It's confirmed

I'm not crazy.

Well ok maybe but the whole being tired all the time. It's not all in my head.

I've been to the doctor so many times in the last couple weeks it's scary. Actually they did have me pretty scared there for a minute. Went in and had bloodwork done and within an hour I had a nurse calling me up and asking if I was feeling ok. Insisted that I come in and see the on-call doctor that afternoon. The only thing she told me was that my hemoglobin was really low. Yeah, don't search for that on webmd. Just don't.

So, normal hemoglobin level is about 12. People normally start feeling ill when it drops to 8. I've had three tests in the last week. My numbers were 6.5, 5.9, and 6.1. My doctor was on vacation when he got the first numbers and was shocked. Said it was a testament to how tough I am that I'm still functioning mostly normally. If you hemoglobin level were to fall to my levels quickly, you would be on the way to the ER.

I'm loading up on replacements and getting my levels rechecked.I'm on a high dose of iron twice a day. I'm taking B-12 every day. My levels were kinda low on B but not scary low. I'm also on a massive dose of vitamin D once a week. I've got the levels of an 80 yr old apparently. Ooops!

All my other bloodwork was fine. No arthritis. Doc says low iron levels and low vitamin D levels can cause joint pain. This means they have been low for a very long time.I hadn't had my bloodwork done in at least 5 years.

It's fucking scary that low iron can cause so many troubles. Even though I've been taking the pills for a couple weeks, I was also hit by a heavy period. So I have taken a week off of work to rest. I got super dizzy on Monday and really didn't want to pass out at work. They have to call an ambulance and even though we are a block from the hospital it would still be a huge bill that I don't need. I explained to my boss what was going on and she went through some of the same stuff about 10 years ago. Good to have a boss that won't give me shit about taking off.

So yeah, still tired as all hell. Still having bad headaches. My joints still fucking hurt.

But it's not in my head. And I'm taking my meds and trying to drink lots of water. I'm hoping a week of resting will help.

And I have appointments with specialists coming up. Second week of Sept. I'm seeing a neurologist about the headaches. And I've got an appointment with a gyn to see about telling aunt flo to fuck off. I'm keeping my options open. I've been on Depo before and had it stop completely. Beyond that there is ablation or a possible hysterectomy. Surgery will be a last resort. And in November I'm getting tested for carpal tunnel. That might explain some of the hand/arm pain.

Did I mention I'm being treated for tendonitis in my left wrist/ thumb? Hurt myself at work about 3 weeks ago and am on light duty for another two weeks yet. I'm in physical therapy and everything. I'm hoping this week at home will help out the hand too. I had been trying to do small stuff at work but the whole nearly passing out kind of killed that.

Anyways, I may be falling apart, but I'm falling forward at least. Hopefully by the new year I'll be on the mend and feeling a bit more human.

Good news? Bad news? I dunno

I've been to the doctor both yesterday and today. It's a bit mind numbing.

My PCP was good. He actually listened to me. Other than to say it had been a long time, he didn't yell at me. I'm getting lab work done next week. I go back in a month right after seeing a neurologist for some tests. He gave me a med to try. I'm hoping it helps with the headaches. I'm not expecting miracles or anything. I did wake up with a massive headache this morning so I'm hoping it isn't going to cause the opposite reaction in me like some meds. He is also having me tested for carpal tunnel later this year. In the meantime I'm to wear braces on both wrists when I'm in bed.

I went back to have my left hand checked today. I did not get good news. I'm to be on light duty for another two weeks and do physical therapy. HR is dragging their feet on determining where the physical therapy will happen. I gave her the news at 10am and I still have no clue what is going on. I'm to keep wearing the brace they gave me for the next two weeks too. That thing is hot on my hand and is stinky now because of it. I'll keep it on as much as I can though. When the doc manipulated my thumb today I wanted to curl up in a little ball because it hurt so bad. I had honestly thought I was going to be released back to regular duty today.

And once again, even though I mostly sat at the computer all day at work, I'm in enough pain to nearly cry. My legs and arms hurt really bad. I need to take a shower and take some pain meds but holy crap I don't have the energy to get up and move. My head is really starting to hurt again.

