to be posted directly to Ravelry but I figured it would be best to post it to my blog instead.

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*gah* I've got issues that I don't really talk about because they don't really show up very often. One of them is a sort of obsessive compulsive nature. I get obsessed with certain things very easily. It's one of the reasons that I never really tried drugs. Sometimes I get obsessed with an activity like reading or knitting and it's all I can think about. On a few occasions I've gotten obsessed with people. It's never really been anyone that was local or even aware of my obsession about them.

When I left my last boyfriend it got really bad. I'm talking about checking every single social media outlet that he used to see what he was up to. I NEEDED to know if he was still with the chick that he left me for. It didn't help that for months he kept calling me and feeding the obsession. It's been a while and I will still once in a while check to see what he is doing. I haven't had the urge to check up on him in a bit though so that isn't the problem.

I know I've mentioned my extremely vivid imagination and love of making up stories. I don't really write many of them down because my brain is too scattered to get a coherent story out of it. Anyway, I have an ongoing story working in my head lately. I can't sit at my computer without adding to the story and I'm finding myself obsessing over this story. I find myself looking for more information about the person the story is about and it's making me twitchy when I find out information that I didn't know. Stuff like the fact that he doesn't live where he used to. He made a major move sometime in the last few years and I find myself itching to find out more info on that. And no, I don't really know him. It's someone I ran into a very long time ago but never connected with. Part of me is obsessed about what if we had. And no I can't contact him directly and I don't want to. I have no real honest wish to know him now because I am sane enough to know he isn't the person I've made up in my head. But when I find out info on him that doesn't jibe with my idea of him it makes me twitchy.

The thing is that once I get obsessed with someone or something I have to find something else to obsess about. I have to fill my brain with something else and I just don't know what the hell to use this time. The secondary replacement obsession never lasts very long and I usually just going back to my normal every day flavor of crazy. This last one just kind of snuck up on me real quick in the last few days screaming "HEY THERE CRAZY LADY I'M GOING TO COME LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN NOW FOR A WHILE, K?"

I think the turning point in to making myself twitchy over this was when the story took a very weird twist in my brain that I just could not figure out a way to get beyond. For a couple days there I was upset and crying because the story took such a dark turn of hurt and angst and I didn't know how to get all the characters through and to the happy stuff that I wanted to happen later. I think I've gotten them past the "omg I hate you gdiaf" stage to an "ok I understand why you did that but it hurts too much to look at you" stage. But right now I just don't want to deal with the angst and stuff but my brain won't put the story away.

And I really can't even bring myself to reread what I've written here because I know it all sounds so frickin nuts. Yes, I have myself an obsession about a fantasy story I made up in my head about real people that have no clue who I am but I can't put down. There is a reason part of my nickname is psycho. :P

Oh and no I'm not looking for advice. Or really even sympathy. I know my brain is a bit messed up but I've kind of liked living the last 5 years or so without medication. The therapist and psychiatrist I saw just annoyed the fuck out of me. They couldn't separate my brain injury from my psychosis. My memory issues have nothing to do with my depression.

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OK an explaination of why I haven't posted on here in months yet again. Frankly I've just been lazy about it. Nearly everyone that I used to follow via blog has stopped blogging. I no longer feel the desperate urge to tell everyone what I'm doing. Mostly because I haven't been doing a whole lot. I did end up in the hospital in December and since then I've been so damn tired it isn't funny. Yeah I was tired before but I'm back into one of those pits of tired that just won't go away. I NEED the weather to clear up so I can go outside even for a few minutes and see the sun. I can't take all this damn rain lately.

I have been knitting lately though. One of my brothers has a baby due in June. I've made her one BSJ and a blanket that are finished. I have two more sweaters that are in the works. I kind of stalled on the little ballerina wrap because I started the blanket and then my mom wanted a sweater for my cousin's baby. I made her another plain BSJ. I have another larger one that I started but quit when I saw just how big it was going to be. That one will be finished eventually. Currently I'm working on a Tomten. I'm to the point of weaving together the hood. I made the hook larger than what the book said to because when I put it on my baby doll the hood wasn't long enough to cover the doll's head. Now I need to find my dpns so that I can start the sleeves. I really don't even know where my larger (bigger than sock) dpns have gotten to. I really need to hire merry maids to come clean my house out. lol

Guess who's back, back again

2010-12-23T14:12:00.003-06:00

And now I have Slim Shady stuck in my head. And I just realized I completely forgot what I said last time I posted, so I'mma gonna go read for a minute. OK, I'm back.

Nick is still doing really well at school. He is still participating and mostly staying out of trouble. His biggest problem is staying awake in the morning. I think it more has to do with him staying awake for 2 hours after bed time yapping at himself. I've been having him take Melatonin but it doesn't always do the trick. He did have a bit of trouble a few weeks ago but he had an excuse and I think he controlled himself pretty well. You see, I was in the hospital. It's the first time he has had to deal with a big illness and he didn't get to see me while I was in the hospital. But he explained to his teachers what was going on and really did a good job of stepping back when he got upset.

Yeah the big news that happened since the last time was me ending up in the ER and then being admitted a few days later. I missed 3 1/2 days of work. Heck, I have yet to work a full weekend since before Thanksgiving. Anyways, on the 28th I went to work in some serious pain. I couldn't do anything without wanting to cry but I couldn't afford to miss work. Well by 3pm I was in so much pain I was crying so I left. My folks didn't seem to think there was a problem and sent me home with Nick. I took some pain pills and later took a nap. When I woke up at about 7:30 with a fever of 104.8. I called the help nurse at the clinic I go to and she recommended I head to the ER. Called my folks and Dad took me in while Mom took Nick back to their place so he could get some sleep. Had a bunch of blood work done and they said massive UTI. I did one bag of fluids with antibiotics in it and was sent home at about 2:30am with a scrip for more antibiotics. I spent the next two days only moving enough to take the kid to school and bring him home. Wednesday morning I was still in so much pain I called my urologist with the intent to ask for a pass for the weekend because it was my kidney stones causing the UTI and back pain.

Well the doc starts looking at my chart and discovers that the ER had tried to call me the day before to recommend I be admitted for a day due to bacteria growing in my blood! Doc ordered me to the hospital asap. I had originally intended to just call my mom to let her know I was heading to the hospital but I broke down and freaked. The last time I was in the hospital was when I had Nick and that was 1999. Mom ended up taking me in and I spent the next 3 days on IV antibiotics. I had two surgeries done. First was to insert two stents to help the kidney stones gtfo of there so they would stop blocking things up and causing the UTI and pain. That was on Wednesday within like 2 hours of being admitted. On Friday I had one of the stents removed and the doc used a laser to blast the hell out of my stones. I finally got to go home that night but I still didn't get to see Nick until Saturday afternoon. He spent the next week hugging me and telling me he loved me. :) He missed his momma. I had the other stent removed in the office about 10 days after I got out of the hospital. Not a real comfortable procedure. I recommend being knocked out for it if your insurance will cover it.

Well, since this whole mess I have been one tired chick. OK, so I am normally pretty tired but I've been really tired since I got out. I'm no longer peeing blood and no longer feeling any stone pain, which is good. What sucks is that the snow and cold showed up while I was in the hospital. And of course my snowblower doesn't want to work. The belt that runs the blades slips and only works when it wants to. So I've been having to shovel the drive myself. Most of the time I feel like I just went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. It feels like the palms of my hands are bruised but there is nothing there.

And, of course, the neighbors are still refusing to shovel at all. I ended up yelling and, regrettably, swearing at one of her kids for climbing on one of the piles of snow next to my drive and tossing snow all over the place. The snow in the driveway has been the only thing I've been able to control lately and here was the kid of someone making that more difficult just destroying my drive again. I was livid. I've been stewing about the whole driveway ordeal and I just exploded. I don't even remember what I said to the kids. It was either "shit" or "damn" but I was so mad I don't remember what I said. It makes me feel about half an inch tall thinking about it. I know there is no excuse but I've been having my ass kicked by the snow. I'm constantly in large amounts of pain from shoveling and they twit next door just plows right through the snow and refuses to shovel. Hell when they can, they drive through the end of my side of the drive and onto their side because they are too lazy to shovel where the plow has buried the end of the drive. She has lived there at least 4 years and I've only seen her shovel 3 times. This is Iowa. It's not unusual to have to shovel 3 times in one DAY when it's snowing bad unless you want to wait and have it take you 2 hours to shovel the drive when it stops. sigh I know I need to let it go but it's hard to keep my side clear when her side is full of snow and she doesn't give a crap if the snow ends up on my side when she drives across it.

But in good news, I did finish the shawl I started last month. It's quite small and I really want to a larger one in thicker yarn at some point. I'll be using beads instead of doing nups though. I hate nups. And what is cool is that I used yarn that my friend Summer sent me for the little shawl and Summer sent me some of her handspun as a pick-me-up gift and I'm knitting a scarf from it. It's the Moon River Scarf available free on Rav. I deleted 2 repeats of the pattern on the scarf because it was getting too wide. It's a very easy pattern and I'm loving my first chance at knitting with handspun.

I've got all the Christmas shopping done thanks mostly to our annual Christmas bonus card for Wal-Mart. I ended up overdrawn on my checking account though thanks to a huge ass heating bill. I got used to maybe a $70 bill but the last one was $189 and it wiped out my checking account just as my internet and phone bills came in. Thankfully my check was deposited the next day so I'm back in the black. I'm going to have to try and work some overtime after the new year to make up the $75 in overdraft charges though. Oh and yes, I called the gas company and I'm now on an even payment plan. I think it's something like $52 a month. Much, much better. I'm already on even pay for my light bill because of a huge unexpected bill when it was so hot this summer. And in other shitty financial news, I got picked up the Monday after I got out of the hospital for expired tags. Had to borrow money from my folks to pay for new tags but I still have to pay the fine yet. I want to talk to the judge and hopefully only pay court costs but the weather has been so bad I haven't been able to get into town for traffic court. I really hate this time of year. Really and truly hate it.

I'm depressing myself here so I'll quit. Suffice it to say I will be doing my taxes the moment I get my W-2 from work. I need to go cash in the scratch off winner that my supervisor gave me ($1) and get me a lottery ticket. My luck has got to change sooner or later.

hmmmm

2010-11-16T08:54:00.002-06:00

Not going to try and explain. I have no good excuse.

Finally got the monkey diagnosed with mild PDD and mild ADD. He has been on medication since school started. He stopped throwing things and throwing tantrums but was still screaming at his teachers regularly. We added on another medicine and holy crap! I have a happy kid again. One that actually likes school and can play dodge ball without having a meltdown. He is still having some issues but he is finally getting good marks on his behavior.

And the biggest change lately? I'm actually knitting a lace shawl! I'm knitting the Knitty pattern Annis in some lovely green lace yarn that my friend Summer sent me ages ago. It's been ages since I've felt the pull of the yarn and I like it.

I added a little widget over there ---->

It links to all the things that I liked on google reader. I had to make the switch over to google reader after bloglines shut down. I like reader so much better. It's much easier to load on dial-up because you only open one post at a time and not every single new and saved post from a feed. I have a tendency to get a bit behind on some of the busier feeds. big shocker :P

OK, time to go get monkey moving a bit. We had a 2 hour delay due to fog this morning and the boy needs to get dressed and eat something.

Another update!

2010-05-24T09:21:00.003-05:00

see more dog and puppy pictures

Bet you thought I would forget about the blog for another few months again. heh Nope I have been wanting to post but I got busy.

Managed to survive my birthday without too much trouble. My middle brother forgot all about it of course. Yes, that is the one I was raised with. I ran into the older brother and, big shocker, he actually talked to me. Hadn't seen him since baby brother's wedding and he only spoke to me for like 30 seconds then. He didn't realize it was my birthday but it was still nice to chat with him. Baby brother had his little girl call me during dinner. It was really cute but it got my mom upset. It really bugged her that baby brother remembered my birthday but middle brother didn't. She raised me and middle brother together as the others are my bio dad's kids from his other marriages and we didn't know each other growing up.

Anyways, Mom and Dad took me and the monkey out to dinner at a local pub. They have awesome cod and I fully intend to go have lunch there real soon. Monkey, of course, wouldn't eat a damn thing. I still haven't figured out how to convince the child that not all food has to taste ZOMG delicious to be edible. Not that the stuff he likes to eat is all that delicious. McDonald's hamburgers anyone? lol After dinner we went for DQ. Monkey actually liked that part. lol

see more dog and puppy pictures

Lots of things have been going on with Monkey. He has been going to see a social worker since the beginning of the year. I'm not totally sure it is helping HIM a whole lot but it has helped me realize that I'm not nuts. 0.o Ok, I'm not delusional about him. Better? :P Anyway, we are working to get him evaluated again. Between the social worker and the new sociologist at school, they really believe that Monkey may have a mild case of ADD and some amount of Autism. The whole wrestling match about food may actually be hard wired into his brain by Autism. While it would be nice to know he isn't just being difficult about it, it would be hard to know it isn't going to get much better. So we are working on getting that moving. I've put in an application to have him go to a summer camp for kids with Autism that helps teach the kids how to deal with social situations. I'm hoping that this will help him finally get why some of the things he does are so rude.

Also I'm going to call and get the booger's eyes checked. Come to find out that sitting at a normal distance his school papers are blurry to him. He has never mentioned this before. If I had any clue he was having trouble seeing I would have gotten his eyes checked ages ago. He always passed the screenings at the pediatrician so I thought he was fine. I am fine with him getting glasses and I think he looks cute in them so no "mommy worries" there. lol I just hope this will help him participate in class more. Maybe those times he had such trouble with tests was because he couldn't see the darn test. sheesh

see more dog and puppy pictures

I am still really not doing any crafts lately. I did knit a few rows on the sleeves of the never ending sweater of doom. I think I'm about halfway through the upper arms. heh I haven't been painting either. I got stuck on Draco's hair and I just don't see how I can paint it using a mouse. I can't bring myself to spend the money on a tablet right now though. I've been really a lot of fanfiction still. I think I'll always be addicted to it. Much cheaper than buying paperback books all the time. lol

see more dog and puppy pictures

see more dog and puppy pictures

I'm still rocking my Sansa mp3 player at work. We had a new guy start last fall and he dominates the radios. I swear he hates anything recorded less than 20 years ago. Dude is a pain but he has been less annoying lately. I think it's because he is thinking of moving to Florida. lol I have such an eclectic mix of music on my player that it is almost scary. I just put a ton of Eminem on there and some Lil' Wayne. Some of their shit just makes me laugh my head off. You have to find the song Kids by Eminem. I damn near pissed laughing. I'm sure eventually I will delete a good portion of it off there but I like to give new stuff a bit of a chance before I hit delete on it.

I've also recently added Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert to the mix. :D There were a few LG songs that got the boot right away. Poker Face and Disco Stick just could not be allowed to live on my playlist. lol The first time I listened to Lambert's disc, I have to admit, I didn't like it. He is just so over dramatic and over the top. But like I said, I like to give things a few listens to before I give up on it. And now I really like quite a few of his songs. They are both good singers to listen to when I'm getting tired. They both get me bouncing.

Never fear, I haven't given up on the rock music. I've got Static-X's entire library loaded into my playlist. Brainfart is by far my favorite of their stuff. I really do love me some good drums. I have loaded on my entire library of NIN too. I never realized before just how much silence is in some of their songs. I thankfully can fast forward within a song to get past the quiet feedback that starts out some of the songs.

see more dog and puppy pictures

OK, enough blather for now. I've got phone calls to make and I need to get ready to go help Dad out. He is getting a dish installed today and he is afraid he won't be able to figure out how to use the DVR. Dude could barely understand a VCR. lol

Oh yeah.. um hi

2010-05-03T11:45:00.002-05:00

As you may have noticed, my old template is gone. The images were hosted on my website. I can't see the point of paying for the website when I don't make tags any more. I may change my mind but for now tagsbyfrod.com is no more. It also means that most of the pictures in my old posts are gone now. Ooops! Oh well.

I'm not going to offer excuses for why I haven't been blogging. Suffice it to say, I had nothing to say of any importance. Yeah like I've ever been that deep anyway. :P

I'll try and customize this template sooner or later. If you can't wait for me to post and need to know what I'm up to, look for me on Ravelry. I'll be in the pants.

rivalry

2010-05-03T11:29:00.001-05:00

I'm always noticing posts on Rav and on yahoo groups where people complain about how their parents favor their siblings over them. In a weird way I'm on both sides of this whole thing.

In the family that I grew up in with my mom and her husband that adopted me, I'm clearly the favored child. I often wonder if my brother complains about me to his wife. The thing is that as soon as my brother got back from basic training for the guard he moved over an hour away. He rarely comes to visit my folks. He can go 2 or 3 months with no visit or even a call. Because of my parents babysitting on the weekends (which I pay nominally for) I see my parents 4 days a week. Even before this job I went to my parents house every weekend for at least a couple hours. And even before I had my son I at least called my mom once or twice a week. It's no wonder my folks are willing to do things for me or buy me stuff. I'm the one that is there. They resent the fact that my brother finds it so hard to call or come home for visits. An hour drive isn't much but he can't just come home for a few hours on Saturday. It has to be a big thing and then he spends most of the time he is in the area at his in-laws house. I know he has complained to my folks about them buying me things but he forgets that I don't have much compared to him. I'm a single mom getting no support from my son's father. I've got an ok paying job now but there was a long time when I couldn't find anything that paid well. He and his wife both have good paying jobs and his wife does photography on the side. They also own a house. I live in a very tiny rented duplex that I can only afford because my rent is determined by my income. And did I mention I'm the one with a kid? My parents only grandchild in common? My dad has no contact with my step-brother's kids.

On the other side, I'm the kid that is totally ignored by my biodad's family. I'm the oldest child and my son is the oldest grandchild. Biodad completely ignores me and so do my stepmom, my brother and sister. I work for the same company as my youngest brother so he and I do talk on occasion. Biodad gave up custody of me when I was 5 because he refused to pay child support or make any effort to see me. He paid child support for the son he had with his second wife and always had visitation with him. This is the brother that didn't bother to invite me to his wedding or tell me when he had kids. For some reason he hates me when I have every right to resent him. I've only spoken to biodad 2 or 3 times in the last 8 years because I found out that he let my youngest brother's then gf move in their house when not a year earlier they told me they didn't have room for me to move in. He could do for her but not for me. When I went to my youngest brother's wedding last fall, they had family pictures taken without me or my son in them. Did I mention that they all live less than a half hour away from me? And that I've had the same phone number and address for the last 10 years?

