I think I'm loosing my mind

The following was going to be posted directly to Ravelry but I figured it would be best to post it to my blog instead.

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*gah* I've got issues that I don't really talk about because they don't really show up very often. One of them is a sort of obsessive compulsive nature. I get obsessed with certain things very easily. It's one of the reasons that I never really tried drugs. Sometimes I get obsessed with an activity like reading or knitting and it's all I can think about. On a few occasions I've gotten obsessed with people. It's never really been anyone that was local or even aware of my obsession about them.

When I left my last boyfriend it got really bad. I'm talking about checking every single social media outlet that he used to see what he was up to. I NEEDED to know if he was still with the chick that he left me for. It didn't help that for months he kept calling me and feeding the obsession. It's been a while and I will still once in a while check to see what he is doing. I haven't had the urge to check up on him in a bit though so that isn't the problem.

I know I've mentioned my extremely vivid imagination and love of making up stories. I don't really write many of them down because my brain is too scattered to get a coherent story out of it. Anyway, I have an ongoing story working in my head lately. I can't sit at my computer without adding to the story and I'm finding myself obsessing over this story. I find myself looking for more information about the person the story is about and it's making me twitchy when I find out information that I didn't know. Stuff like the fact that he doesn't live where he used to. He made a major move sometime in the last few years and I find myself itching to find out more info on that. And no, I don't really know him. It's someone I ran into a very long time ago but never connected with. Part of me is obsessed about what if we had. And no I can't contact him directly and I don't want to. I have no real honest wish to know him now because I am sane enough to know he isn't the person I've made up in my head. But when I find out info on him that doesn't jibe with my idea of him it makes me twitchy.

The thing is that once I get obsessed with someone or something I have to find something else to obsess about. I have to fill my brain with something else and I just don't know what the hell to use this time. The secondary replacement obsession never lasts very long and I usually just going back to my normal every day flavor of crazy. This last one just kind of snuck up on me real quick in the last few days screaming "HEY THERE CRAZY LADY I'M GOING TO COME LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN NOW FOR A WHILE, K?"

I think the turning point in to making myself twitchy over this was when the story took a very weird twist in my brain that I just could not figure out a way to get beyond. For a couple days there I was upset and crying because the story took such a dark turn of hurt and angst and I didn't know how to get all the characters through and to the happy stuff that I wanted to happen later. I think I've gotten them past the "omg I hate you gdiaf" stage to an "ok I understand why you did that but it hurts too much to look at you" stage. But right now I just don't want to deal with the angst and stuff but my brain won't put the story away.

And I really can't even bring myself to reread what I've written here because I know it all sounds so frickin nuts. Yes, I have myself an obsession about a fantasy story I made up in my head about real people that have no clue who I am but I can't put down. There is a reason part of my nickname is psycho. :P

Oh and no I'm not looking for advice. Or really even sympathy. I know my brain is a bit messed up but I've kind of liked living the last 5 years or so without medication. The therapist and psychiatrist I saw just annoyed the fuck out of me. They couldn't separate my brain injury from my psychosis. My memory issues have nothing to do with my depression.

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OK an explaination of why I haven't posted on here in months yet again. Frankly I've just been lazy about it. Nearly everyone that I used to follow via blog has stopped blogging. I no longer feel the desperate urge to tell everyone what I'm doing. Mostly because I haven't been doing a whole lot. I did end up in the hospital in December and since then I've been so damn tired it isn't funny. Yeah I was tired before but I'm back into one of those pits of tired that just won't go away. I NEED the weather to clear up so I can go outside even for a few minutes and see the sun. I can't take all this damn rain lately.

I have been knitting lately though. One of my brothers has a baby due in June. I've made her one BSJ and a blanket that are finished. I have two more sweaters that are in the works. I kind of stalled on the little ballerina wrap because I started the blanket and then my mom wanted a sweater for my cousin's baby. I made her another plain BSJ. I have another larger one that I started but quit when I saw just how big it was going to be. That one will be finished eventually. Currently I'm working on a Tomten. I'm to the point of weaving together the hood. I made the hook larger than what the book said to because when I put it on my baby doll the hood wasn't long enough to cover the doll's head. Now I need to find my dpns so that I can start the sleeves. I really don't even know where my larger (bigger than sock) dpns have gotten to. I really need to hire merry maids to come clean my house out. lol

Guess who's back, back again

And now I have Slim Shady stuck in my head. And I just realized I completely forgot what I said last time I posted, so I'mma gonna go read for a minute. OK, I'm back.

Nick is still doing really well at school. He is still participating and mostly staying out of trouble. His biggest problem is staying awake in the morning. I think it more has to do with him staying awake for 2 hours after bed time yapping at himself. I've been having him take Melatonin but it doesn't always do the trick. He did have a bit of trouble a few weeks ago but he had an excuse and I think he controlled himself pretty well. You see, I was in the hospital. It's the first time he has had to deal with a big illness and he didn't get to see me while I was in the hospital. But he explained to his teachers what was going on and really did a good job of stepping back when he got upset.