Oh and I tried a caramel frappuccino today. Still don't like coffee one bit. I suppose if it were really, really, really cold I could stomach it. But not for $2.50 a bottle. I can get a bottle of DOC360 for $1 (which I actually like) or a bottle of MT Dew for $1.25 (which I hate but can drink if really cold if I do it fast). I'm just trying to find something with a bunch of caffeine that isn't too horribly sugary that I can drink in the morning. I'm wondering if it might help the headaches and help me wake up. I can't do sugary in the morning or I get icky feeling and I get heartburn.

I totally missed getting Nick registered for school thanks to all the crap that has been going on lately. With having to fill in for my boss, my hand hurting and the headaches I just totally read the paperwork wrong. They are ok with us coming in next Friday to get his schedule and locker assignment. They move the kids every year to keep the same grades in the same hallway of lockers. I think I preferred my high school where you kept the same locker the entire time you went there. All the lockers were in one great big area under the classrooms. I never felt intimidated by the older students with lockers near me.

I'm planning on trying to sleep in tomorrow but we need to do the shopping tomorrow. We have a tax free weekend every year right before school starts. It's for kids clothes, shoes and school supplies. I know it's not saving a huge amount of money but every little bit helps. Breaking up my weekend is just going to mess with me. I really do not want to do a schedule change like I had to do this week again.

Oh well, I'm going to try and take my shower now and hit the sack early. If I'm asleep I can't feel how much my legs hurt.

Not ignoring the blog!

We broke all our sales records last month. Now it is time to make all the things. Mandatory overtime is mandatory. Tired Frod is super fucking tired.

Just one order that we are working on calls for almost two months worth of material. And it all has to be done like yesterday. And there is another massive order coming up behind it.

So to avoid getting sick again I've been trying to get more sleep. I usually get by on 4 1/2 to 5 hours a night during the week. I make up for it on Friday by sleeping in. I can't do that when we are working mandatory 10 hrs over. This leaves me with only two days off and I can't sleep all day Saturday and feel like I had time off.

It's not helping that I'm not 100% over being sick last month. My lungs never fully recovered. I'm out of breath a lot more than normal. And about twice a week I have to go across campus and up a huge flight of stairs to get to training sessions. I usually feel like dying by the time I get to the top of the stairs.

The new twist is that my stupid headaches are making me smell cigarette smoke when there is no smoke anywhere around. Shouldn't be a big deal except I'm allergic. My stupid body smells smoke and automatically tells itself to start coughing. Doesn't matter that the damn smoke isn't real. So my chest is hurting from coughing.

And this is the time of year that I hate the worst. The temp changes by 10 to 20 degrees during the day. Even if the thermostat is set at the same temp all day it's alternating between being sweltering in here or being freezing. I leave for work and I'm shivering but when I go to leave I'm sweating. This is not helping keep me healthy.

So yeah, I'm tired and ornery but nothing major is going on. Only cool thing is that I wrote a small drabble and published it on AO3 and it has actually gotten a positive response. I didn't even share it on Tumblr or anything. People are finding it and liking it. I've got another idea for a story and as soon as I'm able to stay awake long enough I'll write it up.

But right now I"m going to go read for a few before I go to bed.

I work with weirdos

Seriously, they are all weird. Two of them are plotting to get me a new position in the company. One that doesn't even exist. They didn't ask my opinion. They just started campaigning with our boss.

Basically they are trying to get me to be an inside material handler for our department. All our raw materials are stored outside. We have to call the head material handler for outside when we want something. He then calls one of the guys on the forktrucks to bring the stuff to the door. It can take quite a while to get materials. Sometimes this leads to my coworkers struggling to keep busy while waiting because they didn't plan far enough ahead for what they would need. They want me to plan out what will be run and do all the material requests and keep things flowing. Well, the planning part is really my boss's job. So is calling in the big stuff that we will need. Usually it's the interim stuff that the guys end up waiting for because the big stuff is already done. I should mention that most of the guys hate calling in materials.

I already do more than what my actual job is. My job is supposed to just be cutting and running materials. Sign in, do my job, make labels and put shit away. Somehow I'm also in charge of making outside labels for half the crew. Not to mention being the one everyone goes to when they can't find something or don't know where to put something when they are done with it. Half the guys don't know how to look at their time cards or how to put in a vacation request. So I act the part of secretary. My boss is constantly handing me slips of paper with part numbers on them and asking me to look into "that". This means figuring out what we have on hand against what the system says we have and figuring out why they don't match. And in my little corner of the building, I keep an eye on inventory and request jobs to fill empty racks.  Not to mention that my boss tends to ask me to send emails for him or write up papers and stuff for him.When we transitioned to our new system last year, I spent months working on inventory and helping with paperwork in the office. I spent months not doing anything to do with my regular job and spending my time helping keep the system cleared up and inventory straight. Oh and when the boss is gone, I do his job. The only thing I don't normally do is approve timecards, although I do know how to do it.