So I'm stuck on both sides of this issue. I feel bad for my one brother to an extent but he is the one that distanced himself from our parents. And I resent my other family for completely ignoring that I exist. And people wonder why I put up with my dad being a total ass all the time. Ass that he is, he is still there. Always. And now I'm depressing myself. lol

Peek-a-boo

2009-09-24T09:20:00.002-05:00

Bet y'all thought I had died huh? Nope, just hibernating. I won't try to make excuses for my lack of posting. Guess my job has just been kicking my ass. I've barely knit a thing in the last year. I'm working on finishing a silly blanket for myself. I started it months ago to use as a summer throw. Yeah that worked well. heh

So, what have I been up to? I've been firmly sucked into Ravelry. I have to admit I haven't been as verbose on there lately though. For a while there I was on Twitter a lot playing 140mafia. I've pretty much stopped playing that game. It got kind of boring when I had a couple people constantly keeping me dead just for shits and giggles. I check my Twitter feeds every few days but not obsessively.

I've also been sucked into DeviantART. Oh how I love that place. I haven't been posting there though or doing any art. I had to build a new pc and I still don't have all my things within easy reach to do any art. Not that my art is very good to begin with.

My biggest time suck is Facebook lately. There are a few games on there that I really like to play. I've met a few interesting people through the games. I shall not be linking my FB to the blog though. Made the error of allowing my mom to friend me. heh She does not get to see the blog. :P

My folks just recently gifted us with a dish after being without for about 7 years or so. Unfortunately, I can't watch it in my room which is where my pc is. Which is why I'm back to knitting. lol I can not sit and watch tv without doing something else.

I'm still dealing with my health issues. It seems like I've always got a cold lately. I'm continuously injuring myself at work. Nothing super major but I've got lots of new scars on my arms and legs. It's just enough to keep me sore and not up to doing much of anything.

The kid is still trying to drive me crazy. We have been dealing with some outbursts at school the last two weeks. I'm not sure if it has to do with his recent stomach troubles or not. He just started on some meds to try and fix the tummy troubles. Hopefully his mood will improve too. He did finally learn how to ride his bike this summer. Of course now his bike is a bit too small for him. heh He will probably be inheriting his papa's bike next summer.

Well, my lovelies, I'm going to go and watch some GhostHunters and knit on my blankie. I swears I'll be back again soon. Nothing really to show you pictures of yet, but maybe soon.

Welcome to the complaint blog

2009-03-09T22:15:00.001-06:00

sigh

I complain way too much. It's much easier to find things that annoy me though. Like the freaking error message that just popped up AGAIN!! My isp software is somehow corrupted. I have uninstalled it and reinstalled it more times than I can count. I've even uninstalled some other programs that I have installed in the last couple weeks.

Basically the photo compression software keeps shutting down. I can not surf the web unless it is running. The isp software will not let me do anything unless the compression software is running. So ever two minutes or so, when it is acting up, I have to disconnect from the internet and reconnect. Then I have to quickly advance pages before the damn error code pops up again.

It's driving me up the wall!!!!

So, I'll be scarce for a bit. Yeah, I know I disappear all the time, but this time I'm giving y'all warning. :P As soon as I can get all my files moved off onto one of my other hard drives, I'm going to reformat. I swear this time I will NOT install every damn game in the world that looks halfway interesting. hehe

If reformatting doesn't work, I'm going to have to switch my isp. this is a bit freaky for me because I've used this one for a long time. It does mean that I'll be looking into getting wireless high speed internet. It is going to cost more than twice as much as i"m paying now. But it will hopefully be light years faster. But seeing as I connect at 28.2k, how could it not be? lol But it's going to be at least a week or two before I can switch over and only if they don't charge me an arm and a leg for hardware. If that happens, I'll have to go back to msn or aol. barf Cross yer fingers for me.

oi!!

2009-03-03T14:09:00.004-06:00

I'm finally over my cold!!! Yeah me!!

But I've had a backache for a week and a half. I finally went to see a doctor yesterday. She says it is a strained muscle and gave me lots of wonderful drugs to take. mmmmmmmmm drugs I go back to see her next Monday if I'm not back to 100%. The drugs are helping but I'm still sore as hell.

I broke down and bought a Wii yesterday along with the newest Raving Rabbids game. I justified it as a weight loss tool for me and a reward to hold over the kid's head. So long as he behaves at school he gets an hour of play before homework. Then when homework is done and helping around the house he gets to play again. Might be a good way to get him to eat too. heh And anything that gets my butt up and moving is a good thing. I'm having fun boxing and playing tennis. The Raving Rabbids game has some dancing and music games and they really get you moving. I'll be taking it slow because the doc told me that she has been seeing a lot of people playing on the Wii and coming in with back problems. heh

dohh it posted on me before I was done!!

I've been working on some art stuff over on deviantART. I'm almost done with my portrait of Alan Rickman. I just have to figure out how to do his hair. Most of the brushes I've downloaded won't work in my versions of PSP and Photoshop. sigh Anyways, I'll be uploading a progress picture in a few mins.

LOLCATS

2009-02-19T16:20:00.005-06:00

Ok, so I've been real sick the last 2 weeks. I was really starting to think I had pneumonia for a minute. But I'm feeling better. I even actually knit today. *faints* hehe I've spent the last 2 weeks sleeping as much as possible and surfing on DA, so I don't have much of anything to say. So, I'll distract you with cute kitties.

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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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Not a kitty!!!

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I have lots more but I don't want to overwhelmed ya. Or run out of material. lol Btw, I've uploaded some new stuff on deviantart if you want to check it out.

Laters! *waves*

goggies!!!!

2009-01-26T09:33:00.003-06:00

Been meaning to post these for awhile. Enjoy :)

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Ok, that is enough for right now. I lost count on how many that is. hehe

wheeeeeeeee

2009-01-20T09:31:00.002-06:00

Yarn Knitting by ~IllusionEvenstar on deviant ART

ehehehehe Finally combining my two loves. hehe Now if only Snape was in there too. He would probably be lurking in the shadows with a pair of scissors. lmao

I'm an artist!!

2009-01-15T14:36:00.003-06:00

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah ok, I suck. But here are my latest drawings I added to deviantArt.

Harry Potter sketch by *Froddopsycho on deviant ART

sketch by *Froddopsycho on deviant ART

colored sketch by *Froddopsycho on deviant ART

I do not claim to be any good at this. But I guess it takes lots and lots of practice to get good at it. I have a long, long, long way to go.

ummmm

2009-01-14T20:40:00.002-06:00

I swear to Bob I had something to post earlier. It was really funny. But I lost it. heh I think the cold has ruined my brain. It's not supposed to get over 0 degrees again until after Friday. Yeahhh!!! 0_o

Little did I know that the kid had an in-service day today. I got up on time only to see that school was cancelled. Then the notification came that it was the in-service day that was cancelled due to the extreme cold. So not even the teachers could make it to school.

So let's see. Monday they got out 2 hours early due to snow. Tuesday they had a 2 hour delay due to the same snow. No school Wednesday due to a cancelled in-service day. Oh and tomorrow there is a 2 hour delay due to extreme cold. Final decision on if they have school will be announce at 6am. *grrr* The child is drivin me nuts with all this togetherness. He comes in here every 5 minutes or so and hugs me for no reason. He won't do anything with me, but he will come in and interrupt me. *sigh*

Today I've been playing over at TekTek.org. I made a bunch of avatars to use over on Ravelry. I think I might upload one here for my avatar cause my hair so does not look like my picture any more. I colored it yesterday and it is actually sort of strawberry blonde even though I was aiming for dark ash blonde. lol All those years trying for red hair and I get it the one time I wasn't trying for it. hehe

I've also been scouring around on deviantArt. I've got lots of Harry Potter art and other stuff in my favorites there. I tell ya, I love that place. You can find art of just about any subject you might find interesting. You do have to join in order to see the naughty stuff though. Otherwise it just shows the dA logo in it's place. I'm thinking about buying a subscription too. It will make browsing so much easier and it isn't all that horribly expensive.

Still no real knitting going on here. I have been playing with my grey thread and some size 4 needles. It may end up developing into a shawl but it will take forever and a damn day to knit it because when I say thread, I mean thread. It's easy, easy to break this stuff. I think it was meant for weaving. I got it real cheap off of ebay a long time ago.

Ok, I'm gonna go watch me some Alan in Quigley Down Under. mmmmm Alan!!!!

crap! a new year??

2009-01-05T10:07:00.005-06:00

I swear life is just whizzing right by. This last year went by way too fast. I don't feel like I got much done last year at all.

This year has started off a bit bumpy. I've been a bit under the weather. I was completely accident prone this weekend at work. Nearly got creamed by a very large, very heavy pipe that thankfully missed me. I dropped another very heavy pipe on my left foot. It was stiff for a day but isn't even bruised. My right foot, however, is very sore. wtf? I didn't do anything to it but I can barely walk. Oh and my boss nearly dropped some pipe on me yesterday. heh I gave her tons of shit for that one.

I really wanted to work on getting the house cleaned up today but that is gonna be hard with my foot acting up. I should be working on trying to get the driveway cleared of ice but again I can't walk hardly. I did spread some more salt and it is really sunny out so hopefully the ice will break up. I think I'm just going to let myself be lazy today. Not that that is all that unusual for me on a Monday. Or any day for that matter. :P I actually kind of need a nap. No chicken and fries so early in the day anymore.

I've got a couple fanfictions going. I really need to work on the Draco story as it is about 1/3 of the way finished. The Stacia story is kind of stalled because I haven't worked on it in almost 2 months thanks to the computer being an ass. I actually have it working again fairly well. I can run all my hard drives and my dvd drives are working. Ok so I haven't tried to burn a dvd yet but my pc can actually see it now. I need to make up a list of all the works-in-progress that I'm reading. I prefer the ones on fanfiction.net as you can get email notifications when they are updated. I can't find anything like that on adultfanfiction. I so need to get organized. heh

I'm really having a blast over on deviantART.com. I've been browsing at work and saving favorites to go back later and check out the rest of the artists work. The site loads a bit slow for me because of my connection. At work I'm like a kid in a candy store though. :) If you are a fan of Alan Rickman, like I am, you should check out Jacksl and Cyntilla. They both have some great images of him in their galleries. Most of the art in my collections is Harry Potter or Alan Rickman related. I'm a bit obsessed. heh

Ok, I'm gonna go get some pain pills and get a little nap. I'll try and get some work done laters.

bahahahaha

2008-12-31T00:28:00.002-06:00

bahahahahahahaha

HP: Lucius is Popular by *Lingonlips on deviant ART

You have got to click through and see this one full sized. I love it!!!

prattle

2008-12-29T20:46:00.002-06:00

Every once in awhile I look at my stats and giggle like mad over the searches that lead people to my blog. Thought I would share a few with you.

enjoy janet jackson --- ok yeah I do sometimes
what makes frod sogood --- I just am baby!!
how much does frod earn --- no where near enough damn it!!
zipper on his mouth --- oh how I would love to do that to the kid sometimes lol
frod vs volcano --- hmmm dunno if I would win or not
haunted houses around cascade iowa --- wish there were a few, it would be fun :P
paula abdul forever your girl 12 inch blogspot --- I'm not Paula but I would be forever your girl if you gave me 12 inches hehehe Might even blog about it :P
frod designer pants --- hmmm I'm in the pants but I haven't designed any
i hate iowa --- on winter days, yes I do
poison, skid row blogspot.com --- you want to poison someone on skid row?? ohhh the bands, yeah not too shabby but I prefer Disturbed and Korn
frod steeling money --- hmmm how do you steel money? I don't steal it either
if you didn’t get to say goodbye --- *sigh* this one led to a very painful post I made, I'm in a much better place than I was on that day
frod guts.com --- ummm why you wanna see my guts?? lol
xxx pictures --- ooo I got some of those but I ain't sharing :P
the art of frod e book --- hmmmm don't think I'm good enough yet for that
frod said no not gonna happen --- I've said that often but usually give in after a few beers :P
green card frod --- I don't need no stinkin green card. I was born here silly

And now for something completely different.

Snape Christmas Greeting by ~calumfan on deviant ART

I've become addicted to deviantART. :) So many yummy drawings of Snape on there. hehe drool

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T13:37:00.001-06:00

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Don't worry. All is fine here in Froddyland. I just thought he was cute. heh

thunk thunk thunk

2008-12-17T17:43:00.002-06:00

I do not get it. I have a pretty good job. I don't make big bucks but this is one of the highest paying jobs I've ever had. I'm even getting child support fairly often.

And I'm constantly broke.

For the second time since this summer I've managed to overdraft my checking account. whimper

I just don't get it. I haven't bought yarn since early this year. I haven't bought myself new clothes since the beginning of summer and only because i wrecked my only pair of jeans that fit.

I just wish my boss at my second job actually needed my help. She hired two new full time people so she really doesn't need me to fill in at all. I only worked 5 hours during the 6 weeks my mom was off for her knee surgery. I had so hoped that I would get at least one or two days a week.

I have an idea of how to make some extra money. I'm just not sure I will succeed at it. And I can't start until after Christmas. I'm not sure I have the stick to it energy to do this either. I'm such a wimp sometimes.

I could so go for a drink right now. But of course I don't have any booze in the house. And no money to buy anything. sigh

Oh Hai!

2008-12-10T10:33:00.002-06:00

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Isn't that just beautiful?? I wish I knew who the photographer was. So, so pretty. :)

Well, it's an icy wonderland here in Iowa. The kid didn't have school yesterday because of ice and snow. And of course today is a 3 hour early dismissal for in service. Bleck! Mr. Deedle goes for his flu shot tomorrow and he is freaked. He hates shots. He heard me on the phone making the arrangements and when I got off the phone he broke down in tears. He kept telling me that he didn't want a flu shot and he didn't need one. Well, he does need one because of his asthma. His doctor was going to fast track him through the system if the nurse's office wouldn't get him in fast enough. Now maybe his papa will shush.

Dad and I are thankfully getting along ok right now. Things blew up last week and he seems to get the idea that he has been a total dick lately. I swear the man needs to get back to work. Maybe after his new meds take effect he will get off his butt and do something. He was just diagnosed with sleep apnea and COPD. They are getting him a CPAP machine and he is on meds for the COPD. If he feels better, maybe he will stop being such a dipshit.

I'm not doing any holiday knitting. I don't want the pressure this year. There is plenty enough just trying to get the money together to buy the kid something. *sigh* My fingers are crossed that my Christmas bonus will come through like last year. I've got money on my child support card but of course they reissued it and I STILL haven't gotten the damn new card so I can't touch it. *grrrrr* If it isn't here by Monday, I'm calling for a new one.

Ok, time for a shower so my hair will be dry when I go get the kid. Oh first, I found another great Harry Potter story. A Year Like None Other It's very long but is a really good story. No lemons in this one. Just lots of family agnst.

Mornin'

2008-12-01T07:59:00.003-06:00

Ugghhh what a weekend. I think our weekend shift is cursed. CURSED I SAY!!!! Last weekend my bosslady cut her finger really bad. It wasn't until the next morning that we were able to convince her to go and get stitches. She got quite a few. :( I didn't work on Friday but Saturday morning one of the guys, lets call him Chuckles, came complaining to bosslady that he couldn't move his back. Off to the ER with him. Chuckles gets 2 days off work and some very nummy drugs. Turns out he sprained his back folding something up on Friday.

And not a half hour into work yesterday I sliced the shit out of my left forearm. I was putting pipe into a rack and smacked my arm good on a piece of metal banding. Bosslady freaked out when I came waltzing back towards the command center holding my arm and yelling for help with a bandage. lol She was very tempted to send me to the ER to get checked out. *sigh* I told her to just bandage it and we would see. I swear the darn thing barely bled at all and I took tylenol right away so it didn't hurt until nearly 10 hours later when I changed the bandage. We put so much ointment on it the first time that it soaked the bandage. I didn't put anything on it the second time and I think the burning was just the wound drying out and getting ready to scab. It's not bad today but I'll have a nice little scar there. As if that would be my first. HA

Well, it finally has happened. We has snow. :( I hates the snow. Really it's just that I hate having to drive in it in the dark. I have to drive about 16 miles or so between work and home each way in the dark and it can be real hard to see where the road is when it is snowing out because I'm driving in the country. It would be much easier if there were more houses and such along the highway or if it were straighter but alas it IS the country. lol The other part I hate is that the street I live on is one of the very last to be plowed in my little town. Last year I had to miss a day of work because they didn't bother to plow our street until after 1pm. Not good when you have to be to work at 6am. *sigh*

In better news, I finished reading that fanfic very very late last night. hehe I told you I wouldn't be in bed early Sue. :P It's called Chocolate Enchantment and is a really great AU story. Snape is really out of character but I think it works because it is really the first time in his life that someone cares for him and depends on him as a person and not just as a spy. There are tons of stories on that site and is a treasure trove for Hermione fans. Unfortunately, I'm a Snape fan more than a Hermione fan and that is not my preferred pairing for him. HE IS MINE DAMN IT!!!!!! hehe

Ok, I has stuffs to do. Like finally sleep. lmao Chow baby!!

gobble gobble

2008-11-28T16:03:00.003-06:00

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I am so full of turkey and stuffing I just want to sleep!!

I've noticed quite a few visitors to the blog so I figured I better stop in and update. :)

Things have been fairly good with the kid and me. Finances are pretty tight and I haven't even begun to shop for Christmas. *sigh* Dad has given me the month of December free of charge so that should help.

Other family things have been a bit strained. Little sister Kelly (ok all of my sisters would be younger than me lol but Kelly is the youngest of all of us) ran her car into the back of a feed truck last Friday. She messed up her right side real good. 4 1/2 hours of surgery that night to put her elbow and arm back to rights and then more surgery Sunday to put her ankle to rights. She also broke several ribs and bruised her lung pretty good. She is home now with her folks and her mom is taking good care of her.