Yeah the big news that happened since the last time was me ending up in the ER and then being admitted a few days later. I missed 3 1/2 days of work. Heck, I have yet to work a full weekend since before Thanksgiving. Anyways, on the 28th I went to work in some serious pain. I couldn't do anything without wanting to cry but I couldn't afford to miss work. Well by 3pm I was in so much pain I was crying so I left. My folks didn't seem to think there was a problem and sent me home with Nick. I took some pain pills and later took a nap. When I woke up at about 7:30 with a fever of 104.8. I called the help nurse at the clinic I go to and she recommended I head to the ER. Called my folks and Dad took me in while Mom took Nick back to their place so he could get some sleep. Had a bunch of blood work done and they said massive UTI. I did one bag of fluids with antibiotics in it and was sent home at about 2:30am with a scrip for more antibiotics. I spent the next two days only moving enough to take the kid to school and bring him home. Wednesday morning I was still in so much pain I called my urologist with the intent to ask for a pass for the weekend because it was my kidney stones causing the UTI and back pain.

Well the doc starts looking at my chart and discovers that the ER had tried to call me the day before to recommend I be admitted for a day due to bacteria growing in my blood! Doc ordered me to the hospital asap. I had originally intended to just call my mom to let her know I was heading to the hospital but I broke down and freaked. The last time I was in the hospital was when I had Nick and that was 1999. Mom ended up taking me in and I spent the next 3 days on IV antibiotics. I had two surgeries done. First was to insert two stents to help the kidney stones gtfo of there so they would stop blocking things up and causing the UTI and pain. That was on Wednesday within like 2 hours of being admitted. On Friday I had one of the stents removed and the doc used a laser to blast the hell out of my stones. I finally got to go home that night but I still didn't get to see Nick until Saturday afternoon. He spent the next week hugging me and telling me he loved me. :) He missed his momma. I had the other stent removed in the office about 10 days after I got out of the hospital. Not a real comfortable procedure. I recommend being knocked out for it if your insurance will cover it.

Well, since this whole mess I have been one tired chick. OK, so I am normally pretty tired but I've been really tired since I got out. I'm no longer peeing blood and no longer feeling any stone pain, which is good. What sucks is that the snow and cold showed up while I was in the hospital. And of course my snowblower doesn't want to work. The belt that runs the blades slips and only works when it wants to. So I've been having to shovel the drive myself. Most of the time I feel like I just went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. It feels like the palms of my hands are bruised but there is nothing there.

And, of course, the neighbors are still refusing to shovel at all. I ended up yelling and, regrettably, swearing at one of her kids for climbing on one of the piles of snow next to my drive and tossing snow all over the place. The snow in the driveway has been the only thing I've been able to control lately and here was the kid of someone making that more difficult just destroying my drive again. I was livid. I've been stewing about the whole driveway ordeal and I just exploded. I don't even remember what I said to the kids. It was either "shit" or "damn" but I was so mad I don't remember what I said. It makes me feel about half an inch tall thinking about it. I know there is no excuse but I've been having my ass kicked by the snow. I'm constantly in large amounts of pain from shoveling and they twit next door just plows right through the snow and refuses to shovel. Hell when they can, they drive through the end of my side of the drive and onto their side because they are too lazy to shovel where the plow has buried the end of the drive. She has lived there at least 4 years and I've only seen her shovel 3 times. This is Iowa. It's not unusual to have to shovel 3 times in one DAY when it's snowing bad unless you want to wait and have it take you 2 hours to shovel the drive when it stops. sigh I know I need to let it go but it's hard to keep my side clear when her side is full of snow and she doesn't give a crap if the snow ends up on my side when she drives across it.

But in good news, I did finish the shawl I started last month. It's quite small and I really want to a larger one in thicker yarn at some point. I'll be using beads instead of doing nups though. I hate nups. And what is cool is that I used yarn that my friend Summer sent me for the little shawl and Summer sent me some of her handspun as a pick-me-up gift and I'm knitting a scarf from it. It's the Moon River Scarf available free on Rav. I deleted 2 repeats of the pattern on the scarf because it was getting too wide. It's a very easy pattern and I'm loving my first chance at knitting with handspun.

I've got all the Christmas shopping done thanks mostly to our annual Christmas bonus card for Wal-Mart. I ended up overdrawn on my checking account though thanks to a huge ass heating bill. I got used to maybe a $70 bill but the last one was $189 and it wiped out my checking account just as my internet and phone bills came in. Thankfully my check was deposited the next day so I'm back in the black. I'm going to have to try and work some overtime after the new year to make up the $75 in overdraft charges though. Oh and yes, I called the gas company and I'm now on an even payment plan. I think it's something like $52 a month. Much, much better. I'm already on even pay for my light bill because of a huge unexpected bill when it was so hot this summer. And in other shitty financial news, I got picked up the Monday after I got out of the hospital for expired tags. Had to borrow money from my folks to pay for new tags but I still have to pay the fine yet. I want to talk to the judge and hopefully only pay court costs but the weather has been so bad I haven't been able to get into town for traffic court. I really hate this time of year. Really and truly hate it.

I'm depressing myself here so I'll quit. Suffice it to say I will be doing my taxes the moment I get my W-2 from work. I need to go cash in the scratch off winner that my supervisor gave me ($1) and get me a lottery ticket. My luck has got to change sooner or later.

hmmmm

Not going to try and explain. I have no good excuse.