Part of me wants to transition to more of a support position. One where I'm doing mostly paperwork and stuff and not actually lifting material. I kind of got used to it last year. The other part is not super happy about the weight I gained from sitting on my ass for 7 months. heh I'm having more health issues lately and my pain levels are not good. The idea of not straining myself is a good one. Not that my job is all that horribly physically demanding. Just the whole being on my feet for 10 hours and repeatedly lifting shit and moving it around. I'm having more trouble with my stupid ankle lately. I am so not hip to the whole being able to feel the damn thing more than usual. You would think that 20 plus years would be too long for nerve damage to start reversing.

Mostly I'm just fucking tired all the time. And my head hurts. I probably need to have my eyes checked. I'm sure that has something to do with it.

Not sure what the hell the point of this rant was.

My life is boring

Yup, nothing interesting going on here at all. I am seriously lacking in the excitement department. lol

Nick is doing well on his medication and has been released to his normal primary care doctor. He has had a bit of an attitude lately but frankly it's fairly normal for a nearly 12 year old to act this way in my opinion. Momma just has to knock him down a few pegs is all. He was all hopped up from karate class on Thursday and thought he was all bad ass and could try and intimidate me. He only tried to seriously hit me once but managed to hit my hand and not my stomach. It ended with him running away and locking himself in the bathroom for his shower. Ehhh that sounds worse than what it really was. It wasn't like anyone was angry. He was trying to act all big and powerful. He forgets that I am double his size even if I am only about 7 inches taller than he is. He is just used to bigger kids picking on him and wanted to be dominant for once and Momma put him in his place. He don't like getting flicked in the forehead. lmao

Work has actually been full of drama lately. The guy that has been acting supervisor since last August (man I can't believe it's been that long already) is really burning out. He stresses out over the least little things and has been short tempered. He is real good friends with one of the other guys that has been working with us for the last few months but things blew up on Saturday. The friend, we shall call him CJ, can be super mouthy with supervisor guy. I think he has real trouble taking orders from his friend. After last break, SG was telling CJ that he had to re-stack a pallet because the parts could not hang over the pallet and they had to be even. CJ kept poo-pooing SG and telling him it wasn't a problem. SG finally got sick of it and told CJ to go home. CJ just calmly walked off the job. It should be noted that on Friday CJ gave notice that ht wouldn't be able to work full time any more and would be going to flex after this last weekend. So, we have no clue if he was still considered full time when he walked off which would mean he would be fired or if he was flex which means he can come and go as he pleases.

SG should be calming down after this weekend though. Our "real" supervisor is finally coming back. She has been off since like the middle of August because her two youngest sons were involved in a house explosion. They were in the hospital in Iowa City until right before Christmas and then were in rehab down in Waterloo for a couple more months. They are both doing well now but are still facing a lot of surgery on their hands to try and getting them more flexible. In order for the burns to heal their hands were bandaged up for months. When the bandages finally came off their fingers were partially webbed together and atrophied badly. They have had surgery to separate their fingers but some of them were left smaller and some left quite large. They are still in for a long road of surgery and will never be quite the same again.

Now we are just waiting to see how well SG gives up control to Red (the real boss). SG can be very controlling but he does actually do a good job of getting management to do things that Red was never successful at. Plus a lot of things have changed since Red has been off. We have a new high tech saw that Red will have to be trained on. Plus we have a lot of new paperwork. None of it is real hard but it will be all new for her and she can get set in her ways of doing things.

Ehh like I said, nothing super exciting. My health is still pretty shit. I've been super tired lately. And now I have a bit of a sinus infection I think. It's not bad enough that I'm crampy as all hell, I have to be sick on top of it. sigh And I need to dye my hair tomorrow. I dyed it last week and let's just say, I look like a Weasley cousin right now. lol It's not bright red but more of a lightish orange. I was going for dark blond. I guess the dye was too old or something. I've got another box that I know isn't that old.

OK, enough blather, I have to go get the kid from school in a minute.

I'm alive!

Just barely. Well ok, it's not that bad. I'm pretty damn sore though.