Sunday, little brother Nick (once again all my brothers are younger (yeah I'm the oldest) but he is the youngest of the boys) got word that one of his buddies was in a car accident. He unfortunately wasn't as lucky as our sister and didn't make it. Nick is quite upset because he has had a lot of people killed or hurt severely in car accidents. Present company included. But his is dealing and we have made tentative plans for him to come visit me next week. I WILL be taking pictures of my cute as a button niece. I got to talk to her on the phone last night and OMG the cuteness nearly did me in. He is gonna be lucky to get her back out the door. hehe

I'm knitting again a little bit. I've got 2 cowls going. My own patterns. I have no real clue what the yarn is I'm using on the one. Is a bulky weight boucle in baby pink. The other is in two shades of pink in some Caron yarns. I don't have em in front of me so I dunno for sure which but prolly Simply Soft. I'm also knitting a 2x2 rib scarf in Lion Brand Thick & Quick in black for the kid. It will match his new coat well. My hands haven't been cooperating for much knitting.

Ok, to share a little nummy with you. If you like hot guys and don't mind if they do too, lol, there is a blog here on blogger that might trip your trigger. I won't link to it but you should be able to search for it easily enough. It's called the daily slab. Be forward that there are many XXX pictures on there on a regular basis and I have yet to see a woman on there. Just saying. heh I would say the guys are dressed about half the time though.

Ok, now I need to get back to my story. It's called Chocolate Enchantment by Vivian B. and can be found on GrangerEnchanted.com. It's a little steamy but alas not as lemony as I like. hehe

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On health and stuff

2008-11-17T21:06:00.002-06:00

Yeah, I've been absent a bit again. I've been sick for about 2 1/2 weeks. Started out with a normal cold. Then it went into weird bouts of fever and runny nose. Now, I think I've got a sinus infection. I woke up this morning and my upper lip was swollen like crazy but it went down after about an hour or so. Mom came over today and she brought me a neti pot. Talk about a weird sensation. heh My nose has been real clear since I used it but it didn't really help with the pain much. Not that I expected it to.

I've also been gone because my pc was down for a few weeks. I do believe that the power cords inside are messed up. I got it running again but I accidentally touched the wires attached to my hard drive and it restarted on me. My bro is out on the road for work, so it is going to be a while before I can get him to look at it. It is running though.

I've been stuck in Ravelry a lot lately and in the dozen or so fanfictions that I'm reading. heh I just love to read but it doesn't make for very interesting things to share. Not much in the way of knitting has been going on either. It all kind of stopped when the pc went poof on me. All of my patterns are on my second hard drive and I didn't have access to it. I got a usb to ide cable adapter so I can hook up extra hard drives to the usb port on any computer I'm using. It's way cool but it makes me nervous that the hard drive will overheat.

Oh well, I need to get myself ready for sleep here soon. I'll try not to ignore y'all from now one. :)

kinky!!

2008-11-05T19:44:00.002-06:00

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Looks like fun to me but I don't think the kitty is enjoying it much. hehe

I has a cold and I'm not getting much done around here. Hopefully I'll feel better before the weekend or my workmates are going to suffer cause man do I whine when I'm sick. hehe

No cheeseburger for you!!

2008-11-05T10:31:00.002-06:00

No cheeseburger for you!!

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I would so have a hard time not being mean to this poor cat if he were mine. It was bad enough when one of our dogs chewed on my favorite purse and killed the strap.

Divide

2008-10-22T20:19:00.002-05:00

Divide

by Disturbed

Go!

I want to tear a big hole in what is to be,
To end all this infatuation with unity,
I'm checking my salvation alone again,
I never needed to be one of you anyway
Don't wanna be another player losing in this game
I'm trying to impress upon you
We're not the same
My own individuality is so unique,
I'm one impressive motherfucker
Now, wouldn't you say

(Break apart and)

Divide Divide Divide Divide
You might say that I'm the last man standing now,
Though you'll try, you'll never find a way to break me
You might say that I'm sick of being lost in the crowd,
I hear the sirens but they're never gonna take me

I am a little more provocative then you might need,
It's your shock and then your horror on which I feed
So can you tell me what exactly does freedom mean,
If I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be
Don't wanna be another player losing in this game
I'm trying to impress upon you
We're not the same
My psychotic mentality is so unique
I'm one aggressive motherfucker
Now, wouldn't you say

(Break apart and)

Divide Divide Divide Divide
You might say that I'm the last man standing now,
Though you'll try, you'll never find a way to break me
You might say that I'm sick of being lost in the crowd,
I hear the sirens but they're never gonna take me

(They won't take me)

Well fuck it all!

Break Break Break Break
(Break apart and divide)
Break Break Break Break
(Break apart and divide)
Break Break Break Break
(Break apart and divide)
Break Break Break Break
(Break apart and...)

Divide Divide Divide Divide
Divide Divide, break apart and divide

Divide Divide Divide Divide
Divide Divide, break apart and

Divide Divide Divide Divide
Divide Divide, break apart and divide

Divide Divide Divide Divide
Divide Divide Divide Divide

I love this song. It's off Indestructible which is an awesome CD. My favorite part is: I am a little more provocative then you might need, It's your shock and then your horror on which I feed So can you tell me what exactly does freedom mean, If I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be That is so how I used to be before the brat

yeah

2008-10-01T20:12:00.003-05:00

So yeah I've been lost in my world of fanfiction again. Still. I just love Snape. I've found quite a few sexy Snape stories lately and sigh, I just can't help myself.

I've been doing only a little bit of knitting. My health hasn't been the greatest lately. I just haven't felt much of an urge.

I added a couple widgets on the left <~~~. Now y'all can IM me when I'm online even if you don't have Yahoo Messenger.

Ok, I'm off to get the boogerchild into bed. Then off to finish the latest story. :)

meme time

2008-09-11T10:53:00.004-05:00

Stole this one from Colleen. I"m a little dissapointed that they didn't include some country in the list. There were quite a few songs of that time that I liked. I have to admit to giggling at Colleen's list and being amazed at how many songs she hates that I absolutely love. hehe

The rules:
A.) Go to Music Outfitters
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year
C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about)

1. Hold On, Wilson Phillips
2. It Must Have Been Love, Roxette
3. Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinead O'Connor
4. Poison, Bell Biv Devoe
5. Vogue, Madonna
6. Vision Of Love, Mariah Carey
7. Another Day In Paradise, Phil Collins
8. Hold On, En Vogue
9. Cradle Of Love, Billy Idol
10. Blaze Of Glory, Jon Bon Jovi
11. Do Me!, Bell Biv Devoe
12. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You, Michael Bolton
13. Pump Up The Jam, Technotronic
14. Opposites Attract, Paula Abdul
15. Escapade, Janet Jackson
16. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You, Heart
17. Close To You, Maxi Priest
18. Black Velvet, Alannah Myles
19. Release Me, Wilson Phillips
20. ~~Don't Know Much, Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville~~
21. All Around The World, Lisa Stansfield
22. l Wanna Be Rich, Calloway
23. I Remember You, Skid Row
24. Rub You The Right Way, Johnny Gill
25. She Ain't Worth It, Glenn Medeiros Featuring Bobby Brown
26. If Wishes Came True, Sweet Sensation
27. The Power, Snap
28. (Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection, Nelson
29. Love Will Lead You Back, Taylor Dayne
30. Don't Wanna Fall In Love, Jane Child
31. Two To Make It Right, Seduction
32. Sending All My Love, Linear
33. Unskinny Bop, Poison
34. Step By Step, New Kids On The Block
35. Dangerous, Roxette
36. We Didn't Start The Fire, Billy Joel
37. I Don't Have The Heart, James Ingram
38. Downtown Train, Rod Stewart
39. Rhythm Nation, Janet Jackson
40. I'll Be Your Everything, Tommy Page
41. Roam, B-52's
42. Everything, Jody Watley
43. Back To Life, Soul II Soul
44. Here and Now, Luther Vandross
45. Alright, Janet Jackson
46. ~~Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla Ice~~
47. Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
48. Have You Seen Her, M.C. Hammer
49. With Every Beat Of My Heart, Taylor Dayne
50. Come Back To Me, Janet Jackson
51. No More Lies, Michel'le
52. Praying For Time, George Michael
53. How Can We Be Lovers, Michael Bolton
54. Do You Remember, Phil Collins
55. Ready Or Not, After 7
56. ~~U Can't Touch This, M.C. Hammer~~
57. I Wish It Would Rain Down, Phil Collins
58. Just Between You and Me, Lou Gramm
59. Something Happened On The Way To Heaven, Phil Collins
60. Black Cat, Janet Jackson
61. Can't Stop, After 7
62. Janie's Got A Gun, Aerosmith
63. The Humpty Dance, Digital Underground
64. I'll Be Your Shelter, Taylor Dayne
65. ~~Free Fallin', Tom Petty~~
66. Giving You The Benefit, Pebbles
67. Enjoy The Silence, Depeche Mode
68. Love Song, Tesla
69. Price Of Love, Bad English
70. Girls Nite Out, Tyler Collins
71. King Of Wishful Thinking, Go West
72. What Kind Of Man Would I Be?, Chicago
73. Get Up! (Before The Night Is Over), Technotroic
74. Here We Are, Gloria Estefan
75. Epic, Faith No More
76. Love Takes Time, Mariah Carey
77. Just Like Jesse James, Cher
78. Love Shack, B-52's
79. All Or Nothing, Milli Vanilli
80. Romeo, Dino
81. Everybody Everybody, Black Box
82. I Go To Extremes, Billy Joel
83. Whip Appeal, Babyface
84. Oh Girl, Paul Young
85. C'mon and Get My Love, D-Mob With Cathy Dennis
85. ~~(It's Just) The Way That You Love Me, Paula Abdul~~
87. We Can't Go Wrong, Cover Girls
88. When I'm Back On My Feet Again, Michael Bolton
89. Make You Sweat, Keith Sweat
90. This One's For The Children, New Kids On The Block
91. What It Takes, Aerosmith
92. Forever, Kiss
93. Jerk Out, Time
94. Just A Friend, Biz Markie
95. Whole Wide World, A'me Lorain
96. Without You, Motley Crue
97. Swing The Mood, Jive Bunny and The Mastermixers
98. Thieves In The Temple, Prince
99. Mentirosa, Mellow Man Ace
100. Tic-Tac-Toe, Kyper

sigh

2008-08-27T19:52:00.002-05:00

Color me disappointed.

I know I've blogged about the fiber guild that I meet with on the last Wednesday of the month. Well due to illness and my just plain forgetting, it's been a few months since I've been able to go. Well, today just so happens to be the last Wednesday of the month.

I got the kid dressed and in the car. We drove the 15 miles or so downtown. And no one was there. The doors were locked and the lights were off. *sigh*

So, I decided to run to the nearest bank for some cash. I always take the kid for some fries afterwards. Well it wasn't too far out of the way, so I drove back past the community center and the lights were on. Unfortunately, the doors were still locked. *grumble*

I just said screw it and took the kid to McDonald's and got him a happy mean. And I gotta admit, the fries I got were the best fries I've had in ages. I wasted some gas, but at least I ended up with some good fries. lol

Been working on the Galveston shawl again. I haven't gotten very far though. heh I should have gotten a few inches done tonight but I'm going to write instead. I've decided to write my own Harry Potter fan fiction story. It's a story that has been knocking around in my head for a few months now. I even dream about it. I'm on the third chapter and so far the two people that have read what I've got, have liked it. I want to get at least halfway through the story before I ask for some betas and publish it. I just want to make sure that I actually finish the darn thing. hehe

been a long time

2008-08-25T20:46:00.003-05:00

This last week or so was very busy for me and the kid. Two weeks ago, my folks decided that I needed to take the kid on vacation. Ummmmm ok. They suggested a water park in Rockford, Il or the Mall of America. I have heard nasty things about that water park and well that isn't really my speed.

So, last Monday, the kid and I took off for Minneapolis. We took dad's van because he has a dvd player and well I need to update my plates. heh We made real good time and got to the mall about 11am. I swear I've never spent so much time driving in circles though. There was lots of construction on 35N. Nick spent the afternoon riding on the rides. He only freaked out once and that was because his bumper car wasn't working right. He ended up getting a tummy ache after riding on the Fairly Odd Coaster.

It was a long drive back to the hotel in Owtanna. Big mistake booking a hotel so far away. Oh well. The ride back into Minneapolis took forever. A semi tipped over on a frontage road and spilled corn all over the interstate. It took about a half hour to go about 5 miles. We had to get back into town though because I wanted to meet Bubbo and Joy!! Monday was Joy's last chance to meet up with the Minneapolis knitters because she is moving to NYC like tomorrow. heh I recognized Heather right off even though she went from pink hair to purple. :) She was so totally sweet. Irene and Betsy were cool too. I'm not sure if they are on Ravelry or have blogs. oops

We sat and chatted for a while. They were all so completely funny and super sweet. I could have stayed all night but Nick was getting antsy. He kept asking to go outside but ummm not gonna happen in Minneapolis even if it was uptown and not downtown. I got a bit of a shock when I went to leave. Bubbo grabbed my ass. hehe I totally should have given her a hug. I'm hoping that in the spring the kid and I can make another trip up to the mall and I intend to correct that.

I had to call my dad to figure out how in the heck to turn the headlights on on his van. I think he was ready to reach through the phone and smack me. hehe It was a long ride back to the hotel and we picked up McDonald's for supper. We fell asleep watching Transformers. Unfortunately, the kid woke me up a couple hours later. He ended up puking his guts out in the bathroom. He fell asleep while I was cleaning up and slept all night. He woke up just fine and dandy but boy was I sore. hehe

We drove back up to the mall Tuesday morning and went to the aquarium. We actually went through twice with a break to walk all 4 levels of the mall. Well we really didn't walk around on the first floor cause we did that on Monday. I saw tons of shops that I would love to visit when I actually have money to spend. All in all, I bought a puzzle and some postcards. I should scan them and share em with y'all. The best part of the aquarium was getting to pet the stingrays and the baby sharks. Nick totally chickened out and wouldn't touch them. After that we made the long trek home. It sucked having to listen to the dvd player instead of my mp3 player. (It hid itself in the van and I couldn't find it for the ride home) We didn't get home until 8pm because we stayed at my folk's house for awhile after getting back.

Nick went back to school on Thursday and it was so nice. hehe He did go to vacation bible school for a week, but that was only 3 hours a day. So not the same. I took Saturday and Sunday off from work because my folks were out of town. I was originally going to go with them to Chicago for my cousin's wedding. It's a good thing we stayed home though. When they got there, they found out that the didn't have a hotel reservation like they though. That will teach them to go to Chicago on Stitches weekend. hehe Y'all stole my folk's room dang it. They ended up driving home after the wedding. I think they got home at like 3am. Yuck!!

Nick and I had a better Saturday though. We went to a local nature preserve with Big Brothers/ Big Sisters. It was part of Take A Kid Outside. It's a fairly local program designed to get kids outside doing something productive. A park naturist gave a talk about the geology of Iowa and the local plant life. They primarily focused on the prairie and the push to convert more land into prairie land. After a quick lunch we got to put that into action. The park had torn down a house on their land and we helped plant prairie grass and other prairie plants on the hill where the house was in order to help stop erosion. Out of 80 plants, the kid and I planted 9 plants. Not too shabby when there weren't that many of us there. After getting cleaned up, we went on a little hike to see a prairie that was planted a year ago and to play in a stream. By the time we climbed back up to the welcome center, I was ready for a nap. hehe Thankfully, it was time to climb on the bus back to town. I treated the kid to an ice cream cone as a reward for helping out.

Not a lot of knitting going on around here. I've got a little over one side left to do on the edge for the never ending purple shawl of death. I'm trying to finish it. I swear!! hehe

nuffin

2008-07-24T20:48:00.003-05:00

Shamelessly stolen from AmpuTeeHee.

You Are Pink!

Tough. Sexy. Tough. Soulful. Tough.

Guys are both attracted and scared of you.

"I've been the girl with her skirt pulled high

Been the outcast never running with mascara eyes"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

Nothing much interesting going on here. Just been working and hanging out with the kid. I'm still spending most of my time reading fanfiction. I'm almost done with my favorites author's offerings. Then maybe I'll get my ass knitting a bit more. shrugs

I have been feeling a lot better since I decided not to move. A lot less stress on me. My folks have surprised me buy not even mentioning my moving in the last couple of weeks. I thought for sure that my dad would freak at least.

Ok, time to get my butt in gear. I need to get ready for another weekend of the usual grind. wheeeee!! lol

sheesh

2008-07-21T13:33:00.002-05:00

I was under the impression that, in Iowa, we actually grew our young people with some common sense. I mean seriously, I hear less rotten stuff about the young people around here than I do other places. (Ok so I live in a little bitty town whatev.)

Yesterday morning, I saw something that just blew me away. I've seen videos of this sort of crap on YouTube and on various tv shows, but come on why do people do this shit??

Ok, here is the scene: It was 5:35 am on US 20 near Peosta. I was just getting onto the highway going west when I saw 2 motorcycles coming east. I look to my left to see if I would need to merge into traffic. I look forward and see that one motorcycle has pulled again. Again I look to the left and then back forwards. I see that the guy on the first motorcycle is now on his knees on the seat.

Ummmmmmmm!!!!!

They are now to my left and I glance ahead again. When I look back over my shoulder, I see that the guy on the first bike is now upright on the seat!!! Because of the shear insanity of the whole thing, I can't tell you if the dipshit was standing on the seat or if he was doing a head stand. All I know is that his body was totally upright.

I had to look forward again to make sure I wasn't going off the dang road. heh When I looked back again, The first guy was now over a little rise and I couldn't see him anymore. I swear I felt like I was in a dang dream though. I asked on of the other gals that comes from farther east and the dipshit driver survived his little stunt. She didn't see his battered body on the other side of the overpass. heh

Looking back, I think the man on the second bike probably had a video camera on him. I'm sure that the video is up on YouTube today. hehe I'm just sorry that I have a really slow connection and I can't watch it. I've come to the conclusion that little Mr. Nick will not be allowed to have a motorcycle. EVER!!!!!