Finally got the monkey diagnosed with mild PDD and mild ADD. He has been on medication since school started. He stopped throwing things and throwing tantrums but was still screaming at his teachers regularly. We added on another medicine and holy crap! I have a happy kid again. One that actually likes school and can play dodge ball without having a meltdown. He is still having some issues but he is finally getting good marks on his behavior.

And the biggest change lately? I'm actually knitting a lace shawl! I'm knitting the Knitty pattern Annis in some lovely green lace yarn that my friend Summer sent me ages ago. It's been ages since I've felt the pull of the yarn and I like it.

I added a little widget over there ---->

It links to all the things that I liked on google reader. I had to make the switch over to google reader after bloglines shut down. I like reader so much better. It's much easier to load on dial-up because you only open one post at a time and not every single new and saved post from a feed. I have a tendency to get a bit behind on some of the busier feeds. big shocker :P

OK, time to go get monkey moving a bit. We had a 2 hour delay due to fog this morning and the boy needs to get dressed and eat something.

wheeeeeeeee

Yarn Knitting by ~IllusionEvenstar on deviantART

ehehehehe Finally combining my two loves. hehe Now if only Snape was in there too. He would probably be lurking in the shadows with a pair of scissors. lmao

gobble gobble

see more puppies

I am so full of turkey and stuffing I just want to sleep!!

I've noticed quite a few visitors to the blog so I figured I better stop in and update. :)

Things have been fairly good with the kid and me. Finances are pretty tight and I haven't even begun to shop for Christmas. *sigh* Dad has given me the month of December free of charge so that should help.

Other family things have been a bit strained. Little sister Kelly (ok all of my sisters would be younger than me lol but Kelly is the youngest of all of us) ran her car into the back of a feed truck last Friday. She messed up her right side real good. 4 1/2 hours of surgery that night to put her elbow and arm back to rights and then more surgery Sunday to put her ankle to rights. She also broke several ribs and bruised her lung pretty good. She is home now with her folks and her mom is taking good care of her.

Sunday, little brother Nick (once again all my brothers are younger (yeah I'm the oldest) but he is the youngest of the boys) got word that one of his buddies was in a car accident. He unfortunately wasn't as lucky as our sister and didn't make it. Nick is quite upset because he has had a lot of people killed or hurt severely in car accidents. Present company included. But his is dealing and we have made tentative plans for him to come visit me next week. I WILL be taking pictures of my cute as a button niece. I got to talk to her on the phone last night and OMG the cuteness nearly did me in. He is gonna be lucky to get her back out the door. hehe

I'm knitting again a little bit. I've got 2 cowls going. My own patterns. I have no real clue what the yarn is I'm using on the one. Is a bulky weight boucle in baby pink. The other is in two shades of pink in some Caron yarns. I don't have em in front of me so I dunno for sure which but prolly Simply Soft. I'm also knitting a 2x2 rib scarf in Lion Brand Thick & Quick in black for the kid. It will match his new coat well. My hands haven't been cooperating for much knitting.

Ok, to share a little nummy with you. If you like hot guys and don't mind if they do too, lol, there is a blog here on blogger that might trip your trigger. I won't link to it but you should be able to search for it easily enough. It's called the daily slab. Be forward that there are many XXX pictures on there on a regular basis and I have yet to see a woman on there. Just saying. heh I would say the guys are dressed about half the time though.

Ok, now I need to get back to my story. It's called Chocolate Enchantment by Vivian B. and can be found on GrangerEnchanted.com. It's a little steamy but alas not as lemony as I like. hehe


more animals

Yeah!!!

The stealth kitting???

She is done!!!

She is knit, knat, bound off and yarn cut!!! Off the needles!!!!

I need to do a little cleaning and moving in the living room and then she will be blocking in front of the tv. I think it would fit on the bed but well I don't want to get going only to realize it is too long. I'll of course take some pictures.

But you can't see them. :P Well not yet anyway. lol

After I show it off at the fiber guild meeting on Wednesday I have to pack it up and ship it off. Once it's new momma has seen it, I'll post pictures and tell y'all about it.

Mr. Nicky had an eventful weekend. He got to go on a plane ride on Saturday. He was thrilled. I was surprised that he wasn't the least bit nervous. My folks took him and he asked the pilot lots of questions before hand. Mom said that most were kind of goofy. But well he is my kid and all. lol He went up for a short ride in a little 4 seat Cessna. Call me a chicken but I don't think I could have done it. lol I was on a plane once when I was about a year old. I haven't flown again. Where I to win the lottery, I might relent and fly to Hawaii or Alaska. I really want to go on an Alaska cruise.

Ok, off to figure out which of my shawls I'm going to work on. I've got 4 or 5 of them left to work on. LOL

FO

I've been knitting. I present Nick's Fake Isle Hat. :)


It's not perfect, but I like it. I saved off this pattern quite a while ago. It's been a long time since I've made a hat though. When the kid got ready for school on Wednesday we realized he had a hole in his hat. So I cast on for this one. I didn't work on it at all this weekend thanks to work. So really it only took me about 2 days of knitting off and on. Not too bad for me. hehe

I am a dork

Man life gets away from me sometimes.

Ok where to try and catch up. The tummy troubles continue. I think I know what part of the stress is coming from. It's a bit of a sore subject for me. Suffice it to say there is someone I care about that is involved with someone else. No I'm not having an affair, physically or emotionally. I just have to let go of things and let them be what they will.