The limbs are a little rubbery. I woke up last night at about 1:30 and decided to head to the potty. All was fine when I sat up and put my right foot on the floor. All was fine when I swung my left foot onto the floor. The trouble came when I tried to stand up. My left leg was having none of that. No way was it going to hold my big ole butt up. Thankfully, I still had my right hand on the bed when I went to stand up. So I didn't fall. Just came damn close. Once I got my balance, the leg got with the program and I was able to walk to the potty. But for half a second there I was going, "WTF???"

Another thing that is pretty sore is the left arm. Went to pull my right leg up on my chair and used my left hand cause well the legs are a lil tired. Well, let me tell you, the cry of outrage that came out of my arm was none too friendly. I think lifting all that pipe yesterday made my arm think it was going to get a vacation today. hehe

I'm just a big ole pile of whiny bones and muscles today. I think about the only part of me that isn't in pain is the nose. And that lil booger is itchy right now. lmao I suppose that if I had gone in to work this morning, my body would have loosened up and stopped aching so much. But, it's my day off and I slept in. Didn't get up until 10 til 6. Felt like heaven. lol I swear that sounds so sick that sleeping in means gettin up near 6am. I have to be up at 4:30 on weekends so that I'm presentable for work. I do NOT wake up quickly or gently.

Ok enough of the work related whining. I really do like my job. The days are long and I average only 3 hours of awake time after work, if I'm lucky, but it isn't really that horribly dirty or hard. It's not real taxing on the brain. I won't go in to detail about what I do, but I work with pipe all day. I bend it. I drill it. Some of it is quite thin and some looks as thick as a leg. Some is quite long and some are relatively short. It's a very laid back work place. In the area I work in, on the weekends, there are only 4 of us. There are usually 4 other people on the other side of the building, but we rarely see them. Fridays have a bit more activity as there are people that work more of a normal 5 day work week that overlaps our 3 day weekend.

On the knitting front: no progress.

Ok, I did just knit 4 rows of clue 3 on the mystery stole. I'm having a bit of trouble concentrating on it. Plus, the needles are so damn small that it feels weird. I got used to large diameter pipes and here I'm knitting on size 3 circs. Can we say toothpicks? lol I did do some knitting on another project that is on either size 5 or 6 needles and the yarn is way the hell thicker than the stole yarn. But I only did maybe 10 rows on that.

I've signed up for Renee's next mystery shawl. How could I not?? I even ordered myself some JaggerSpun Zephyr for this one. I went searching for the best price and OMG can we say surprising?? (It's a vocabulary building day here at the house of Frod. :OP) I saw a couple places that were charging $60 for a one pound cone. UMMMMMMMM Not ready to spend that much on yarn right now. I have paid a good price for yarn before but daaaaaaamnnnn. I had already heard about Sarahsyarns.com before though. Probably through the mystery shawl group. Anyways, I picked up a cone of Zephyr in Apricot. I had been leaning towards the Lady Slipper, but when I finally went to order it, the color was no longer in the drop down menu. Guess someone else ordered it before I got up the nerve. And hey, how can you pass it up when she only charges $37 for one pound. Yeah, over $20 cheaper than some places. If I like this stuff as much as others seem to, I'll be buying all my Zephyer from her. I'm sure after I've been working a while, I'll be checking out the rest of her store.

I've finally given up on my Addi supplier. He obviously has dropped off the face of the earth. Frankly only a severe illness or death in the family can explain his total lack of contact with anyone. I emailed him over 2 weeks ago, I believe, letting him know that it had been a month since I had paid for the 2 sets of circs that I needed for the last KAL and I still hadn't received them. No response. So, I left bad feedback for him last week and opened a dispute on PayPal. After a week, still no response. So I filed a claim. I have bought from this guy for over a year. I have never had any problems with him. Well ok, last time he had to send a replacement because my needles didn't come. But it only took another week to get the needles all the way from Hong Kong. He has the best prices out there for Addis on eBay, but the last 13 feedbacks have all said that they didn't get their needles and he won't respond to emails. He seems to have dropped out of sight in the middle of June.

Looks like I'll be switching over to KnitPicks needles from now on. That is what I'm using on the mystery stole. They are quite nice. I did get one pair of cables and 2 pairs of tips. So far so good. I just love the flexible cables. Very comparable to Addi Turbos. Ya can't beat the price either. It's much easier for me to pay $6 or so for tips than pay $18 for one needle.