Dang

2008-07-01T20:24:00.002-05:00

For the first time in like forever, I actually went to a public pool and actually got into the water. o_0

I did wear my swimsuit. But ummmm it is at least 6 years old and the elastic totally rotted out but I didn't have time to go buy a new one. So I wore a t-shirt and shorts over top. I was worried that they wouldn't let me in the pool with it on. heh Nick had a total blast. So, tomorrow I'm going to go see if I can't find a swimsuit that actually fits. I swear I was afraid that by the time I got out of the pool that the top would actually be UNDER my boobs. I so need something with a better built in bra. Hell, I have some swimsuit material somewhere in the garage. I'm half tempted to find a bra that fits and build a swimsuit around it. heh

And why did I brave the whole public pool drama? One of my mom's oldest and dearest friends called me up out of the blue this morning and asked me to meet her there. She works with kids and has been trying to find activities and stuff for Nick to do. Mom has filled her head with her worries about the kid. *sigh* But it was real fun.

motherhood

2008-06-30T16:48:00.002-05:00

sigh

My son has a really nice bike that I bought him last spring. I've refused to put training wheels on it because they really don't help. He had them on his last bike and I found him riding it leaned all the way to the side so the training wheel was holding him up rather than trying to balance.

Learning how to ride the latest bike was put off after he broke his arm last July. My father has decided it is now time for him to learn.

bangs head on desk

I am not a happy camper. I am not strong enough or fast enough to help him learn. He can't seem to get the idea that HE needs to balance himself and I'm not supposed to be holding him up. I have to push him to start because he can't get the peddles going. The moment he starts to loose balance, he stops the bike. Half the time when I get him going, I realize he isn't even peddling. whimper

I have no clue how to help him with this. He spends the whole time whining that he can't do it. Then he squeals and whines when he looses his balance.

I've already warned him that we are going out again tomorrow. I'm dreading it though. It's times like this that I finally regret not having a guy around. It would be so nice to have someone to make do the hard stuff. lol

Take a bow

2008-06-25T01:20:00.003-05:00

Rihanna - Take A Bow

How bout a round of applause?
Standin ovation...
Ooooh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
(Please)
Just cut it out

Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
(You better hurry up)
Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' bout "Girl, I love you you're the one..."
This just looks like a re-run
(Please)
What else is on?

And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

ohhhhhh And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe
That you could be
Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech
oh...

How bout a round of applause?{laugh}
Standin' ovation.......

But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
Now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertaining' eyeahhhhh
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...

Another song I love. I'd play it for a certain someone, but he wouldn't get it. heh He don't mean no harm though really. He just makes me wistful.

I guess until I find my voice again, y'all are gonna have to put up with my musically eclectic tastes. I really need to add this one to my mp3 player though. :) It's mostly Disturbed and Korn at the moment. There is some Linkin Park and Evenesance thrown in too. Not to mention a couple country songs. :) I have resisted the urge to add in any Garth Brooks or Vince Gill yet though. heh I wish I could figure out the folder thing on my mp3 player so I could switch moods but alas it doesn't want to work for me. *shrugs*

get psycho

2008-06-23T16:50:00.000-05:00

Meaning of Life

Ow
Get psycho, I wanna get pscyho
Get psycho, I want I want I want I want
I wanna get psycho
Run you little bitch
I want your power glowing, juicy flowing, red hot
Meaning of life
It's not enough to have a little taste
I want the whole damn thing
And now can you dig it
Need to get psycho
Wanna hear you say it
Say you want it, need it
Don't wanna wait until we finish the show
It's not enough, you hunger for more
You're one twisted little fuck
And now you wanna get psycho with me

Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in
Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in
Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in
Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in

Get psycho, I wanna get pscyho
Get psycho, I want I want I want I want
I wanna get psycho
Scratch my itch
Give me your power glowing , juicy flowing, red hot
Meaning of life
It's not enough to have a little piece
I want the whole damn thing
And now can you dig it
Need to get psycho
I want to hear you scream
Tell me to take you, scare you, fuck you
After we finish the show
It's not enough
You listening whore
You're one twisted little fuck
And you want to get psycho with me

Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in
Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in
Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in
Give in, Give in, Decide, Give in

I can feel the blood flowing through my veins spilling on my soul
And now the hunger's getting bigger
Come a little closer now pretentious whore and pull my trigger
Free the violence that is building in me
I say now end of the ride murder suicide is how I've been feeling lately
Come a little closer now pretentious whore,
I'm reeling with a feeling that I can't ignore
Come a little closer now pretentious whore,
I'm reeling with a feeling that I can't ignore
Come a little closer now pretentious whore,
I'm reeling with a feeling that I can't ignore
And the need to get psycho
Is not a question to me

Get get get get
Get psycho
Get get get
I wanna get psycho
Get get get get
Get psycho
Get get get
I want I want I wanna
Get psycho(psycho)
Get get get
I wanna get psycho(psycho)
Get get get get
Get psycho(psycho)
Get get get
I wanna get psycho
want I want I want I wanna

I so love this song. I like to pretend he is singing about how he wants to get me (psycho). hehe Gotta love that man's voice. mmmmmm

Where I've been

2008-06-20T14:55:00.003-05:00

Hmmm, So I should probably explain my absence from the blog. There are lots of reasons really. A major one is that I've been reading a lot. I started out over at Mugglenet.com. I found some stories by Vindictus Viridian. Lots of great Snape fanfiction in his/her works. I'm not real sure on VV's gender. lol

Then I wandered over to fanfiction.net when someone mentioned the Jennifer Craw stories. Can we say total addiction? She has written like 20 stories centered around Snape and his wife Jennifer. The last book just killed me and I'm eagerly waiting for the next one. She is being a booger and making us wait. *sigh*

Lately I've been flittering around from one author to another trying to just find some good writing. Some of the stories I've found have just hurt my brain. I just discovered Change of the Guard by Lomonaaeren, and I've read the whole darn thing in like 3 or 4 days. Now I wait for the next chapter. lol But the wonderful soul has written 46 stories. :) I'm in heaven cause her style of writing is just WOW.

So mostly it is the reading that is keeping me from here. It's hard to really discuss the stories I read cause well I know at least one person who thinks I'm nuts for reading some of them. I don't mind slash in my fanfiction at all. I can suspend belief and go with the flow of a wizard being able to get preggers. Hell if I'm reading about magic, I can suspend belief all the way. heh

And yes I've been over on Rav lurking in the pants. I'm not posting there as much as I was before either. I've had a few bouts of sickness in the last couple months. Nothing real horrible but enough to make me not want to do anything other than read. I haven't made it to knit night in a couple months because of either the kid being sick or my being sick. So nothing much interesting going on. Unless you want to listen to me list the reasons I think it is insane for me to even consider buying a house. shivers My folks are trying to talk me into buying a house across town from them. Ummmmmm that just makes me want to run and hide. heh

Anyways, I'll try to post once in awhile and let y'all know I'm still alive. :)

no excuses

2008-06-12T17:33:00.002-05:00

Not going to try and excuse my absence. I've been busy reading a lot lately. Maybe I'll post about that later on. I'm not feeling real good at the moment so I'll get to the point.

If y'all can spare a few prayers for everyone in Iowa I would be very grateful. There is historical flooding happening in many areas of central Iowa. The water is so high that they can't predict anymore where it is going to go. I hasn't been this high in a very very long time. Higher than the massive flooding back in 1963.

Say a prayer for those that were hit by the tornadoes in Parkersburg a few weeks ago. And say another for the boy scouts that were hit in western Iowa last night. There were about 100 people at the camp and fully half of them were hurt. The latest I heard four boys died.

Ok, now I'm going to take my flu-riddled ass to bed. I get to work tomorrow regardless of my health. *sigh*

heh Got ya

2008-04-09T22:22:00.003-05:00

Ummm yeah, I meant to update this all last week. heh I let Ally and Sue off the hook Wednesday night. :D And yeah I do believe they want to skin me alive. So, yeah, the last post there, was an April Fools joke. heh Sorry Diane, hope you don't hate me now. hehe

I haven't even talked to TJ in a couple weeks. He is busy with his new job and hasn't been in to work with us since the before Easter. As far as I know, he is truly married. Frankly, I don't care much. lol I do believe I'm over him. I'm much too obsessed with a certain Mr. Alan Rickman. Can we say Yummy?? hehe

I was pretty damn sick last week. That is why I didn't get around to posting that the last post was a joke. I had a nasty cold for the beginning of the week. Then the IBS kicked in. I didn't get a wink of sleep Wednesday night. I did get a nap on Thursday and I went to bed very early that night. I'm still not feeling totally 100% normal yet. Shut up Ally!!! You too Sue!! :P I'm just real tired yet.

Had a wrangle with PayPal yesterday. After I got the kid to school I got an email that someone charged $40 to my account for some internet site I've never even heard of. Immediately I went and protested it. I changed all my passwords and security questions because it was obvious someone had actually been in my account and changed some settings but not my password thank god. When I got up this morning, the charges had been reversed. So all is well. But it shocked the shit out of me.

Filed my taxes this afternoon. I'm getting back enough to pay off my student loans and give my folks a bit of money. I wish like hell I could keep some of it for myself though. hehe Not that I need to buy any yarn or anything. Lord knows I've got enough to keep me busy for awhile. I've gone back and I'm working on the Autumn Mystery shawl again. I'm too tired to go back and find the name of it right now. heh

Ok, I'm gonna go troll the pants and read some more of the Jennifer Craw stories and hit the sack. Nick goes in for some comprehensive behavior testing tomorrow afternoon. Cross your fingers for me that they will come up with some ideas for him. I think he is just plainly a weird kid like I was though. hehehe Yeah and I'm still weird and that isn't soo horrible.

Long time

2008-04-01T19:35:00.002-06:00

I am so sorry I haven't posted. Things have been nuts here.

TJ and I have been doing a whole lot of talking. Turns out he was telling me the truth. He isn't actually married. And it turns out the kids aren't even his. She has been lying to him the whole time they have been together. She has been messing on him the whole time. Needless to say, he was quite devistated when she finally admitted it.

So, she has moved home with her folks and taken the kids with her. TJ hates being alone anywhere. So he is working both jobs. He was going to try and keep milking but he can't keep up. He is barely spending any of his time at the farm right now. If he isn't working, he is usually here.

We went out last week and found a modular home to put out on the farm because the trailer is just too small. It's being delivered next week, so I have tons of packing to get done. Yeah, Nick and I are going to be moving in with TJ. I hate being alone as much as he does. lol

My folks aren't terribly happy about this all. Dad keeps threatening that he is going to take Nick from me. But seriously he has no leg to stand on. I'm going to let Nick stay at their house on the weekends so he can't say I'm keeping him from them. We are going to keep Nick in the same school for the rest of this year and then next year he will go to the one near the farm. TJ even promised to buy him a pony this summer. That one shocked me cause I know TJ hates horses. He thinks they are a waste of money but I guess he just wants to make sure Nick likes him. heh

Ok, I need to get myself into bed. I've got to go out to the farm tomorrow and start work on clearing the spot for the house. Hopefully in a couple weeks I'll have time to knit again. Y'all take care now.

She surfaces

2008-03-19T13:35:00.007-06:00

I just haven't had much in the way to say lately. I got addicted to some fan fiction over at Mugglenet and I got lost in some Snape stories. Not to mention the time suck that is Ravelry. Always lots of interesting things to read over there. And loads of people to annoy the shit out of. :)

Actually, I'm kind of slipping into a bit of a depression. It's not so bad so far. No dark thoughts. Just a shitload of not wanting to do anything. I've barely knit a thing in the last few weeks. I still haven't done the finishing on the stealth knitting. *sigh* I know part of it is that TJ quit. This past weekend was his last. He'll be working 80 or 90 hours a week at his new job, so I'm not likely to see him again. Oh well, it wasn't a good thing for me anyway.

I got my February yarn from Story Publishing for their contest at WEBS.

I got a lovely skein of Swoon from Fiesta yarn. It's in the poppies colorway. Very yummy yarn. I can see why they call it Swoon.

They sent a lovely scarf pattern that works well with the yarn provided. Not sure I'll actually make it though. I might try and make either a hat or a neckwarmer. I also got some cute magnets.

Nick couldn't wait to put them on the fridge. I am not sure why he put them upside down though. lol

I've already gotten the March package but I haven't taken pictures of it yet. It was a skein of Berroco Sox. I don't really knit socks so I'm not quite as enthused about that package. lol I'll see if I can motivate myself to take pictures tomorrow.

If the child has behaved himself at school today, we are going to go see Horton Hears a Who tonight. Cross your fingers cause I really want to get out of the house. lol

groan

2008-02-27T23:28:00.002-06:00

It is never good to hear a small child yell out "mommy!!" in the middle of the night.

Just as I get in there and turn on the light guess what I saw. . . . projectile vomiting. Oh joy!!

I was just getting ready for bed too. I guess I get another day off of work tomorrow. ::insert eye roll::

I have a very sensitive tummy and OH MY GOD the smell damn near sent me into vomitous lurchings myself. Mix together curly fries from Arby's, teddy graham's graham crackers and lemon aid that smelt super strong when it got drank. . . . And now the house smells like a cheap version of febreeze. I can't stand that shit but the lysol just wasn't killing the smell enough.

I had to empty out a loud of clothes in the washer, so the dryer is going. That damn thing takes forever and a day. I threw all his blankets in the washer and washed em once and reset it to wash again with hot water. Damn the gas bill. LOL I still have a small basket with a pillow and his sheets and some clothes in it that isn't going to be washed until morning. I'm sure that is just going to smell lovely. gag

I just feel itchy and gross right now. I made the kid take a shower. He is feeling much better now. I reminded him that if he wakes up with a tummy ache he needs to RUN for the damn bathroom and not puke on his bed and dresser. groan I put lots of towels on his bed and put a garbage can next to it. Hopefully he will just sleep the rest of the night. I'm going to have to keep him home just to keep an eye on him though. He normally doesn't just puke once.

Gahhhhh I need to go wash my hands and face again. I had to change my shirt earlier cause I leaned into the washer when I was filling it and just covered the front of my shirt.

Ok, I'm done grossing you all out. I think I'll go have myself a little drink now. whimper

Sometimes life sucks

2008-02-26T14:24:00.002-06:00

I broke my damn front tooth. grrrrrr

About 10 years ago or so, I fell off the roof of the house. I was going to help Dad put up the Christmas lights. Unfortunately, I didn't put the ladder up very well and when I got to the top, I went down face first into the deck railing. My front teeth were knocked backwards. I had to have minor dental surgery to put them back where they belonged. They had to put fillings in the area between my front teeth because some of the teeth had chipped off. Well I now have a rather large sharp gap again. The filling was chipped before but it wasn't too bad. Now I'm afraid I'm going to cut my dang lip on my tooth. sigh And all I was doing was eating a dang carrot.

Now I gotta figure out which dentists are in network with my insurance. And who knows how much they will cover. They pay less on stuff that isn't preventative. whimper And this weeks check is going to be short. Last weekend I had to go home early Sunday due to whether. The boss was not to optimistic about getting to use PTO time for it. sniffle

Man I need a drink.

Yeah!!!

2008-02-25T10:35:00.002-06:00

The stealth kitting???

She is done!!!

She is knit, knat, bound off and yarn cut!!! Off the needles!!!!

I need to do a little cleaning and moving in the living room and then she will be blocking in front of the tv. I think it would fit on the bed but well I don't want to get going only to realize it is too long. I'll of course take some pictures.

But you can't see them. :P Well not yet anyway. lol

After I show it off at the fiber guild meeting on Wednesday I have to pack it up and ship it off. Once it's new momma has seen it, I'll post pictures and tell y'all about it.

Mr. Nicky had an eventful weekend. He got to go on a plane ride on Saturday. He was thrilled. I was surprised that he wasn't the least bit nervous. My folks took him and he asked the pilot lots of questions before hand. Mom said that most were kind of goofy. But well he is my kid and all. lol He went up for a short ride in a little 4 seat Cessna. Call me a chicken but I don't think I could have done it. lol I was on a plane once when I was about a year old. I haven't flown again. Where I to win the lottery, I might relent and fly to Hawaii or Alaska. I really want to go on an Alaska cruise.

Ok, off to figure out which of my shawls I'm going to work on. I've got 4 or 5 of them left to work on. LOL

I hate Iowa in winter

2008-02-13T19:27:00.003-06:00

Way too much shitting snow is going on around here. Go on over to Flickr and check out the pictures I took of the snow we got this last 2 weeks. It sucks.

Mr. Nicholas is still sick. This time it is a sinus infection. He has spent more time here with me at home than he has at school since before Christmas. It makes it very difficult for me to get anything done. I can't go anywhere because it is so dang cold.

I'm also getting over a cold. :( This last weekend was horrible. TJ was sick too so we made each other nuts. The tension between us is out of control right now. I swear either he better leave his gf/wife or whatever the hell she is or I better find myself a boyfriend or we are going to end up killing each other. LOL

Did I mention that I won a contest over at WEBS? They had a yarn of the month contest with Stoney yarns and yippy I won!!! This month I got a skein of Sheep Number 3.

Isn't it pretty?? It's a 100 gram skein at 325 yards of 30% silk and 70% wool. Yummmy stuff. :) And they even sent a pattern that uses just one skein of this yarn. Way cool.

I also got a picture of the Helen's Lace that I got.

Couldn't you just eat that up?? It's Chino. I can't wait to find the perfect pattern for this yarn. It is soo soft. Must resist urge to buy more!!!

If you go through my pictures a bit, you will find pictures finally of all the JaggerSpun yarn that I picked up at the end of the year. Some of it is laceweight and some is fingering weight. There is Navy, Claret, Pewter and a blue heather color. So much yarn and so little time to knit. lol Only 20 or so and I'm done with the stealth knitting!! Yeah then I'll be able to do some stuff to show y'all.

Ok, time to get the kid fed. He insisted on some tator tots. Then it's back into the pants for me before I get yelled at. :P

I pass!!

2008-01-28T07:28:00.000-06:00

You paid attention during 91% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

Damn and I really didn't think I would score any higher than AmpuT did. It makes me feel better about helping my 2nd grader with his homework. hehe Although there was that one assignment that got sent home after he missed 3 days due to pneumonia. Neither one of us could figure out what the heck the answers were. Turns out it was a vocabulary test that should have had an attached list of words that got left out. Ooops!! So, technically, there was no real way that we could have done it anyway.

OMG

2008-01-22T14:12:00.000-06:00

Lorna's Laces yarn is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freakin soft.