After much whining and psycho fits on my part, I did in fact head downtown to attend the fiber guild meeting. Mom had to talk me into it. I just completely panicked and did not want to go. I got down there and I guess there was some sort of mix up with the key for the hall. Everyone stood outside for about 20 minutes and left. I played stalker and sat in the car trying to get up the nerve to talk to them. lol When they left I went home.

Skip ahead to this past Friday. I took the day off work because Nick had off from school. On a whim I called the owner of Huacaya Moon to see if she would be open that night. Turns out she was on her way in. The shop is mostly only open Fridays and Saturdays and only when she isn't on the road for shows. It was a damn dark night to be driving out into the wilds of Iowa. The stretch of road from Dubuque down to Bellevue is not heavily populated or traveled and the brights on my car are not working right now. Nancy turned out to be a total doll though. She has lots of yummy yarns and spinning fibers. She is a big time spinner too. I picked up a couple books and 2 skeins of yarn. It's Madil Kid Seta in a really lovely shade of moss green (#470). I promise to take pics tomorrow. It's 70% Super Kid Mohair and 30% Seta/Silk. Sooo soft and fuzzy. I'm thinking either a smoke ring or some sort of head scarf for lil ole me. One of the books is a "How To" for spindle spinning. Nancy has also offered to help me get started learning.

I've also got a bunch of other new stuff here. I got a Just Because prize from the Secret of the Stole. Lots of cute little stuff that I'll detail tomorrow. I got some yarn and needles from Knit Picks too. 5 skeins of Gossamer in the Blue Jeans colorway. I got 4 more sets of needle tips and 3 or 4 more sets of cables. I just love the Options needles. Plus now that my Addi dealer is off of eBay it's much too expensive to keep buying those.

I finally finished the first clue of the Halloween Mystery shawl, Dracula's Bride. (pictures tomorrow) I've finished another couple rows of the Galveston shawl. I've got about 5 1/2 rows to go in total before the edge. I got some cheapy yarn from Wal-Mart and I'm working on some scarves for Mom and my sil. It they don't get done, no biggie. I am not planning any other Christmas knitting save for one mystery project.

I can't think of anything else to share at the moment. I think I'll go knit for a bit.

Yawn

I had another bad night last night. I actually hurt my throat during the mess. Everything swelled up inside and it felt like I was choking. I'm starting to think the tummy troubles and lack of sleep are all in my head. Someday I'm going to make a therapist very very rich when he/she writes a book about my nutso self. lmao I think I'm going to dig out my sleeping pills and start taking them at about 8pm and forcing myself to go to bed no later than 10pm.

I worked at the kitchen today. I only went in an extra half hour more than usual but I swear it feels like I worked 10 hours. I did manage to get 5 hours of sleep last night so that is only part of it. I only actually washed dishes for maybe an hour and a half. The rest of the time I was helping in the kitchen. Spraying off the dishes was not fun since the food kept making me want to upchuck. hehe With the swelling in my throat I already was feeling like I was half ready to puke. Add in peoples mushed up messy left overs.

I got my partner's name for secret Santa at work today. Let's just say I'm not terribly fond of the woman that I got. I have no clue what to buy her but I do know, I'm not making her shit. I have no clue what to put up on the list for suggestions for myself. I know I'm going to put down that I don't want jewelry of any kind. I can't wear pierced earrings anymore. The holes have closed up on my left ear and trying to put in an earring is very painful. Think I'll put down anything to do with wolves or sci-fi books. Not going to ask for a gift certificate to a craft store cause frankly Hobby Lobby and Michael's just don't do it for me. Although I do like the bead section at Michael's. I need to visit Beads and Beyond again soon though. hehe

Also got some good news from Mom today. She is going to watch Nick tomorrow night so I can attend the fiber guild meeting. :O) She is going to come over here. Which sort of sucks cause it means I have to clean all day tomorrow. hehe But I actually get to get out of the house on my own and spend time with other adults that love fibre as much as I do. I'm going to take a long a couple of my finished shawls. I'll take along the Halloween shawl and the Galveston shawl to work on. I'm hoping to have the first clue of the Halloween shawl done before I go tomorrow and I'll post some pictures. I'm kind of nervous about going to the meeting but I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully I won't get some pushy woman telling me I knit all wrong and have her taking my needles away to show me how wrong I am. hehe I know I don't knit in the conventional way, but I had to learn from a cd-rom. Plus the cd showed the woman knitting with the yarn in her right hand and until last year I just couldn't get the hang of that. I hold the yarn in my left hand the way I do for crocheting.

Ok, I'm gonna go browse on Ravelry some. See if I can't find another long thread I can get lost again in. I keep finding big fights that just suck me in. I've only posted a couple times and so far no one has responded to me, but I don't mind. It's sort of how I roll on Yahoo groups too. hehe I'm Froddopsycho on there btw. Just in case anyone was wondering and wants to friend me. :OP

I have progress!!