Oh well, I'm gonna go see what the kid is doing. There are some nasty storms heading through eastern Iowa, so I gotta keep an eye on the weather too. Supposed to rain all week and stay in the 80s. Oh Joy!! I'll post pics of the stole when I get clue 3 done. And I'll re give the specs on the yarn since someone asked about it. Otherwise, just go to YarnTreehouse.com and look for Bloom.

BTW go listen to some Flyleaf so you can have the same song going through your head as I do. lmao

Things are going well

I had my second interview today. It went really well. This one was with another lady that I believe is the supervisor in the warehouse. She was real nice and I felt much more at ease with her. I think that people in "office" attire just make me nervous. Anyways, she moved me along to the next step. I filled out the paperwork for the background and credit checks. And I went and had a drug test done. My dad said that if they went through the expense of doing that then I'm definitely going to be hired.

I have to admit that the whole credit check thing has always made me very nervous. I don't like the idea that because I pay my bills late or I "owe" some asshole doctor a bunch of money that I already paid that it could cost me a job. I did default on a school loan years ago, but when the school took me to court, I won. It was because the new school I was going to messed up my paperwork and the government didn't realize I was back in school before the 6 months was up. I do owe a satellite company $75. I will pay them when I decide they deserve it because it pissed me off that they turned my service off and charged me for it when they didn't even try to take that months bill out of my account as was set up. No clue why they did it but I'm not paying it until I get a steady job and that $75 isn't going to hurt my bottom line. Not going to hurt my credit any more that it already is hurt. LOL

My bills do get paid. Eventually. I haven't ever had my electric or gas shut off. It haven't had my phone shut off since before my son was born. Probably a couple years before that. Well ok, my cell phone was shut off just recently, but it wasn't because I have a bill. The phone got shut off cause I forgot to put more air time on it. No outstanding bill. The satellite dish got turned off about 4 or 5 years ago. I haven't had one since. I won't get another one until I've had a job for at least 6 months. It's not the sort of expense that I really need. I have tons of dvds and vhs tapes of great movies that I love to watch. And the antennae picks up NBC and ABC perfectly and CBS comes in well enough that I can at least listen to the shows. I don't much actually look at the tv as I do listen to it.

I do have outstanding student loans right now. If I had had regular work at the beginning of this year, they would have been paid off in full when I got my taxes back. But I have barely worked at all this year. I've had to live off of that tax return. If/when I get this job, I'll pay off the smaller load in full right away. I'll have to make payments on the larger one. And they aren't that big of loans anyway. It is less than $2,000. Not like some people that have over $100,000 in school loans. That to me is just total bullshit.

I'm of the sort that thinks our country needs to take a real hard look at what other countries are doing. There are countries in Europe that have free health care and free education for all of it's citizens. Yes, they pay higher taxes in order to pay for these programs. I don't see the problem in that. I affords the right to basic human needs to every citizen.

If I had had the money to actually finish school the first time I went, I would be in a much better situation financially. Yes dear readers (all 2 of you) I have gone to school before. Right after high school, I worked full time for 6 months to save for school. I went off to Chicago and went to a business school. I couldn't find a job that had hours that I could work that paid enough to foot my bills while I was there. My folks wanted total control of what I was doing and I was too far away for their comfort, so I came back home after a couple months. That was the school that took me to court. Within a month or so after coming back to Iowa, I went to the local community college for two semesters. When it came time to go the next semester, I was told to get my own loan for school as my dad wasn't going to give me another dime. Yeah, um, nice thing to find out the day it was due to be paid. So, it was 10 years before I was able to go back to school. I'm one class shy of a degree in Internet Administration. Unfortunately I don't understand marketing. If once I start working I can get enough money saved up, I would love to try and take that class again. This time with a tutor that can explain shit to me.

But anyways, the interview went well. It looks like I might have the job. Won't find out till next week after the drug test comes back. I have never been a drug user, so I should be find. Well unless it picks up the paxil I took last week. lol I was sick and hormonal all at the same time and breaking down in tears over the dumbest shit. So, I took some low dose samples. It was just enough to take off the edge. I didn't even take all 7 pills that I had. I do think that once I have insurance again, I'll go back to my doctor and see about getting on some sort of medication again. Not the Paxil or Effexor though. They both make me tired and I do NOT need help in getting tired. lmao ( write this as I'm tired enough to take a snooze but it's way too early to think about going to bed )

Just cross your fingers for me and send some good mojo that this all works out. I miss being able to go nuts on eBay. hehehe