I just got a skein of Helen's Lace in Chino sent to me. And omg I'm in love!!!! I would post a picture but ummm I can't seem to find my camera at the moment. heh It's a tan color with hints of blue in it. It's going to kill me having to wait to use this yarn. I have 5 shawls on the needles as it is and I just can't cast on another big project right now.

The stealth knitting is moving right along. I've gotten 91 rows done in the last few days. OK so the rows get longer and longer so it is slowing down some but still. lol

OK, gotta put this yarn away so I stop petting it. I want to get back to work.

Surviving

2008-01-21T16:24:00.000-06:00

Yup I'm still here. I'm tired as hell but I'm here.

I swear there is a conspiracy to kill me out there any my subconscious is in on it. lol Thursday I damn near burned my house down. The fumes were damn near enough to do me in too. When I made eggs for breakfast, I somehow left the burner on real low. I had placed my cheapy spatula back in the grease so as to not dirty up the stove top. The spatula was nothing but a mass of melted plastic when I got back to the kitchen after eating. And the smell was horrible. I had such a horrible headache and I kept coughing. Nasty shit man.

Then my damn smoke detector went psycho at 1am Saturday morning. I had gotten up to use the bathroom and it started going nuts. It would beep really loud and in a loud voice say "Low Battery!!!" It repeated this crap every 90 seconds or so. I thought it was one in my son's room or the hallway, so I shut my door and tried to go back to sleep because I knew I didn't have a battery to replace the one in the detector. Well guess what, it was the one in my room. grrrr So, I got the stepladder and I tried to get the damn thing down. No such luck.

After about 20 minutes of trying, I was in tears and damn near hysterical. Every time the detector would go off it was like an explosion in my brain. I felt like I was going nuts. I ended up calling my folks and begging my dad to come and fix the detector for me. It took him about 20 minutes to get here and about 5 to get it fixed. It was near 3 am before I finally got back to sleep only to get up at 4:30 for work. :( I was a very very tired girl Saturday.

Cut to 3am this morning. I thought my ghost was back and bugging me. I rolled over this morning and I could hear a woman's voice saying something. It kept repeating. So, I got up and checked to see if maybe my phone was picking up the neighbor's phone since mine is a cordless. Nope the voice wasn't coming from the phone. The computer was off and so was the tv. I thought it had stopped, so I went back to bed. Then I heard the voice again more clearly and I could hear what it was actually saying. The kid has a Read With Me DVD game thingy and it was going off and saying how to set it with the dvd remote control. Only I wasn't so sure where the hell the damn thing was. lol And this time the voice was coming from a different direction than earlier. I finally found the controller in the hallway and I had to find a screwdriver and take the batteries out.

I never did really get back to sleep this morning. I've had a nasty ass headache all day thanks to that. I had to run the kid to a checkup appointment today and damn near bought it on the icy roads. I watched a car spin out in front of me and end up on the wrong side of the road. Very scary! The doc says that Nick's lungs sound real good. He will get a chest xray next month to make sure that all is clear this time.

Been making real progress on the stealth knitting. It's going along swimmingly. I'm trying to get my yarn straightened out. I've got 3 under bed storage containers full of yarn. hehe Someday I'll get it all up on Ravelry. . . . maybe. lol

whimper

2008-01-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

It was a long weekend. I though the brunt of it would be over when I got to my folk's house to get the kid after work. Ummmm no.

I ended up taking my mom to the ER right after getting there. She hasn't been feeling well for a week or so. Some nasty headaches for no real reason. Just feeling icky. Then today she was feeling off and she just got really hot. Her chest and head were really warm and she felt out of sorts. She was crying when she said she wanted me to take her to the doctor. I told her to get her shoes and went to tell my dad that I was taking her in. ( He had been drinking and was in no shape to drive. )

Good news is that it isn't her heart. Her pulse, bp and blood oxygen were all fine. The doctor thinks it might be hormonal or something. She has already gone through the change and had no hot flashes then but that might have been what it was.

I think part of it was stress. First Nick was in the hospital and then he spent 3 1/2 days at her house. He is a good kid but he can be a handful. And I found out that some stuff that I really didn't know about because of my age when it happened. I never really knew how old my grandma was when she died. I had just started 3rd grade. She was only 55. She developed lung cancer at 54 and died a year later. My mom is 54. She just quit smoking 4 months ago. Also within the last year or so, three members of my mom's extended family have developed lung cancer.

So, understandably she is worried. Unfortunately we aren't all that close emotionally. It's really hard to express any sort of emotions around her without worrying how she will react. Hopefully my quick agreement to take her to the doctor and sitting with her the whole time at least partly showed her that I do care. I do wish she and I had the sort of relationship that I am trying to have with my son but it is just so difficult. There have been lots of issues in the past that are hard to let lay.

Ok, I need a shower and some sleep. I was woken up too early this morning. I do believe there was a ghost in my room talking to me. I clearly heard a woman's voice saying something. I couldn't understand the words, but I clearly heard something being said. It was repeated for or five times. I got up and turned on the light trying to figure out where the voice was coming from, but I couldn't find it. Radio, tv and computer speakers were all off. I can't hear the neighbors tv well enough to make out voices at all and it was just after 4am, so not much chance she was up watching tv so loudly I could hear the voices. TJ of course thinks I'm nuts. Forget that he swears there are two different ghosts haunting his house and farm. But they only move things on him. He has never heard them make any noise.

BTW, Nick is doing really well. It's hard to believe he was even sick. He still has 5 days of antibiotics to take.

OK, I'm outta here.

hehehehe

2008-01-12T05:11:00.000-06:00

Too cute!

I think we should be pretty safe. hehe

Yawn

2008-01-10T21:22:00.000-06:00

I'm on my way to bed but thought I would update y'all on me and mine.

Nick was admitted to the hospital Wednesday night with pneumonia in his right lung. We stayed over night and we finally got to leave tonight at 6pm. He is doing really good. He is probably going to spend the whole weekend at my folk's house so that he doesn't have to get up early for me to go to work.

He slept pretty good last night but omg hospital beds are not made to be comfy. I didn't sleep for shit. The bed was hard and so was the pillow. I woke with a massive backache and headache.

And now I'm going to hit the sack. 4:30 am comes way too god damn early.

In a fog

2008-01-07T20:39:00.001-06:00

For what seems like the umpteenth time in the last 2 months, Iowa is encased in a dense fog. Visibility is maybe half a block. Right now Highway 20 is close on the east bound lanes. There were loads of accidents on the highway today. Both lanes were closed for a while because there was a semi across the one side and almost into the other lanes. So far, one person has died due to the fog in the accident with that semi that closed the road.

I stayed home today. Surprisingly, Nick's school didn't let out early. The only thing the district did special for the weather was to not have buses deliver kids home on the back roads. I can't even imagine finding out that my kid was stranded at school and roads were closed and having to drive to go get them. We thankfully live about 4 blocks from school. Turns out my folks stayed home today too. Mom had the day off work and didn't feel like going anywhere.

Not much knitting going on around here. I've done a few rows on the secret knitting. I've started the edging finally on the Galveston shawl. I didn't think I would ever get there. I finished another hat for the kid. I really need to take a picture of it. I wrote down the directions, but I need to tweak things because there are a few things about the hat that I just don't like.

Ok, I'm off to try and catch up with the 2600 emails I just found in one of my email accounts. Since TJ doesn't have internet at home anymore, I don't check the joke emails as often. I guess they aren't as much fun when I don't have someone to share them with. lol

Oh sheesh

2008-01-02T20:53:00.000-06:00

Now I've really gone and done it. hehe

I just went and bought myself a new car. Well not new new but new to me anyway. It's a 2004 Chevy Impala. It's tan with a tan interior. It's really nice. I've never paid this much for a car before and shocker of all shockers, the bank let me get the loan on my own.

Dad did all the negotiations for me. I so am no good at that sort of thing. Hell I didn't really even pick out the car. He was showing me cars and it was the one that he asked if I wanted to drive. lol We ended up getting $3000 for the old car. That is more than I was paying my folks for it. It was starting to fall apart big time and it was really time to get rid of it.

I'm just tickled that I was able to get the loan on my own. The car is going to be in both mine and my mom's names but that was to save me over 100 bucks in tax rebates because the trade in was in my folk's names. That and I would have had to go get the old car in my name before trading it in.

Now I have to try and clean my garage out. I need to get some 2x4s and build some shelves to put all my totes on and move my freezer against the back wall. I've never had any of my cars in this garage. Always too much stuff in there. hehe

Ok, I'm pooped and I'm freezing my ass off, so I'm gonna hit the sack.

NASCAR Christmas

2007-12-24T01:00:00.000-06:00

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hauler, Tony Stewart's belt size just wasn't getting smaller.

The season had ended, the champion crowned, and the last lap at Homestead left not a frown.

Carl Edwards was resting in Amanda Beard's bed, while visions of back flips popped in his head.

Mike Helton was sleeping and so was Brian France. With all these rules changing, they'd better put a cup in their pants!

When out on the track I heard an engine start, so I sprang from the garage to see Kurt Busch depart.

Away from the track he drove in a flash, with a Maricopa County Sheriff hot on his, um, butt.

The moon shone bright on the newly re-paved track, and it looked like Kurt might never be back.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a black and red sleigh, not powered by reindeer!

An unknown driver appeared with a swagger, and in the light I could see, it was The Intimidator!

More than that he stepped onto pit lane, and proceeded to call out other drivers by name.

"Now Rusty, now Terry, now Ricky and Mark, listen to what I have to say in the dark!"

"To the front of the field then on to Victory Lane, you guys are all legends, the sport won't be the same!"

Dale's message was clear as he hopped in his sleigh, and flew off to heaven, as night turned to day.

Before he left, to the retired he'd shout, "Win one for me, before you bow out!"

Snow day

2007-12-23T11:26:00.001-06:00

There was a nasty snow storm here in Iowa last night. Lots of blowing snow.

When I went to leave for work this morning it was still a mess. Lots of blowing snow causing drifts all over. I dug out behind the car and was able to get out the driveway on the first shot. Only one problem, no one had plowed the side streets. I got up to the corner and couldn't go any farther. The car just kept sliding backwards.

So, today is a snow day.

I've tried a couple times to get out, but no go. They still haven't plowed my street. And every time I get the driveway cleared and come inside to warm up, it fills up again. At least the sun has finally come out and the wind is starting to die down. (lol I typed out dye first )

I've been cleaning the kitchen and playing games on the pc. The kid is stuck at my folk's house. I almost stopped there last night instead of pushing on home. I could barely see the road at all and drove about 20 mph home.

Mr. Mousie hasn't gone away. I do believe I heard the little shit this morning when I was throwing something in the trash. I had hoped that the stink that is out in the kitchen was the dead mouse. Nope. Little shit left some lovely droppings on the one counter too. Yuck.

Ok, off to go fold towels and run some more wash. Hope all of y'all in the mid-west stay safe and warm.

My pc REALLY hates me

2007-12-19T16:23:00.000-06:00

gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I have 3 hard drives. One of them is configured with XP to run on this motherboard. The other 2 are configured with a setup that no longer exists. I had been using one of those hard drives as a storage device on here. A couple weeks ago my pc started acting up and I could no longer see that drive.

Soooo I started messing around with the pc trying to get it to work. Yesterday one of my IDE cables fell apart. So I went and bought 2 new ones. One of those has now fallen apart. *DOH*

I've ripped my pc apart more times than I can count today. As it stand, I have one hard drive hooked up now. I can not get it to start if I have either of the other 2 drives hooked up. And yes, I have the main drive set up as the master. The other two are set up as slaves.

I sooo am not in a good mood right now.

I'm going to look into how to turn a hard drive into an external drive. I know there are setups that you can buy for that. Still a huge pita. If they are too expensive I'm going to have to kidnap the brother and make him actually come to my house and set up the damn thing with the 3 drives inside. It's been at least 5 years since lil bro has been in my house. He is a butt.

Anyways, I need to go search for the info I need. Then I have to get dressed and go to a Christmas party. Oh joy!! NOT!! I want my damn graphic files back. :O(

my pc hates me

2007-12-18T14:49:00.000-06:00

I figured out why my other hard drive wasn't being seen.

The data cable was coming apart. When I tried to mess with it, it pulled right out. Sooooo I am gonna head to Staples and hope they have some. I'm gonna get 2 of them cause right now I only have one that works and it is as old as the other one.

Frod needs her pc. A pcless Frod is not a good thing.

That is all. Continue as you were.

ETA: For future reference, if you live in the Dubuqueland area, do not go to Staples or Best Buy looking for IDE cables (yeah that is what those data cable/ribbons thingies are called). They may sell hard drives and other drives but they don't sell the cables to connect them. I got mine at Radio Shack. Picked up a package of DVD-Rs so I can back up all my shit too. lol

Tis the season

2007-12-18T12:07:00.000-06:00

... for me to feel like an ungrateful grinchy brat. *sigh*

A couple months ago, my dad helped me clean out a bunch of junk in my garage. He decided to haul away my very old Christmas tree. It was a total pain in the ass to put together. It usually took me well over a half hour cause I had to insert every single branch and it was huge. He told me he had a better tree that would be easier to put up. Well I hated the old tree so I said sure.

I put up the new tree today.

And I hate it.

It is so small and puny that it is ugly. There are only 3 pieces to it so it only took about 2 minutes to put together. But the branches are sparse and very short. I can see right through it. :(

Yes it was very cool to be able to put the tree up by myself and not end up with a huge backache. Sure it takes up a lot less room.

But I hate it. sniffle

If I tell my folks, they will get pissed. I'm not sure why they bought it in the first place. I think they had it up in their basement but I never paid attention to it.

I'm just so used to the huge tree that took up almost half of my living room. It totally blocked the windows on the back wall and you had to lean a little in the chair in order to watch tv. This one barely fills the corner of the room. I have no troubles getting to the window and I know the chair won't hit it when it gets reclined like the old one.

It just feels like a big part of what made up my Christmas is gone. And I can't afford to get a new tree and lord knows I don't want to hear my folks bitch about my being ungrateful.

Oh my aching checkbook

2007-12-14T20:55:00.000-06:00

Sarah's Yarns is going to be increasing the price of their Jaggerspun yarns. The manufacturer is going to be charging them more, so they have to charge us more. The increases take effect Monday. Sooooooooo I ordered two cones of yarn. lol I got a cone of Mainline 2/8 in Claret and Mainline 2/20 in Admiral. I also got a free color card and to get free shipping, I ordered a White Lies pattern. I forget just which one at the moment. It's a shell top. Not one of the real flouncy ones. I really lover their designs but I can do without the flared sleeves that most of them have. I suppose I could just figure out how to do them straighter, but well I'm lazy. :OP

Ok, I need to hit the sack. It was a long day and there are two to go yet.

Cross your fingers that my lil mousie guest will get himself dead tonight. I hate mice. *grumble*

Winter sucks

2007-12-13T08:41:00.000-06:00

More ice storms hitting Iowa. The ice in the driveway is 2 inches thick. Thankfully Dad is going to finish clearing it for me. Cause I get to go to work today. Oh joy. I had not planned on going to work today but I got a call from Dad that Mom wants me there. *sigh*

When I went to go to work yesterday my car was totally encased in ice. Umm I didn't think to try and clear the car the day before. I had only tried to clear the ice in the driveway with no success. In my efforts to clear the car off, I fell on my ass. My right arm is bruised up and I've got a nasty scrape on my wrist. it's now infected too. Poured some peroxide on it earlier and damn near bit my tongue it hurt so bad. I've got to figure out a way to keep my work gloves from rubbing on it or it is going to be sore as hell by Sunday night. I'm having troubles getting bandages to stick.

I knit the kid another hat the other day. It's of course not what my folks think is right for him. Doesn't fit just right. Isn't the right color. *sigh* Let's see my mom knit him a damn hat. Oh that's right, she doesn't know how to knit or even crochet.

Garh I'm just feeling grumbly right now. I didn't sleep well last night at woke up at 5:30. I had hoped to take a small nap before my dad came over to shovel, but instead I have to go take a shower and go to work. Then it will be time to go get the kid and then go to the store. I need to get some traps or poison for the kitchen. I have a mouse in the house. Saw it last night running in front of the bathroom door. Which is no where near the dang kitchen which is where I thought the lil shit was confining itself cause that is where the food is. I hate mice.

FO

2007-12-03T20:51:00.000-06:00

I've been knitting. I present Nick's Fake Isle Hat. :)

It's not perfect, but I like it. I saved off this pattern quite a while ago. It's been a long time since I've made a hat though. When the kid got ready for school on Wednesday we realized he had a hole in his hat. So I cast on for this one. I didn't work on it at all this weekend thanks to work. So really it only took me about 2 days of knitting off and on. Not too bad for me. hehe

Blame it on Ravelry

2007-12-03T10:48:00.000-06:00

Yes, I've been sucked in. It's all Laurie's fault. I wasn't going to even sign up for it knowing it would suck up all my time. I was right.

I've been busy with other things too though.

I worked Tuesday and that always kicks my butt. Wednesday I actually went to the fiber guild meeting!! It was so fun to actually watch people knitting. There were 3 people there with spinning wheels. One lady was spinning her dogs hair. hehe It looked like wool though. I would have never guessed it was dog hair. 2 ladies were doing needlepoint. Very nice stuff. Nick managed to behave himself for the most part. We ended up staying 2 hours. I do believe next time I'm going to have Mom watch him so he doesn't end up staying up so late. It is the day after Christmas but still. He just doesn't deal well with staying up so late.

Thursday was the kid's winter program. I met up with Mom and Dad for the kindergarten, first and second grade's program. All the kids did a great job. They did a few other holiday type songs but none were specifically Christmas. I ran into one of my cousins and he of course ran as soon as I said hi to him. He is just an ass. It wasn't like I planted myself in front of him and started yammering on. He just happened to be there when I turned around to go find the kid and said hi and how are ya and he bolted. But who cares. As I said, he is an ass. Nick insisted that we stay for the 3rd, 4th adn 5th grader's program. My folks hit the road, but I'm glad Nick and I stayed. The older kids program was hilarious. They had some really funny songs. As soon as they brought the lights up at the end, we bolted. We were the first people out of the parking lot. hehe I hate crowds and trying to get out of an event.

Here is a picture of the new haircut. I hate this picture but it was the best that I could do. It's hard to take a picture of yourself. My face just looks huge in this picture. bleck Not to mention my nose looks huge. lol Oh well.