But first, I'm sitting here giggling like mad. I'm watching a show on pbs. They just had some guy singing a song in Spanish that was all about the heart. He was describing in great detail how the heart works but it sounded like a love song. The video was mostly animations of a heart working and some very very old footage of hearts. The translation of the song was overlayed onto the screen. I completely fell apart when he started singing "lub-a-dub, lub-a-dub." hehehehe If you didn't know what he was singing about it sounded like a perfectly lovely love song. but knowing what he was actually saying made it hilarious. lol

And now proof of progress:

I've finally finished the second clue of the Autumn mystery shawl. Renee has already released the final clue and also the name. It is called Lughnasadh. Yeah, I can't pronounce it either. hehe It's the name of a Gaelic festival that has to do with the harvest.

Here is a close up of the right side.

And one of the left.

The final shawl is going to be very pretty. I do so wish I could find some of the yarns that I saw some of the other members used though. Some had very very long color changes. Maybe 20 or so rows of one color before the next starts. I think when I get my dye kit I'll try and do some sort of really long color changes. I just paid for the kit, so hopefully I'll have it soon.

Ok, I'm off to work on the Halloween shawl. I want to try and finish the first clue. It's another really pretty pattern. I so love all the shawls that Renee has released at Goddessknits.com.

Pictures!!

Warning!! This is a picture heavy post. hehe

I finally got my butt in gear and took pictures of my latest WIPs.

The Autumn Mystery shawl from GoddessKnits.com that started on 9-15.


Yeah, I've only got clue 1 done. I actually finished it like 2 weeks ago but didn't get around to taking pictures of it. Working the two jobs just hasn't left me much time to work on it and the printer was broken and I wasn't able to print the second clue. But I have printed it out and I'm gonna start on clue 2 in just a bit.


The Galveston mystery shawl. I'm still about 10 rows away from starting the edging.


Here is a close up of the last clue. Can ya see how close I am to finishing the darn thing? lol Just gotta close the diamond up and it's on to the edge.


The Halloween Mystery shawl from GoddessKnits.com. I've gotten 34 rows of the first clue done. There are a total of 80 rows. :O( Clue 2 just came out. I'm a lil behind. hehe


A close up of the center section.


And a closeup of the side. It's a half round shawl. First time for this sort of construction and I'm liking it. It's hard to see the beads, but they are a see-through purple. I really love how they match the shawl.

Not sure why, but my left hand is causing me some troubles today. I do have a pair of craft gloves and I'm going to see if wearing one on my left hand will help. Cause I really want to do some knitting tonight. I might even pick up the Swan Lake mystery stole for a bit. lol

Yes I'm still alive

I'm not feeling terribly lively, but alive none the less. The sleep is still not coming easily. Even when I'm super tired. I've also been in quite a bit of pain lately. Last week sometime, I tweaked my left hip. Now I'm waking up already in pain and without serious pain pills, I can barely walk. Unfortunately the pills leave me a lil on the tipsy side. I'm safe enough at work, but the driving part has got me a little iffy. So, no pill until I'm at work and no pill after lunch. No matter how much it hurts. But thankfully, the pills last about 6 hours.

Still no pictures of knitting. I've been tired and it's been icky around here. Hard to take pictures when the lighting sucks rocks. I may have to build some sort of light box one of these days. It doesn't help that the light bulbs in the house have a yellow cast to them. And the sheet I take pictures on is beige. So accurate color is hard to come by.

I've started on the halloween mystery shawl. I'm using the purple yarn I dyed for a past mystery. I really wanted to wait on the red PureWool but it could be weeks before it gets here. Actually, I just wanted to know why everyone was having such a hell of a time with it. I'm only done through row 13, but so far no troubles. I need to find some beads before I get much farther.

Yes, I've signed up for Ravelry. No, I haven't gotten my invite yet. I was way slow in signing up. A certain someone tempted me by letting me sign in using her ID and look around. There are 10,832 people in line ahead of me. It's gonna be awhile. hehe

Head over to MochiMochiLand.com and check out the free patterns. I had to cast on for Bob. I'm using some mystery yarn in a blue color. I've got his snout done so far. No comments please on the fact that I've cast on 2 new projects without finishing anything. hehe

I have been trucking along on the Galveston shawl. I've almost got another pattern row done. This one is over 900 stitches. Very slow going. I'm off work tomorrow and I'm going to try and knock off at least 2 rows. I've got laundry to do and dishes but I think I should be able to fit in lots of knitting in between that and napping. hehe

I've noticed something strange lately. At least once or twice a day, I get an instant message on Yahoo from a male in the middle east. Some are quite friendly and some are down right strange. Yesterday I had a guy who claimed to be a dentist asking me lots of questions about my dental health. Very very strange. I'm just a magnet for weirdness.

Ok, I'm gonna go lay down for a few minutes. I wish I could just go to bed for the night but that would not be a good thing. hehe

I suck

I promised pictures. . . . . I haven't touched the camera other than to move it out of my way.

I promised a surprise. . . . . I haven't worked on it at all.

I have knit a bit though. I've got 12 rows left of the body on the Galveston shawl. The row I'm currently working on has 898 stitches. Each row has an additional 8 stitches. Each row takes a very long time. lol

I haven't started clue 2 of the Autumn shawl yet. I did download the clue. And I've looked at the finished pics. But I haven't knit it yet. I haven't touched the Swan Lake stole or Etain. Or any of my other projects on the needles or hooks.

I got my stitches out this morning. Doc said my cut looks great. I had expected it to hurt a little, but there was hardly any discomfort at all. I just have to watch it for a few days to make sure an infection doesn't develop.

I spent the morning at Mom's trying to fill out an application online for some insurance. Their server kept taking a shit on me. Only the first page would save. There are like 10 pages. So in the morning I have to call the 800 number and see if I can just fax one pay stub that was missing in the first place or fill out the app that I printed and fax that.

While messing with that, I downloaded a program that lets you snag videos off of YouTube. I also downloaded a nifty little program that lets you watch the flv files on your pc easily. So I now have about 5 videos about Alan Rickman on my flash drive. hehe He is just too damn hot. I have got to see Snow Cake. I downloaded a preview of it and omg, he is just awesome.

Nick got his cast off this afternoon. He was very nervous at first. He was afraid is arm was going to hurt. After the nurse left after removing the cast, he asked if he was getting another one. He got upset when I said no. After he moved it around a bit though he realized that his arm wasn't going to be all wiggly like when he broke it. I guess he remembers more of the pain than he has let on. The doc says that his arm looks really good and is healing well.

Nick has to sit out PE and recess for the next 2 weeks. He is not happy about that. We had a long talk about how he has got to be very careful for the next few weeks. No running and jumping and no bouncing on the bed. I think I got through to him that he has to be careful that he doesn't hit his arm on anything.

We made a short visit out to my folk's house so they could see his poor lil skinny arm. The muscles have really disappeared big time. The skin looks real icky right now. Lots of dead skin. We have told him not to pick at it. I put lots of lotion on his arm after he soaked in the tub for awhile. The doc says the skin should look more normal in a week.

I'm having some very annoying pc problems. I think it has more to do with the fact that it has been on all day long. Lately I've been having to shut it off a lot. I can't leave it sit powered up for more than 2 hours without using it or it will lock up. The only thing I can do when it locks up is to flip the switch in the back. Well today I have been at the pc every hour or so, so I haven't had to shut it down. I think it is just being cranky. lol

Kind of reminds me of my body. I am soo tired. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get. I'm still beat. The alarm actually went off this morning for 15 minutes before I heard it. Granted it was on the floor and partially covered by a shirt and it isn't very loud. But still. 15 minutes!!! And I got no nap today. I was too busy doing stuff today.

Ok, I need to hit the sack. I've got stuff to do tomorrow before I go wash dishes. Not to mention I need to get the house cleaned up. Turns out there may be an inspection next week. gggggaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh I hate inspections. Plus, I need to find the envelope that has my new credit cards in it. I have a bad feeling I threw it away thinking it was an application for a new card. sigh And I'm almost out of checks. So pretty soon I will have no way to pay my dang bills. lol Wonder if the phone company takes PayPal. lmao j/k

I'm ok, U'r ok

Well varying degrees of ok anyway. lol

BTW this happens to be my 400th post. Pretty scary if ya ask me.

I finished the first clue of the current autumn mystery shawl from GoddessKnits. The thought of setting up for pictures and then connecting the camera just makes me wanna cry. I am Tired.

I took a nap today but it wasn't quite enough. Shoot I even laid down again a little while ago and fell asleep for a few minutes. I am not really all that psyched up for work tomorrow. At least Bluto won't be there. hehe He won't be back from a trip with his girlfriend until sometime tomorrow night. The man just makes me want to smack him half the time.

The elbow is fine and dandy. it looks like it is healing just fine. No scabs and not obvious infection. Hopefully the nurse will be pleased on Monday when I get my stitches out. The kid's arm is doing fine. I do believe he gets his cast off on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to him not having an excuse to make annoying noises with his cast.

Once again he got in trouble for making noise during class today. He has not had one day this week where he didn't get in trouble. He was already warned that if he didn't behave himself at school that he wouldn't be going to the school festival. So he gets to spend the day at his Nana's house with no tv or computer instead of getting to play games. We are having a really difficult time getting him to behave at school. He doesn't seem to care if we take away his tv and computer. I'm about to take all his toys away too.

I've got a secret project I'm working on. I'll be ready to share it with y'all next week. I need to get some pictures taken and get some links together before I can really share it.

For now, I'm going to go find something to munch on and then hit the sack. Have I mentioned that I HATE getting up at 4:30 in the morning?? lmao

I R Slow

And tired too.

Here is my war wound.



Yeah I know it's pretty small and I am a wuss. lol Well I did go back to work afterwards. Most everyone I have talked to in the last few days asked if I got to go home. lol

Not much interesting going on around here. Fixed the plug on my son's vcr and snatched it for my own room. They messed around with the times for some of my favorite day time shows and I need 2 vcrs in order to record them now. hehe Don't feel to sorry for the kid about losing his vcr. It isn't like he has a tv in his room anymore. I still haven't bought a new tv for the living room so his is still out there. When he complained about losing his tv, I reminded him that I bought that tv a good 7 years before he was born. lol

I started on the Autumn mystery shawl from GoddessKnits.com. I've only got 30 rows done so far, so no pics yet. I'm using Fiddlesticks Knitting Country Silk in Spice. They no longer have the colorway that Renee was using but she recommended this one. I'm not totally in love with the yarn to tell ya the truth. When I wound the ball and took it off the winder, I actually broke the tail of the yarn off. I'm gonna have to be careful with this yarn. It's 50% wool, 30% silk and 20% nylon and 800m per 250g. Much thicker than what I usually use on shawls.