Ok, I need to go try and break up the ice in the driveway. It's horrid. There is over an inch of it. When I parked the car in the driveway last night, it didn't even dent the snow and ice. I poured a whole dang bag of salt on the driveway so hopefully most of the ice will break up. Oh such fun.

Update

2007-11-23T15:14:00.000-06:00

Ok, so my brother is a typical male. He only hears what he wants to hear.

He totally does not remember the conversation we had about getting a gift certificate for garden thins for the folks. He honestly thought we were only getting them a dinner out.

Ummmmm yeah....

He and his wife both have really good paying jobs. They own a house and multiple vehicles. They have no kids but 2 dogs.

I am a single mom with no help from my son's father. I do make an ok amount of money but not enough to buy a house. I own one vehicle that I'm still paying my folks for.

And I am supposed to be the one paying for my parents present from both of us???? Yeah, I don't think so.

I do believe he is going to go off and get them a gift certificate for either Lowes or Menards. At least he better. If he can go buy himself a 32 inch flat screen tv when they already have 3 tvs that work just fine and dandy, I think he can afford to spend some money on our folks. Especially when you think about the fact that I'm the one that had my tv die on me and I replaced it with an old console tv that my folks got out of the garbage. *sigh*

gobble gobble

2007-11-23T10:54:00.000-06:00

Hope y'all in America had a great Thanksgiving day. I hope it was spent with family and friends that you actually enjoy spending time with. hehe

Ours wasn't too bad. Watching the 3 dogs going nuts playing was quite fun. I managed to finish 2 rows of the Galveston shawl. It is soooo slow going. For some reason my needles kept pulling out of the stitches. Thankfully I'm pretty good at picking stitches back up in lace. Lord knows I've had enough practice. hehe

The kid of course pretty much refused to eat. All attention had to be on him as he sighed and groaned each time I told him to take a bite. In the end he ate a bit of mashed potatoes and corn. He had one little bite of turkey. He wouldn't touch the stuffing or the green beans. We did manage to keep from having the whole thing turn into a yelling and screaming match.

I gave my folk their anniversary gift early. Their anniversary isn't until Monday, but I gave them a dinner at a nice restaurant in town. I didn't want my mom to have to cook her own dinner that night. Of course that still couldn't be without controversy. About a month ago, I called my bro and asked him what we should do for their anniversary this year since it is their 30th. We agreed on dinner and a gift certificate for a nursery or something. I told my bro that I would take care of the dinner reservations and such since he is 2 hrs away and he could take care of the other. So a week later I called him and told him where I found for them to eat and said I would take care of that part. I didn't ask him what he had come up with. Well anyway, last night late, I get an email from my mom that bro had told her that the dinner was supposed to be from both of us. He and his wife forgot their card at home and I still have no clue what their part of the gift is. I just put mine and Nick's name on the dinner because I told bro that I would take care of that part and he had his part. So now I look like the ass. When I'm the one that came up with the idea. I'm the one that found the restaurant. I'm the one that put the money in the card. And so far as I've seen bro hasn't done shit. grrrrrrr

Add to that, I called to talk to Mom this morning but she was out shopping. I talked to Dad and told him about the whole deal. And he COMPLAINED that the restaurant was too far away. ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Excuse me for picking a nice restaurant on the river instead of picking the crappy family restaurant in the next town over. Hell at least dinner would have been half as much there. *sigh* Nothing is ever good enough for that man. Especially if it comes from me.

And it doesn't help that I was up half the night. Well most of the night. I read Mom's email right before I went to bed and my stomach decided it was not time to go to bed. It got nasty around 1am. I hate dry heaves. I slept in until 9, but I didn't go to sleep until after 3:30. I could so easily just go back to sleep right now but my tummy is still not happy. *sigh* I may have to risk it though cause I can't concentrate on anything anyways.

bleck

2007-11-14T19:57:00.000-06:00

I'm not having a very good night. I'm really feeling out of sorts.

All day I've sort of felt tired and not really motivated. I spent the day mostly sitting here at my desk. I've been alternating between reading mail, blogs and ravelry. I've done a bit of knitting on a christmas project.

But about a half hour a go it just hit me that I wasted the whole damn day. I had intended to run to the bank and the store. I need to make reservations for my folk's anniversary dinner. I need to get the wash finished.

But instead, I sat here. Not really getting anything done.

And now my stomach is acting up and I'm on the verge of tears. I feel like I just keep letting life just slip on by. I don't feel like I'm really living half the time.

I need a snooze.

Pictures!!

2007-11-13T21:01:00.000-06:00

Wow that took awhile to upload!! Didn't realize I took so many pictures.

First we have the finished first clue of the Halloween Mystery shawl aka Dracula's Bride.

And some close ups.

And here is the Knit Picks Gossamer that I got in the mail the other day.
Isn't it pretty??

And here finally is the Purewool that I got a couple weeks ago.

First up the colorway called Nuts. What I ordered is on the right. What I got is on the left.

I am not happy with the color variance at all. I've got a dye kit coming and I do believe I'll overdye it with some brown and see what I get.

This is Columbia and it is right on the money.

The Lace Blue is pretty too.

And lastly Firebrick. Yummmm!! This is what I was originally going to use for the Halloween shawl. I'll find something else for it laters.

And now for the goodies from Huacaya Moon.

The Moss Kid Seta. It is soooo soft.

The two books I picked up.

Here is the spindle that I picked up awhile ago. I haven't sat and played with it again yet. The roving is much more red than it looks here.

Some RubySaphire sock yarn I picked up a few months ago and never blogged about. It's called Brayden.

A skein of yarn from Perchance to Knit in the Harlot's Peacock or Midnight Rainbow colorway. I swear there is some color in there. It isn't just black. hehe It smells sooo good and is soft and yummy.

And here is the yarn I got for scarves for the family.

Just your basic Red Heart Symphony.
The pattern I'm using is super easy. Cast on a multiple of 4 + 1. Every row is *Knit 3, Purl 1* to the last stitch, Knit 1. You end up with a really nice wide rib. You get a garter ridge, knit ridge, garter ridge, purl ridge pattern across.

I picked up this duffel bag kit at Wal-Mart the other day when I got the scarf yarn. Man I love Wal-Mart clearance racks. lol

And here are my just because prizes from the Secret of the stole.

A really cool needle pouch from Lantern Moon.

A set of stitch markers from The Knit Stitchery.
And a tape measure from Lantern Moon.
There was also a 10% discount card from One Planet Yarn & Fiber. I can't wait to pick something out.

Ok now I really must stop trying to type. I've had a bit to drink tonight and omg my face is getting fuzzy feeling. hehehe *Drunk blogger alert!!* lol

I am a dork

2007-11-12T18:23:00.000-06:00

Man life gets away from me sometimes.

Ok where to try and catch up. The tummy troubles continue. I think I know what part of the stress is coming from. It's a bit of a sore subject for me. Suffice it to say there is someone I care about that is involved with someone else. No I'm not having an affair, physically or emotionally. I just have to let go of things and let them be what they will.

After much whining and psycho fits on my part, I did in fact head downtown to attend the fiber guild meeting. Mom had to talk me into it. I just completely panicked and did not want to go. I got down there and I guess there was some sort of mix up with the key for the hall. Everyone stood outside for about 20 minutes and left. I played stalker and sat in the car trying to get up the nerve to talk to them. lol When they left I went home.

Skip ahead to this past Friday. I took the day off work because Nick had off from school. On a whim I called the owner of Huacaya Moon to see if she would be open that night. Turns out she was on her way in. The shop is mostly only open Fridays and Saturdays and only when she isn't on the road for shows. It was a damn dark night to be driving out into the wilds of Iowa. The stretch of road from Dubuque down to Bellevue is not heavily populated or traveled and the brights on my car are not working right now. Nancy turned out to be a total doll though. She has lots of yummy yarns and spinning fibers. She is a big time spinner too. I picked up a couple books and 2 skeins of yarn. It's Madil Kid Seta in a really lovely shade of moss green (#470). I promise to take pics tomorrow. It's 70% Super Kid Mohair and 30% Seta/Silk. Sooo soft and fuzzy. I'm thinking either a smoke ring or some sort of head scarf for lil ole me. One of the books is a "How To" for spindle spinning. Nancy has also offered to help me get started learning.

I've also got a bunch of other new stuff here. I got a Just Because prize from the Secret of the Stole. Lots of cute little stuff that I'll detail tomorrow. I got some yarn and needles from Knit Picks too. 5 skeins of Gossamer in the Blue Jeans colorway. I got 4 more sets of needle tips and 3 or 4 more sets of cables. I just love the Options needles. Plus now that my Addi dealer is off of eBay it's much too expensive to keep buying those.

I finally finished the first clue of the Halloween Mystery shawl, Dracula's Bride. (pictures tomorrow) I've finished another couple rows of the Galveston shawl. I've got about 5 1/2 rows to go in total before the edge. I got some cheapy yarn from Wal-Mart and I'm working on some scarves for Mom and my sil. It they don't get done, no biggie. I am not planning any other Christmas knitting save for one mystery project.

I can't think of anything else to share at the moment. I think I'll go knit for a bit.

Yawn

2007-10-30T14:31:00.000-06:00

I had another bad night last night. I actually hurt my throat during the mess. Everything swelled up inside and it felt like I was choking. I'm starting to think the tummy troubles and lack of sleep are all in my head. Someday I'm going to make a therapist very very rich when he/she writes a book about my nutso self. lmao I think I'm going to dig out my sleeping pills and start taking them at about 8pm and forcing myself to go to bed no later than 10pm.

I worked at the kitchen today. I only went in an extra half hour more than usual but I swear it feels like I worked 10 hours. I did manage to get 5 hours of sleep last night so that is only part of it. I only actually washed dishes for maybe an hour and a half. The rest of the time I was helping in the kitchen. Spraying off the dishes was not fun since the food kept making me want to upchuck. hehe With the swelling in my throat I already was feeling like I was half ready to puke. Add in peoples mushed up messy left overs.

I got my partner's name for secret Santa at work today. Let's just say I'm not terribly fond of the woman that I got. I have no clue what to buy her but I do know, I'm not making her shit. I have no clue what to put up on the list for suggestions for myself. I know I'm going to put down that I don't want jewelry of any kind. I can't wear pierced earrings anymore. The holes have closed up on my left ear and trying to put in an earring is very painful. Think I'll put down anything to do with wolves or sci-fi books. Not going to ask for a gift certificate to a craft store cause frankly Hobby Lobby and Michael's just don't do it for me. Although I do like the bead section at Michael's. I need to visit Beads and Beyond again soon though. hehe

Also got some good news from Mom today. She is going to watch Nick tomorrow night so I can attend the fiber guild meeting. :O) She is going to come over here. Which sort of sucks cause it means I have to clean all day tomorrow. hehe But I actually get to get out of the house on my own and spend time with other adults that love fibre as much as I do. I'm going to take a long a couple of my finished shawls. I'll take along the Halloween shawl and the Galveston shawl to work on. I'm hoping to have the first clue of the Halloween shawl done before I go tomorrow and I'll post some pictures. I'm kind of nervous about going to the meeting but I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully I won't get some pushy woman telling me I knit all wrong and have her taking my needles away to show me how wrong I am. hehe I know I don't knit in the conventional way, but I had to learn from a cd-rom. Plus the cd showed the woman knitting with the yarn in her right hand and until last year I just couldn't get the hang of that. I hold the yarn in my left hand the way I do for crocheting.

Ok, I'm gonna go browse on Ravelry some. See if I can't find another long thread I can get lost again in. I keep finding big fights that just suck me in. I've only posted a couple times and so far no one has responded to me, but I don't mind. It's sort of how I roll on Yahoo groups too. hehe I'm Froddopsycho on there btw. Just in case anyone was wondering and wants to friend me. :OP

soooo tired

2007-10-25T17:54:00.000-05:00

OMG I have never ever been this tired.

I woke up Wednesday at about 3am. I next actually fell asleep sometime this morning around 5:30am. Woke up once sometime before 6 to use the potty and fell back to sleep until the alarm went off at 6:45.

I've been awake since. . . . . . . . barely!!

I am so close to falling asleep right here and now.

I do believe I'm gonna go see if the brat has eaten his dang banana and then take a short snooze.

groan

2007-10-25T03:41:00.000-05:00

I am not having a good night.

I can't sleep. My stomach aches. I've thrown up once but it didn't help. There is nothing to throw up left, but my stomach still insist on doing somersaults.

Sitting at my desk I can feel all tired and ready to sleep. Even through the constant ache.

The moment I climb into bed, I'm wide awake. I'm not laying there thinking about anything in particular that is upsetting me. I am just no longer sleepy and my stomach goes into over drive.

So I get up and head for the bathroom. I'm rereading Bag of Bones. It's been so long since I've read it that I don't remember the story.

Then it is back to the bed to try again. No go.

And now I've given up. I have to be up in 3 hours anyway. I didn't have a nap today, but I'll have to lay down later after the kid is in school. I can't let myself sleep too long though or I won't sleep tomorrow night. That would not be good as I have to work Friday. And I'm gonna be kind of on my own for the first 2 or 3 hours. TJ is coming in late so he can milk cows. Granted, the regular work week folks will be there, but I don't really work with them.

ugghhhh I need to visit the lil girls room again. :(

Photo heavy post

2007-10-23T19:03:00.000-05:00

Here are the pictures that I promised y'all of the kid.

Isn't he scary??

Here are some of the animals from the petting zoo.

The kid loved the goose and the bunny.

Here are the lil goats that I thought looked like lil sheep.

They stayed bunched up the whole time. And those lil bits of fluff on the left are actually some sort of chicken.

The kid was excited after making it through the hay maze.

He is such a lil ham!

And a couple pics of the parents new dog Toots. She just had a bath before these pics. She is impossible to catch still. hehe

Ok, I'm off to play on Ravelry a lil bit more while I knit on the halloween shawl.

Resistance was futile!

2007-10-23T16:50:00.000-05:00

I have been assimilated. My new Ravelry name is Froddopsycho. umm Yeah, did you expect anything else?? lmao

I've got most of my books up there but don't expect my projects up there or my yarn any time soon. I'm still feeling really icky and I have shizz to do around here. I'm on row 59 of the Halloween shawl. Renee named it today and it is called Dracula's Bride. hehe

Catching up

2007-10-22T06:57:00.000-05:00

Hmmmmm where to start. It's been a long weekend really.

Thursday I did take Nick to the Halloween party. It was kind of cool. He went as Frankenstein's Monster. We had managed to find a black suit jacket at the second hand store. It was a woman's small and thankfully had huge shoulder pads. Other than being a bit long it fit him really well. We just went with jeans and an old tshirt and his regular shoes to round out the outfit.

The makeup and such was much more of an ordeal. First I had to spray his hair black. I had him sit on the side of the tub and lean back into the tub. I figured that the overspray would be easier to clean from the tub than the rest of the bathroom. OMG was I wrong!!! People, do yourself a favor and only use the colored hairspray OUTSIDE!! At first it didn't look like too much of a mess. And then it got wet. There was black everywhere. It's been 4 days and I still have black in the shower and all over the sink. With work I haven't had a chance to really scrub at it. But man what a mess.

The face painting went much more easy. I ended up drawing on the scars as I couldn't find any premade ones at the store. I really wanted to paint some marshmallows and stick them to his neck for the monster's bolts, but I just can't figure out how to make them stay on. He did get green makeup on his coat but it just makes the coat look moldy so that is fine.

There was a light mist falling when we left, but Mom had assured me there were things to do inside at the party. The party was at a pumpkin farm. When we got there the ladies manning the entrance wanted to make sure that Nick entered the costume contest but that wasn't for another hour and half so I begged off with a promise that if we were still there we would enter. He got himself a bag of candy and we went into the barn to see what was going on. The had a large pit of corn for the kids to play in and some rope swings. A lady I work with was there so Nick sung on the ropes with her kids for a bit but wouldn't allow himself to fall into the hay.

Next it was around back for the petting zoo. They had maybe 9 goats of different breeds. 3 of the little ones looked sort of like mini spotted sheep. They stayed together the whole time. They also had a goose, a chicken, a rabbit and 2 strange fuzzy birds in the corner that I thought at first was just a pile of feathers. hehe Nick had fun following the chicken around and clucking and waving his arms like wings. He had decided that the best way to pet a chicken was to make it think you are a chicken too. hehe I had fun trying to pet the goose. He kept ducking when my hand got close to his head. I won out in the end. I've got lots of pics that I'll upload later. I'm just not awake enough to take em off the camera right now.

After the petting zoo, it was off to the hay bale maze. There were a bunch of kids climbing on top of the hay but I told Nick to not even think about it. He ran through the maze a dozen times or so. Then we took pictures with some pumpkin cut outs and a John Deere tractor. Then it was back into the maze. That is where we met with disaster. On his last run through the maze he slipped on the mud. His right leg and arm were covered in mud and he got upset. I showed him how to wipe his leg off on the hay bale. He got the big chunks off and wiped his hands off too. With that he was ready to go home. So there was no costume contest for us just as I had figured.

Then it was out to the folk's house to show them his costume. I had just meant to stop for a few minutes. But since the kid was all muddy, Mom offered to give him a bath there. I warned her that the black hairspray was going to make a mess. She didn't care though. So the kid was hosed down and then mom filled the tub so she could wash his face good. The dog kept trying to get in the tub with him. She can barely get her paws on the top of the tub though so I let her keep begging. Dad however had other ideas. He gave her a boost and she got a mini bath with the kid. hehe Once Nick was all clean and dried, we stuck around for another half hour or so. When we got home I still had to wash his face again with some cold cream. He had a very unhealthy green cast to his mouth area. hehe

All in all we had a real good time. And this has turned in to a mini novel and I only covered one day. lol I promise I'll post some pics later this morning. I've caught myself a nasty lil cold and I need a lil bit of a rest after the kid goes to school. Then tonight I'll yap about the rest of the weekend and why I've got to set up a whole new budget for myself. groan

I have progress!!