I've completed another row or two on the Galveston shawl. Not enough for progress pics yet. I haven't touched Etain aka the last mystery shawl. Nor have I been working on Swan Lake. Just too tired. In fact, I would love to take another nap just about now. Unfortunately, it is time for me to get ready to go get the munchkin from school. Cross your fingers that he behaved himself today.

Feeling guilty

Yup, I've been ignoring y'all. I'm a baaaaad girl. If there were someone here to spank me for it, I would let them. Ok, so maybe I might enjoy that just a lil bit too much for it to be punishment. lmao

Today was my first day off of work without the kid around in almost 2 weeks. And what did I do with my day? I slept of course. lol I've been so tired lately it isn't funny. Not very unusual for me though. Tomorrow I have off work too. But, the kid will be home. We are going to spend the day cleaning and doing art projects.

We just got back from Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree. We picked up a bunch of art supplies. I got two scrap booking type storage drawer units to house it all. The kid is an awesome artist in my estimation. I may be a bit biased, but I swear he is good.




He drew these all on his own. I had nothing to do with it. All I did was scan them and sharpen the images. You can see more of his sketches at my other Flickr account. The kid draws better than I do.

There has been knitting. I've put aside the apricot mystery shawl called Etain. I'm very close to finishing the second clue, but I discovered something the other day. I am on the last clue before the edging of the purple Galveston shawl!! I'm actually halfway through the clue too. Row 18 of 34. I am tickled beyond all get out. So, I'm going to concentrate on finishing this one.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to be starting the next 2 mystery shawls from GoddessKnits or the Secret of the Stole KAL. God damn I'm weak. lmao I've got the yarn for the fall themed mystery from GK. I just paid for the yarn for the Halloween mystery shawl. It should be here within a month. I'm not too worried about keeping up cause I know I'm not going to. In the same order, I've got 3 more colors of yarn to chose from for the SoS.

I swear tomorrow I'll take some pictures of the yarn I've bought in the last couple months that I haven't talked about. There hasn't been much but still I should have posted pics. I've got 4 colors of Purewool laceweight ordered. Basically they are not solid colors but not variegated. I ordered 2 skeins each of a blue, green, brown and red. The red will be for the Halloween shawl. Any of the other 3 should work for the theme of the SoS. Or I just may go with the yellow lace weight I have in my stash. I'm thinking it might be Purewool too. I will have to dig it out to be sure. But it is the same yarn as what I'm using on the Galveston shawl but a diff color of course.

And I just started a new crochet project. When we were at the Dollar Tree, I picked up 3 finger towels with Halloween appliques on them. I'm going to make them into refrigerator towels for my mom. I've almost got the attaching row done on the first one and then it won't take much time at all to finish. Hopefully, she will like them.

Ok, I'm off to try and get some work done. I've got so many projects going that it isn't funny and I need to get some done. I swear from this moment, only the projects I'm signed up for already will be cast on. No other new projects. It's time to finish some stuff. Yeah right! lmao

Knitting update

I've finally finished clue 1 of Mystery Shawl 4. Yep, last clue was released last Saturday. And I just finished the first clue. I'm a knitting putz.

I should have put it on longer circs cause I didn't have enough slack to block it out at all. As it is, it is already 19 inches across.



Here is a close up of one section of the shawl.



And a close up of the center of the shawl.



I think the center is just too pretty.

I've already started the second clue. Ok, so only one row almost done but still.

Btw, the reason for the bobby pin in the first picture? There was a section of yarn that was kind of icky. The silk ply looked like someone had gotten it wet and coated it with dust. It was thick and gross looking. I didn't notice it until I had gotten back around on the next row. It took me a few times of picking at it to get all the gunk out. Now it just looks a little dusty/dirty. I'm sure a good wash when I'm done will clear the rest of it up.

Clarification

I need to clarify some things.

The married guy at work, let's call him TJ, is not some dirty old man or anything. TJ is about 25 and has been married for about 5 years. He has a 4 yr old and a 6 month old. He loves his wife to no end.

We just like to flirt with each other and talk about sex and lots of other mundane type stuff. We don't go into great detail about any of the naughty stuff. It's all just your basic flirting stuff.

I only mentioned it because it sort of shocked me when he admitted to having a crush on me. And he seriously looked embarrassed that I knew what he had signed to me. I think he was just goofing and didn't think I would know what he was saying.

And when I said I wasn't interested in him, I was talking about in actually doing anything. I totally enjoy talking and flirting with him. But I am in no way attracted to him. He is a skinny guy and I like my guys chubby. Well not to mention the whole married thing. That is all a big ole turn off. lol

But seriously, there is nothing to worry about. I'm just a natural flirt and I have to remember not to cross any lines because he is such a nice guy.

On the knitting front, I am getting closer to finishing clue 1 of the new mystery shawl. No need to bore you with pictures until it is done. I ordered some yarn the other day and it should be here next Tuesday. So I'll have some pics for ya then. I just put in an order for some dyes too. It is a small kit of autumn colored dyes. I have no clue when that will be here. Not that I don't have enough to keep me busy on the whole yarn front anyway.