2007-10-17T19:48:00.000-05:00

But first, I'm sitting here giggling like mad. I'm watching a show on pbs. They just had some guy singing a song in Spanish that was all about the heart. He was describing in great detail how the heart works but it sounded like a love song. The video was mostly animations of a heart working and some very very old footage of hearts. The translation of the song was overlayed onto the screen. I completely fell apart when he started singing "lub-a-dub, lub-a-dub." hehehehe If you didn't know what he was singing about it sounded like a perfectly lovely love song. but knowing what he was actually saying made it hilarious. lol

And now proof of progress:

I've finally finished the second clue of the Autumn mystery shawl. Renee has already released the final clue and also the name. It is called Lughnasadh. Yeah, I can't pronounce it either. hehe It's the name of a Gaelic festival that has to do with the harvest.

Here is a close up of the right side.

And one of the left.

The final shawl is going to be very pretty. I do so wish I could find some of the yarns that I saw some of the other members used though. Some had very very long color changes. Maybe 20 or so rows of one color before the next starts. I think when I get my dye kit I'll try and do some sort of really long color changes. I just paid for the kit, so hopefully I'll have it soon.

Ok, I'm off to work on the Halloween shawl. I want to try and finish the first clue. It's another really pretty pattern. I so love all the shawls that Renee has released at Goddessknits.com.

It's Monday, Must be time for an update

2007-10-15T09:09:00.000-05:00

My son's school is giving me a complex. The kid has been doing so good this last week or so. He hasn't brought home any reports that he has gotten in trouble. We have been thrilled. Lots of praise sent his way.

So of course this morning I get a call from the counselor that she wants someone to come in and observe him because she is concerned about his coping strategies. uuuuuunnnnnnnggggggg She says the kid has been doing some odd things to keep himself calm in class. Hand flappings and talking to himself. The crying and getting mad have subsided for the most part. But she says he is still being disruptive with "hand puppets and voices."

I swear I wonder what the hell they would be doing with a child that has tourrettes or some other disorder. Would they be having a fit about them disrupting and distracting the class? The kid is trying his hardest to behave himself in school. He hates having to make up time during recess and miss out on the fun. He has been getting his work done at school so he doesn't have to bring home any more homework than absolutely necessary. And still it isn't enough.

So the kid is a lil weird. So what?? So is his mother. :P He is sensitive like I am too. I can get upset very easily. Which I am right now. I was feeling fine this morning. A bit tired but not ill in the least. I even managed to eat something before 9am which doesn't happen often. And now I'm sick to my stomach. I have no clue if I'm going to keep my breakfast down. I don't get why they can't just be happy that he is behaving and give him a lil while to see if the weird stuff doesn't just fade out as he gets used to behaving.

It's not like the kid isn't doing well with his school work. He is quite bright. His reading is awesome. I am amazed at the words he can read already. Very rarely does he have to ask for help with words. He brings home huge sheets of math problems and they never take him more than a couple minutes to fill out. Most of the delay time in it is him being a goof and asking me answers that he already knows. He is just looking for a reaction out of me. ( I sit with him while he does his homework.) He isn't real good at the spelling yet. Shit I'm 35 and I suck at it. He would much rather just spell phonetically. He tends to write words the way they sound to him and not the way they are actually spelled. The becomes du. Cutting becomes choding. He has sinus issues so sometimes his ears are stuffed up and he has trouble hearing.

I just wish they would cut him some slack. Just be happy he isn't hitting anyone and isn't throwing crying fits anymore. He finally has his cast off and is finally allowed back to recess and gym class. He has to get back in the swing of just being another kid that doesn't need help with stuff.

I'm gonna go lay down and see if I can get my tummy to calm down. I just hate that they keep trying to label him. It's just not fair.

not feeling well

2007-10-09T20:46:00.000-05:00

It's the classic IBS symptoms. But I'm not 100% sure that is all that it is.

I don't feel like I have a cold or the flu. My sinuses and lungs are just fine. No sneezing or runny nose.

I just feel off. I'm achy. My back and neck are sore. I've had a headache that just won't go away. Since last night I've had a stomach ache. I've spent more time in the bathroom in the last 24 hours than in the last week. I threw up so hard last night that not only do I have little bruises around my eyes, I've got them around my mouth. I've never done that before.

Right now I just feel like I could go throw up again. I don't know which end needs to let loose though. lol Gotta be careful I don't get a shorts full when I think I need to puke. hehe

I used to have some pills from the doc that helped deal with the nausea. Unfortunately I ran out of those about 2 months ago. I don't even remember what they were called. I just don't know what to eat or drink that might settle my stomach.

Don't suggest Gatorade. I can't drink that stuff. I had a procedure done a few years ago where I had to drink some stuff that tasted like Gatorade and omg I got so sick it was scary. For months just thinking about the taste of it would make me feel ill.

Oh well. We shall see how I feel tomorrow. I did manage to get a few rows knit on the Halloween shawl and 12 rows of the Autumn mystery. I didn't manage to work on Swan Lake or Galveston though. Maybe tomorrow. If my tummy is still being a bitch I'll have to stay home from work again. The boss won't be happy about that. But not much I can do. I can't be running to the bathroom every 5 mins when I've got work to do.

Pictures!!

2007-10-08T14:32:00.000-05:00

Warning!! This is a picture heavy post. hehe

I finally got my butt in gear and took pictures of my latest WIPs.

The Autumn Mystery shawl from GoddessKnits.com that started on 9-15.

Yeah, I've only got clue 1 done. I actually finished it like 2 weeks ago but didn't get around to taking pictures of it. Working the two jobs just hasn't left me much time to work on it and the printer was broken and I wasn't able to print the second clue. But I have printed it out and I'm gonna start on clue 2 in just a bit.

The Galveston mystery shawl. I'm still about 10 rows away from starting the edging.

Here is a close up of the last clue. Can ya see how close I am to finishing the darn thing? lol Just gotta close the diamond up and it's on to the edge.

The Halloween Mystery shawl from GoddessKnits.com. I've gotten 34 rows of the first clue done. There are a total of 80 rows. :O( Clue 2 just came out. I'm a lil behind. hehe

A close up of the center section.

And a closeup of the side. It's a half round shawl. First time for this sort of construction and I'm liking it. It's hard to see the beads, but they are a see-through purple. I really love how they match the shawl.

Not sure why, but my left hand is causing me some troubles today. I do have a pair of craft gloves and I'm going to see if wearing one on my left hand will help. Cause I really want to do some knitting tonight. I might even pick up the Swan Lake mystery stole for a bit. lol

Yes I'm still alive

2007-10-02T17:54:00.000-05:00

I'm not feeling terribly lively, but alive none the less. The sleep is still not coming easily. Even when I'm super tired. I've also been in quite a bit of pain lately. Last week sometime, I tweaked my left hip. Now I'm waking up already in pain and without serious pain pills, I can barely walk. Unfortunately the pills leave me a lil on the tipsy side. I'm safe enough at work, but the driving part has got me a little iffy. So, no pill until I'm at work and no pill after lunch. No matter how much it hurts. But thankfully, the pills last about 6 hours.

Still no pictures of knitting. I've been tired and it's been icky around here. Hard to take pictures when the lighting sucks rocks. I may have to build some sort of light box one of these days. It doesn't help that the light bulbs in the house have a yellow cast to them. And the sheet I take pictures on is beige. So accurate color is hard to come by.

I've started on the halloween mystery shawl. I'm using the purple yarn I dyed for a past mystery. I really wanted to wait on the red PureWool but it could be weeks before it gets here. Actually, I just wanted to know why everyone was having such a hell of a time with it. I'm only done through row 13, but so far no troubles. I need to find some beads before I get much farther.

Yes, I've signed up for Ravelry. No, I haven't gotten my invite yet. I was way slow in signing up. A certain someone tempted me by letting me sign in using her ID and look around. There are 10,832 people in line ahead of me. It's gonna be awhile. hehe

Head over to MochiMochiLand.com and check out the free patterns. I had to cast on for Bob. I'm using some mystery yarn in a blue color. I've got his snout done so far. No comments please on the fact that I've cast on 2 new projects without finishing anything. hehe

I have been trucking along on the Galveston shawl. I've almost got another pattern row done. This one is over 900 stitches. Very slow going. I'm off work tomorrow and I'm going to try and knock off at least 2 rows. I've got laundry to do and dishes but I think I should be able to fit in lots of knitting in between that and napping. hehe

I've noticed something strange lately. At least once or twice a day, I get an instant message on Yahoo from a male in the middle east. Some are quite friendly and some are down right strange. Yesterday I had a guy who claimed to be a dentist asking me lots of questions about my dental health. Very very strange. I'm just a magnet for weirdness.

Ok, I'm gonna go lay down for a few minutes. I wish I could just go to bed for the night but that would not be a good thing. hehe

I'm a sap

2007-09-26T20:22:00.000-05:00

Beck - Loser

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
butane in my veins and now i've become the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
kill the headlights and put it in neutral
stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain
about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
don't believe everything that you breathe
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
so shave your face with some mace in the dark
savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park

(yo cut it)

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

(double-barrel buckshot)

Soy un perdedor
i'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
one's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
with the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
the daytime crap with the folksinger slop
he hung himself with a guitar string
slap the turkey neck and it's hangin' on a pigeon wing
you can't write if you can't relate
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
and my time is a piece of wax fallin' on a termite
that's chokin' on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

(get crazy with the cheeze whiz)

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

(drive-by body pierce)

(yo bring it on down)

soooooooyy....

(I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel it)

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

(I can't believe you)

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

[repeat]

(This pregnancy is killing you, baby)

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

(Know what I'm sayin'?)

_______________________________

I had planned to take pictures tomorrow. I was going to clean house too. I was even going to take a nap for awhile.

But instead I get to go to work!!! I am soooooo thrilled.

I'm also a damn sucker. lmao

Got a call from the boss. Turns out they had a 3 hour window with no work study to do dishes tomorrow. So I get to go in. Someday I will learn how to say no. sob sob

I've been tagged.

2007-09-26T08:21:00.000-05:00

No, I didn't forget that Susie tagged me the other day. I've just been tired. Not that that has changed.

‘The 7 Weird Things About Me’ meme

So, here are the rules.
1. Link to your tagger and post rules
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random and some weird
3. Tag 7 people at the end of post and list their names
4. Let them know they were tagged by a comment on their blog

Oh the pressure to whittle it down to only 7 weird things. lol

1. Apparently, I'm unable to sleep on Tuesday nights. Yup last night was another night of getting up and laying down repeatedly. Had a horrible tummy ache and finally had to throw up. Looked at the clock afterwards and it was 2am. Tossed and turned like crazy the rest of the night.

2. I can't feel heat, cold or surface pain in my left leg or part of my torso. I have massive nerve damage from a car accident almost 14 years ago. I have learned how to tell the difference between hot and cold water with my left leg though. It tingles differently.

3. The book of checks I'm currently using is over 10 years old. lol Am finally ready to order a new box though. lmao

4. I've read nearly every single book written by Stephen King. I own just about all of them too. Some in both hardback and paperback.

5. I love heavy metal music. Current favorites are Disturbed and Korn. But I also listen to boy bands. :-O Much prefer the heavy stuff though. lol

6. I have no fewer than 15 UFOs right now. That doesn't even count the half started self designed lace that is laying all over my house.

7. I'm the oldest of 8 kids but have only ever lived with one of my brothers. And no I'm not that much older than the rest of them. lol We are all grown and on our own now.

And now to break the rules. I hate tagging people. If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged. If you wanna be that is. LOL

Now I'm off to make some phone calls and see if I can keep some food down.

I suck

2007-09-25T23:26:00.000-05:00

I promised pictures. . . . . I haven't touched the camera other than to move it out of my way.

I promised a surprise. . . . . I haven't worked on it at all.

I have knit a bit though. I've got 12 rows left of the body on the Galveston shawl. The row I'm currently working on has 898 stitches. Each row has an additional 8 stitches. Each row takes a very long time. lol

I haven't started clue 2 of the Autumn shawl yet. I did download the clue. And I've looked at the finished pics. But I haven't knit it yet. I haven't touched the Swan Lake stole or Etain. Or any of my other projects on the needles or hooks.

I got my stitches out this morning. Doc said my cut looks great. I had expected it to hurt a little, but there was hardly any discomfort at all. I just have to watch it for a few days to make sure an infection doesn't develop.

I spent the morning at Mom's trying to fill out an application online for some insurance. Their server kept taking a shit on me. Only the first page would save. There are like 10 pages. So in the morning I have to call the 800 number and see if I can just fax one pay stub that was missing in the first place or fill out the app that I printed and fax that.

While messing with that, I downloaded a program that lets you snag videos off of YouTube. I also downloaded a nifty little program that lets you watch the flv files on your pc easily. So I now have about 5 videos about Alan Rickman on my flash drive. hehe He is just too damn hot. I have got to see Snow Cake. I downloaded a preview of it and omg, he is just awesome.

Nick got his cast off this afternoon. He was very nervous at first. He was afraid is arm was going to hurt. After the nurse left after removing the cast, he asked if he was getting another one. He got upset when I said no. After he moved it around a bit though he realized that his arm wasn't going to be all wiggly like when he broke it. I guess he remembers more of the pain than he has let on. The doc says that his arm looks really good and is healing well.

Nick has to sit out PE and recess for the next 2 weeks. He is not happy about that. We had a long talk about how he has got to be very careful for the next few weeks. No running and jumping and no bouncing on the bed. I think I got through to him that he has to be careful that he doesn't hit his arm on anything.

We made a short visit out to my folk's house so they could see his poor lil skinny arm. The muscles have really disappeared big time. The skin looks real icky right now. Lots of dead skin. We have told him not to pick at it. I put lots of lotion on his arm after he soaked in the tub for awhile. The doc says the skin should look more normal in a week.

I'm having some very annoying pc problems. I think it has more to do with the fact that it has been on all day long. Lately I've been having to shut it off a lot. I can't leave it sit powered up for more than 2 hours without using it or it will lock up. The only thing I can do when it locks up is to flip the switch in the back. Well today I have been at the pc every hour or so, so I haven't had to shut it down. I think it is just being cranky. lol

Kind of reminds me of my body. I am soo tired. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get. I'm still beat. The alarm actually went off this morning for 15 minutes before I heard it. Granted it was on the floor and partially covered by a shirt and it isn't very loud. But still. 15 minutes!!! And I got no nap today. I was too busy doing stuff today.

Ok, I need to hit the sack. I've got stuff to do tomorrow before I go wash dishes. Not to mention I need to get the house cleaned up. Turns out there may be an inspection next week. gggggaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh I hate inspections. Plus, I need to find the envelope that has my new credit cards in it. I have a bad feeling I threw it away thinking it was an application for a new card. sigh And I'm almost out of checks. So pretty soon I will have no way to pay my dang bills. lol Wonder if the phone company takes PayPal. lmao j/k

I'm ok, U'r ok

2007-09-20T20:16:00.000-05:00

Well varying degrees of ok anyway. lol

BTW this happens to be my 400th post. Pretty scary if ya ask me.

I finished the first clue of the current autumn mystery shawl from GoddessKnits. The thought of setting up for pictures and then connecting the camera just makes me wanna cry. I am Tired.

I took a nap today but it wasn't quite enough. Shoot I even laid down again a little while ago and fell asleep for a few minutes. I am not really all that psyched up for work tomorrow. At least Bluto won't be there. hehe He won't be back from a trip with his girlfriend until sometime tomorrow night. The man just makes me want to smack him half the time.

The elbow is fine and dandy. it looks like it is healing just fine. No scabs and not obvious infection. Hopefully the nurse will be pleased on Monday when I get my stitches out. The kid's arm is doing fine. I do believe he gets his cast off on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to him not having an excuse to make annoying noises with his cast.

Once again he got in trouble for making noise during class today. He has not had one day this week where he didn't get in trouble. He was already warned that if he didn't behave himself at school that he wouldn't be going to the school festival. So he gets to spend the day at his Nana's house with no tv or computer instead of getting to play games. We are having a really difficult time getting him to behave at school. He doesn't seem to care if we take away his tv and computer. I'm about to take all his toys away too.

I've got a secret project I'm working on. I'll be ready to share it with y'all next week. I need to get some pictures taken and get some links together before I can really share it.

For now, I'm going to go find something to munch on and then hit the sack. Have I mentioned that I HATE getting up at 4:30 in the morning?? lmao

Moving on

2007-09-19T08:09:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a relationship that you just couldn't move on from?

It struck me last night that I've been in a holding pattern now for over 4 years. My last real relationship just about killed me. I couldn't let go of the pain and he didn't seem to want to let me move on. I tried for a clean break because of how hurt I was by the things that went on. For months he kept contacting me. He might lay off for a month or two, but there was always that late night call to bring it all up again.

I've hidden away here from the "real" world in order to keep myself from ever having to feel that way again. Only I just really haven't been living much. To be honest, outside of work, I have very little contact with the "real" world. I spend my free time online, alone in my room. I have a very select few people that I talk to on messenger and a few that I contact through their blogs. Other than my mom, I have no one to just call up and chat with in my area.

I've shut myself away from anyone that was a possible friend. I do not keep in contact with anyone from high school. I have emailed one friend that moved out to California, but haven't heard back from her yet. I'm hopeful though. I don't have contact with anyone from past jobs. Even the one I had for 9 years.

I have no one that I can go shopping with. No one to grab lunch with. If I want to see a movie it has to be kid friendly or I have to go alone. I don't even know where to go or how to meet people. So I sit here alone.

I realized last night that it has been about a year or more since the ex last contacted me. He was trying to apologize for being an ass. I hung up on him. But still in the back of my mind I waited. Oh he will call sooner or later. He always does. But he hasn't.

Google is a wonderful thing to play with but you have to be careful what you learn. You see, I know all the IDs that the ex used. So last night after being amazed at how much info I found on myself, I googled the ex. I had already known that he claimed to be married, but well I claim on my yahoo ID that I'm married too. And then last night I found his wedding picture.

And it hit me that he has moved on. And I haven't.

You have to understand that I've only had two really serious relationships. One with my son's father and one with the ex. Sure there have been fleeting relationships that didn't leave a lasting mark, but these two tore at my very soul. I lived with my son's father. We were engaged when I became pregnant. Soon afterwards I realized he didn't want to live up to his responsibilities. For all of his talk about wanting kids, he ran away scared. I've only talked to him once on the phone in the last 8 years.