Oh, did I tell ya that I got a drop spindle?? Haven't quite figured out how to use it yet. It came with instructions, but well I learn better from seeing something done. Which is why I couldn't figure out knitting until I got a cd-rom that showed how to do it. I'll have to take it over to Mom's and see if I can find some videos on YouTube. Cable is a must for watching videos. hehe

Ok, time to go make some lunch. Then more knitting on MS4.

I'm cursed

CURSED I TELL YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spent the morning trying not to just completely loose it. My pc was on all night and when I went to use it this morning it wouldn't respond. Ok, no biggie. I restarted. Google desktop had updated itself and when I signed on it was loading stuff up. And then my mouse and keyboards wouldn't work.

I restarted the pc again. Things were ok for a few minutes. And then no mouse and keyboard. gggggggrrrrrrr

I restarted yet again. Things appeared to be fine. I started downloading a game from that Giveaway a Day place. I'll look up the link later for y'all. Anyway, everything was sort of stuck and I figured the pc was just being slow. So off to the showers for me while the download proceeded.

I get out of the shower and everything is still stuck. #$%#$ OK, so I restart. It decides that we need to start in safe mode. Ok, no problem. It gives me the option to restore it. So I restore to last night. It starts up and says that there is a corrupt file. It's the system file. #*^#^%@

Soooooooooo.... I get out my system disk and attempt to do a repair. Unfortunately, the computer isn't seeing my main hard drive. AT ALL! I try several times to do a repair and it still will not see my damn hard drive. wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

So I unplug everything on my pc and pull it out of the desk. I opened it up and checked out the hard drives. They were pretty hot. But I guess the computer had been running for a few days so that is to be expected. I pop the drives back in and plugged them back in. Closed it up and attached all the wires again.

This time everything started up with no problems at all. WTF???? I have very little information saved to this hard drive, so if I have to reformat it eventually, it won't be that big of a deal. I'm thinking I may need to add another fan to the case. I'm thinking that I may have knocked the wires loose on the main hard drive when I tilted the pc to mess with the mouse wires.

I need to find my product code and install my antivirus software again. Yeah, I've been running unprotected for awhile. I like to live dangerously. LOL Actually, I read all my mail online and only occasionally use IncrediMail to send stuff. I don't use Outlook for anything. It isn't even set up. So, it would be pretty hard for me to spread a virus on to anyone.

I think what I need is a nap. But I slept late today. Maybe I just got too much sleep. It stormed last night and woke me up and I kept having weird dreams. Kept dreaming about a couple guys from work. I don't really talk to the one and I don't know much about him. He has a great smile though. lol The other one I flirt with constantly just to make him wonder what the hell is goin on. But the truth be told, I'm not attracted to him at all and he is married to boot. He is just easy to mess with. hehe It's been making me realize that I'm lonely though. It's been a while since I've even thought about finding myself a significant other. I've just been happy to be on my own with the kid. Oh well.

I actually knitted a row on the mystery stole. It's the most knitting I've done in awhile. I'm going to go with the symmetrical version. I just don't think the variegated yarn would look right on the wing. I think it would be cool to make a double winged version some time with the undyed Pony 2-ply that I've got. Just have to wait for Melanie to release the finished pattern so I can buy it. hehe

Ok, time to go make some lunch. Mom is dropping off the rest of Nick's school stuff at one and then I'm going to go register him for classes. Oh yippy, spending more money on stuff not related to yarn. sniff sniff

Update

Firstly, the kid is doing great. It only took about 10-15 minutes for the doc to get his arm set and get his cast on. We were at the hospital for about 3 1/2 hours total. Most of the time was spent getting him to go to sleep and then waking him back up.

He has a cast from his hand all the way up to near his arm pit. He says it is pretty heavy but that is because it is a plaster cast. Mom and Dad already beat me to signing his cast. He has a bigger sling on now too. It is making it much easier on him. This one doesn't keep sliding off and it is padded on the strap.

He had a bit of a tummy ache this afternoon, but his Nana brought him some white soda to settle his belly. He was just out in the living room singing his lil head off. So I guess it is safe to say he is feeling much better.

I haven't finished clue 1 on MS4 just yet. Here it is done up to row 32.



I've got it on a huge KnitPicks needle. I ordered some smaller cables but they are taking forever to process the order. I'm using Zephyr in Apricot on size 4s. I'm really liking how this yarn is looking and the fabric that I'm getting.

And now an update on MS3. Here is a closeup of how the colors are changing.



There is a lot more color variation there than I though there would be. I thought it would be just brown to blue and back. But there are several variations on the blue color in there and the color changes aren't as even as I though.



I'm up to row 242. I've got a long long way to go before I get caught up to everyone. Clue 5 comes out tomorrow and Melanie promises that it is going to be a big surprise. She is also going to reveal the theme. I'm going to have to wait until after work tomorrow in order to find out what is going on. I wish I had a fancy phone that I could download stuff off the internet. Then I could sneak a look at lunchtime. hehehe

Next week I'm really going to try harder to get some quality knitting done. I did get about 2 or 3 rows done on the Galveston shawl today while we were at the hospital. It looks exactly the same anyway, so I didn't take a picture of it. hehe