After he left, all of my abandonment issues went into overdrive. I didn't trust anyone. I had myself a mini breakdown. Suicide crossed my mind more than once. But how could I do that knowing I was pregnant? So I hid away. I worked and read and crocheted.

Then I met the ex. He was always around and knew just what to say. Oh I sure know how to fall for the talkers. They both had their dreams and were aces at telling me what they "were going to do". It never hit me that the reason the ex was always around was because he just wasn't working hardly at all. He gave me all the attention that I had been missing for the 3 years since the last guy left. We were together for a year. I was happier than I had ever been.

And then he changed. We had made plans to move in together and get married. But things got put off. There was always the excuse. As soon as he got some money together. As soon as family stuff settled down. And then he cheated. And he chose her instead. But he wouldn't let me go either. I cut things off but he called constantly. He was sorry. She was nuts. He wanted me back. And I said too bad, soo sad and would hang up.

But I didn't move on. I waited for him to show up. I was sure that if he was really sorry like he said that he would show up. But he didn't. And when I would start to heal, he would call. And again the cycle would start. But now, he isn't going to show up. I honestly hope he has changed and doesn't hurt his wife the way he hurt me and the gal he dated before her.

But, I'm sitting here realizing I'm alone. I couldn't sleep last night. I kept being angry. Angry that he moved on and I hadn't. Yes it's been four years, but when I love, I love hard. I think the only reason I was able to let go of the kid's father is because how much I hated him. Hated him for leaving me to raise Nick on my own. With the ex, I made excuses for why he did what he did.

So I'm sitting here having got three hours of sleep. I'm sick to my stomach thanks to that wonder that is IBS. I threw up last night for the first time in quite a while. Just to make that ache stop for a little while.

And I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. What now? I don't have anyone to just hand out with. I don't attend church. I have issues with the whole religion thing. Do I go and sit through a sermon that will only irk me just in the hopes that someone will talk to me. I've always had anxiety about speaking to strangers, so just striking up a conversation with someone is scary for me. I have no contact with my siblings, so having them help me out isn't an option. They don't know me well enough to make introductions with anyone that would have similar interests.

I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I don't think I have much to offer someone right now. I have way too many issues. I'm just wishing I had some friends to hang out with. Anyone. But I have no clue where to begin.

I always thought the end of something was the hardest part. In reality, it is the beginning.

*This post brought to you by raging PMS and lack of sleep*

I R Slow

2007-09-18T14:03:00.000-05:00

And tired too.

Here is my war wound.

Yeah I know it's pretty small and I am a wuss. lol Well I did go back to work afterwards. Most everyone I have talked to in the last few days asked if I got to go home. lol

Not much interesting going on around here. Fixed the plug on my son's vcr and snatched it for my own room. They messed around with the times for some of my favorite day time shows and I need 2 vcrs in order to record them now. hehe Don't feel to sorry for the kid about losing his vcr. It isn't like he has a tv in his room anymore. I still haven't bought a new tv for the living room so his is still out there. When he complained about losing his tv, I reminded him that I bought that tv a good 7 years before he was born. lol

I started on the Autumn mystery shawl from GoddessKnits.com. I've only got 30 rows done so far, so no pics yet. I'm using Fiddlesticks Knitting Country Silk in Spice. They no longer have the colorway that Renee was using but she recommended this one. I'm not totally in love with the yarn to tell ya the truth. When I wound the ball and took it off the winder, I actually broke the tail of the yarn off. I'm gonna have to be careful with this yarn. It's 50% wool, 30% silk and 20% nylon and 800m per 250g. Much thicker than what I usually use on shawls.

I've completed another row or two on the Galveston shawl. Not enough for progress pics yet. I haven't touched Etain aka the last mystery shawl. Nor have I been working on Swan Lake. Just too tired. In fact, I would love to take another nap just about now. Unfortunately, it is time for me to get ready to go get the munchkin from school. Cross your fingers that he behaved himself today.

more proof

2007-09-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

That I'm a complete and total klutz.

The pipe that we bend at work comes in bundles. These bundles are held together using metal banding. When it is time to use the pipe, we have to cut the metal banding off.

Today some metal banding attacked me.

At first I thought it was just another of the many many scratches I've gotten while working here. Ummm not quite. The banding hit my elbow. So long as I kept my arm straight there was very little blood. When I bent my arm, the blood started flowing like crazy and omg part of the cut was deep.

Supervisor guy, Fuzz, figured a couple bandaids would suffice. Thankfully one of the ladies that works in another area came over to use the computer and agreed that it looked bad. The bigwig in the office offered to call an ambulance or call ahead to the clinic for me. I opted for the call ahead.

TJ was a great help. He helped me get my work gloves off. He also got the gauze out and put some on for me and wrapped my arm in a pressure bandage. Turns out while I was gone, he was the one to clean up the drops on the floor too.

But anyways, once TJ had me ready for transport, I drove myself to the clinic. After about an hours wait for the doc to see me, I got 4 handy dandy stitches. I tell ya the Novocaine shots hurt like a bitch. By the time he sewed me up I was feeling no pain. I squirmed though cause the idea of him sewing up my elbow grossed me out. lol The nurse reused the pressure bandage that TJ put on my arm and in fact I'm still wearing it. Much easier than using tape or bandages.

Tomorrow after work my mom is going to clean my elbow good for me. Then maybe I'll take some pics to share with y'all. hehe

It's a little tender, but not real sore. Hurts about as much as if it had just been a good sized scratch. I'm just looking forward to tomorrow when I can take a real shower. I can't get a bag tied around my arm to keep the stitches dry. So I had to suffice with a quick bath. I hate my tub.

Ok, time to get the kid in bed and pass out myself. I hate getting up at 4:30am.

absolute brainfart

2007-09-12T20:25:00.000-05:00

I just can't seem to figure it out.

The drop spindle has bested me. lol

I bought one off of eBay a month or so ago. yeah I know I didn't post pictures. I'm a butt.

I've watched a couple videos on YouTube. I've downloaded instructions from various sites.

All I ended up doing was making the test yarn on the spindle tear apart. Then I turned it into something resembling floss. My roving is attached, but it isn't looking a thing like yarn. The twist is not going up into the roving at all.

I think I'll stick to the knitting. sigh

I didn't forget

2007-09-11T22:44:00.000-05:00

Don't think anyone could. But with the whole depression shit going on around here I have tried not dwell on it.

Just try to live everyday like it could be your last.

It could be.

Feeling guilty

2007-09-11T17:54:00.000-05:00

Yup, I've been ignoring y'all. I'm a baaaaad girl. If there were someone here to spank me for it, I would let them. Ok, so maybe I might enjoy that just a lil bit too much for it to be punishment. lmao

Today was my first day off of work without the kid around in almost 2 weeks. And what did I do with my day? I slept of course. lol I've been so tired lately it isn't funny. Not very unusual for me though. Tomorrow I have off work too. But, the kid will be home. We are going to spend the day cleaning and doing art projects.

We just got back from Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree. We picked up a bunch of art supplies. I got two scrap booking type storage drawer units to house it all. The kid is an awesome artist in my estimation. I may be a bit biased, but I swear he is good.

He drew these all on his own. I had nothing to do with it. All I did was scan them and sharpen the images. You can see more of his sketches at my other Flickr account. The kid draws better than I do.

There has been knitting. I've put aside the apricot mystery shawl called Etain. I'm very close to finishing the second clue, but I discovered something the other day. I am on the last clue before the edging of the purple Galveston shawl!! I'm actually halfway through the clue too. Row 18 of 34. I am tickled beyond all get out. So, I'm going to concentrate on finishing this one.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to be starting the next 2 mystery shawls from GoddessKnits or the Secret of the Stole KAL. God damn I'm weak. lmao I've got the yarn for the fall themed mystery from GK. I just paid for the yarn for the Halloween mystery shawl. It should be here within a month. I'm not too worried about keeping up cause I know I'm not going to. In the same order, I've got 3 more colors of yarn to chose from for the SoS.

I swear tomorrow I'll take some pictures of the yarn I've bought in the last couple months that I haven't talked about. There hasn't been much but still I should have posted pics. I've got 4 colors of Purewool laceweight ordered. Basically they are not solid colors but not variegated. I ordered 2 skeins each of a blue, green, brown and red. The red will be for the Halloween shawl. Any of the other 3 should work for the theme of the SoS. Or I just may go with the yellow lace weight I have in my stash. I'm thinking it might be Purewool too. I will have to dig it out to be sure. But it is the same yarn as what I'm using on the Galveston shawl but a diff color of course.

And I just started a new crochet project. When we were at the Dollar Tree, I picked up 3 finger towels with Halloween appliques on them. I'm going to make them into refrigerator towels for my mom. I've almost got the attaching row done on the first one and then it won't take much time at all to finish. Hopefully, she will like them.

Ok, I'm off to try and get some work done. I've got so many projects going that it isn't funny and I need to get some done. I swear from this moment, only the projects I'm signed up for already will be cast on. No other new projects. It's time to finish some stuff. Yeah right! lmao

I love my mother

2007-09-05T13:51:00.000-05:00

But I do not like her.

The more time I spend with her, the more I want to run away and hide. Today was only the 3rd day that we worked together. We only actually are there at the same time for about 3 and a half hours each day. Within a half hour of getting to work today she had me in tears and near to having a breakdown. I even threatened to just leave.

My son has behavior issues. He whines when he doesn't think he can do something or he isn't allowed to do what he wants. He can have a meltdown about the simplest thing. He got in trouble at school again yesterday. I thought I had dealt with the problem appropriately. I gave him a time out when he got home. Then before the tv came on he had to do his homework. Then he was allowed to watch his PBS cartoons.

Today my mom kept coming back in the wash room saying stuff about how she doesn't know what the school is going to do about him. If he doesn't start behaving they are going to send him back to first grade. If he doesn't behave they are going to ship him off to the other school where they have extra help for kids with problems. I kept telling her I didn't know what to do with him. And she kept on about how he is going to get kicked out of school.

The kid has been back in school for about a week and a half. Most days he has had one incident of whining. He isn't violent. He just whines. And my mom's solution is to go immediately to the worst case scenario. I kept telling her to just stop. Then she yelled at me cause I raised my voice. But she wouldn't freakin stop yapping about him getting expelled. I begged her to just stop. So she starts in with fine, I won't talk to you. And she keeps going. By this time I was nearly hysterical telling her to just stop.

Finally our boss came in and told her to not do this here at work. And she finally left. I cried for about 20 minutes while I did dishes. Our boss came in and said she talked to my mom and told her just not to discuss it at work. I apologized to her and said that Mom just doesn't know how to stop when she knows I'm getting upset.

So for the rest of the day Mom wouldn't talk to me. Heck she would barely look at me. So now she is pissed off at me because she got yelled at. And all she had to do was drop the damn discussion when I first asked her to. But it's my fault.

We didn't even make it 3 days without fighting.

tired

2007-09-03T21:26:00.000-05:00

My body is tired. My brain is tired.

I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I've had lots going through this ole brain of mine. I feel like I'm at some sort of crossroads. I keep wondering what the hell I've been doing and where the hell am I going.

I'm feeling pulled in a couple directions. There are things that I really want to do but am unable to do for one reason or another. Sometimes I can almost see where it is I want to be going and then a roadblock pops up. My life has always seemed like one big roadblock after another.

I think a lot of my current mood started the day I had my lil conniption fit. I just feel this hole in my life. I can't quite fill that hole. I'm not really sure how to do it.

I'm seriously lacking in self discipline and motivation right now. I need to get my butt in gear and get a few things in my life straightened out. Part of me is afraid of having everything in order though. Hmmm could that be why my house is usually such a mess? lol

I'm a work in progress I guess.

Speaking of which, I have done about 10 rows on the latest mystery shawl from Renee at GodessKnits. She has released the final pattern and it is called Etain. And omg is the finished pattern so beautiful. And HUGE!!! I swear I will finish it. someday hehehehe I've also done about 6 or so rows on the mystery stole. It too will be finished eventually. I think I need to cut back on some groups I'm in. I have to realize that I just don't crochet much at all any more and there isn't much of a reason to belong to so many groups where I don't know anyone any more and I don't really follow too many of the conversations.

Ok, time for me to get ready for bed. I'm just pooped.

I'm still alive

2007-09-02T20:47:00.000-05:00

I've survived another weekend. But omg I'm so tired I could cry.

I think I need to find myself a personal masseuse cause I ache everywhere. So, if any of y'all know some big ole adonis type that likes to rub on middle aged chubby chicks, lemmie know m'kay?

In Demand

2007-08-30T00:10:00.000-05:00

Grrrrrrrr Blogger won't allow me to embed a YouTube video.

I really like this video though on a number of levels.

Texas: In Demand (with Alan Rickman)

For one, Alan Rickman is HOT!! He looks super sexy dancing. I swear I'm now going to have to just go down the list of movies he has done and rent them all. I've seen a few of them but not nearly all of them. I have this thing for British actors. mmmmmm

And also, it is a pretty good song. Not my usual musical style, but I like it. Swear I think Ally is going to be downloading their music for awhile. She found a bunch of their music listed and loves it. hehe

And now I must head to bed. I've got to work in a few hours!! lol

Holy crap Batman

2007-08-29T15:41:00.000-05:00

I've got myself a part time job!!

Interview took all of about 2 minutes. lmao

I'll be working about 4 hours a day washing dishes at the school where my mom works in the cafeteria. She has said for years that she didn't want me working there. hehe The last time my dad mentioned it, I do believe her exact words were: "I love you but heeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllll no!"

She actually is the one that told me to go talk to her boss. I guess they have been swamped. They don't have any workstudy kids helping out and they are a person short. The pay isn't great, but oh well. It's close enough that I could walk to work if I really wanted to. But I went to that school for 2 years and I only walked twice. lol

I start tomorrow morning, so I need to get my butt in gear. I had saved up my shopping and laundry to be done tomorrow. Ummmm yeah not so much now. I desperately need to go buy myself some new jeans for work. I swear all of my jeans now have holes in them in spots that just look real bad. LOL

Steppin my way closer to getting my bigger apartment. :O)

PS Thanks to everyone that responded to my outburst the other day. Just writing it down really helped.

PPS The new shawl is Zephyr in Apricot. I love this yarn. hehe

Knitting update

2007-08-28T17:44:00.000-05:00

I've finally finished clue 1 of Mystery Shawl 4. Yep, last clue was released last Saturday. And I just finished the first clue. I'm a knitting putz.

I should have put it on longer circs cause I didn't have enough slack to block it out at all. As it is, it is already 19 inches across.

Here is a close up of one section of the shawl.

And a close up of the center of the shawl.

I think the center is just too pretty.

I've already started the second clue. Ok, so only one row almost done but still.

Btw, the reason for the bobby pin in the first picture? There was a section of yarn that was kind of icky. The silk ply looked like someone had gotten it wet and coated it with dust. It was thick and gross looking. I didn't notice it until I had gotten back around on the next row. It took me a few times of picking at it to get all the gunk out. Now it just looks a little dusty/dirty. I'm sure a good wash when I'm done will clear the rest of it up.

They lie

2007-08-28T12:43:00.000-05:00

They always try to tell us that time heals all wounds. This is all just a bunch of bullshit.

Time doesn't heal shit. Time just distracts us from the pain. It takes our focus away so that the pain doesn't drive us mad.

But it comes back. With no warning and out of the blue. It smacks you in the face and rips out your guts. It doesn't matter how much time has passed. The pain is still as horrible as the day it happened.

Anyone that has lost someone that they loved knows this all to well. Especially if you didn't get to say goodbye. Didn't get to tell that person just one more time how much they meant to you.

It rips my heart out remembering. But I can't forget. It could have been just yesterday. I woke up one day to realize that this person was gone. 'Forever, with no chance to touch them one more time. No chance to say " I love you " Not even a chance to see them smile again. There was no closure. No ending to the pain.

I still wake up at night crying out for this person. Reaching for the hand that isn't there. And never will be. I've screamed out for someone, anyone, to stop this pain. For someone to take it back. To bring my love back to me. Even just for a moment.

I've begged. I've pleaded. I've even tried to bargain. If only they could come back, I would give up having known them. Just so they could be back. Or even to have said take me instead. But now that one is harder. If I had gone instead, there wouldn't be my son. And I love him beyond reason. I can't allow myself to wish him away even for the sake of the one I lost.

He doesn't even know about this person I lost. All he knows is that sometimes Mommy gets really sad. Sometimes she wakes up crying. I always try to hide how much I'm hurting from him. I'm not always so good at it.

All I can do it try and use the pain as a kick in the ass. A kick that tells me to stop fucking things up. Stop wasting what I've got when lord knows I don't deserve it. Never forget what I've lost and what it cost me. And damn me to hell if I ever forget.

Travis Tritt - Tell Me I Was Dreaming

When I woke up this morning
Wiped the sleep from my eyes
I found a new day dawning
And suddenly I realize
You're gone

Tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
It was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

I'm in a state of confusion
I hope things aren't what they seem
If this is really happening
Just let me go back to dream
You're home

Tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
It was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

Tell me I was dreaming tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
It was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

Don't tell me you didn't say goodbye
--------------

Toni Braxton - Un-Break My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on
----------------------

Garth Brooks - The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
-----------------------

I have way too many damn cds full of sad songs. I can't actually find the Toni Braxton cd which is pissing me off. I really wanted to listen to that song. The sad song help though. I sit and cry and sing along. And then I sleep. And then I feel better.

Not a good day

2007-08-24T20:31:00.000-05:00

I am tired and bloated and emotionally screwed.

I'm PMSing right now with a vengeance. When I was on medication, I didn't have any problems with PMS at all. Or maybe I was so dazed that I didn't realize I was. lol I'm just really feeling bloated and it's making me uncomfortable.

Emotionally, my fuse is very short. I can feel myself on the verge of either getting very pissed or just breaking down into tears. The damn raid isn't helping matters any.

A guy in our crew at work seems to have quit. He didn't come in to work at any rate. His buddy that just started a couple weeks ago went home after 5 hrs because of a headache. We aren't too hopeful that he will be back tomorrow. Hopefully we will get some new people hired to help out. There is another crew that works the weekend and they can't keep people on for it at all. It is looking like they are going to call off the weekend shift for them and make the crew during the week work more hours. I seriously hope they don't do that to use. I really like the weekend shift.

I'm off to bed now. I am just beat.