Tuesday, October 04, 2016

weird dreams

I know I've mentioned on here that I tend to have very vivid and weird dreams. I always have. Sometimes they can be so real that it takes me quite a while to realize I'm dreaming.

I want to talk a bit about one of those types of dreams. I call them "false waking" dreams. I tend to have them a lot. Basically in the dream I'm convinced that I'm waking up. It might take a few minutes to realize that something is off so I must still be sleeping. Almost always it's followed by yet another false waking dream.

Most of the time these dreams have something to do with someone being in my house that shouldn't be. Normally it's one, or both, of my parents. My dad isn't allowed in my house and my mother knows not to just barge in. She always calls before she comes over to give me fair warning.

A lot of times the way I'm alerted to the dream not being real by the fact that the layout of my house is off somehow. Sometimes I've combined two different houses that I've lived in. Sometimes it's just that all my stuff is either moved about or boxed up. Sometimes what clues me in is that there is some sort of weird catastrophic damage to the house.

One early clue that I try to catch is that I have a lot of difficulty getting up out of bed or just moving my blankets. It's very close to one of the paralyzed dreams that I have. It's like it's taking some sort of almost superhuman strength to move. Now I do suffer from severe fatigue much of the time. It can be kind of hard to move in the mornings and I can also be kind of confused when I first wake up. So sometimes this clue slips by because it's not too far out of reality. It's just kind of multiplied.

Well, I had a series of these dreams this morning. One I figured out pretty quickly but the other went on almost twice as long before I realized it wasn't real.

The first one was pretty short. Everything was very dark which right off the bat was wrong for what time I knew it to be. I didn't hear my phone ring but for some reason I could hear someone leaving a message on my cell phone. Yeah big red flag there. Plus the message was an almost copy of a message I got a few months ago on my house phone. Dude had the wrong number to begin with so there isn't much chance he was going to get my cell number too. So I do the big struggle to get out of bed and get my phone. By the time I'm able to get out of bed the message is over so I decide to get on the computer and check messages. Only my computer is on the floor and I suddenly have plush carpet instead of the almost industrial crap I have. Now, most people say they can't read in dreams. I don't know if they mean that the words are all misspelled or if they are just jumbled. For me, everything is just jumbled. I could read the individual words on the screen but they didn't make sense. Well, anyway, in the dream I'm laying on the floor, still having difficulty moving, and trying to read my screen which was rolling and flickering. This is nothing like how my computer really is. That was pretty much the clincher for me as to this having to be a dream.

And thus ended the first dream. I remember kind of rolling over and hearing the tv on in the living room so I knew it was still before 7 when my alarm was to go off. I drifted off again and almost immediately had another false waking dream.

This time I struggled up out of bed because I wanted to talk to my son before he left for school. I could hear my son in the living room and I went out to speak to him. Only when I went into the living room, most of the furniture was kind of moved about and there were puzzle pieces all over the floor. What made the puzzle pieces weird was that they were all a flat blue/gray. Kind of like the backs of some nicer puzzles I've done. But both sides of the pieces were blank and they were scattered in small piles that made no sense. At this point I realized my son had moved into the kitchen/hallway area so I followed. But as I moved out of the living room area it was immediately clear the kitchen was totally void of anything but bits of broken drywall. My son and a shirtless man I had never seen were taking garbage cans full of this debri outside where it was still very dark. Now right away this should have said to me "nope it's a dream" because the room was huge to begin with. Then all the cabinets and appliances were gone. All this debri on the floor was from a hole in the roof and the guy kept poking at the one wall where the drywall was just falling to pieces. All this debri was also the color of the puzzle pieces. I kept begging him to stop messing with the wall and I would call maintenance to come fix everything. It took another couple minutes of them moving stuff for me to realize I was actually dreaming.

This was actually enough to really wake me up. Whereupon I realized the light and tv were off in the living room. That meant that the kid had already left for school but my alarm hadn't gone off. Not real great when I was getting up early for a doctor's appointment. The butt had gone outside early for some reason and about two minutes later my phone went off. So here I am struggling to wake up and feeling weak and the kid comes back in and says he is not feeling well. I was totally out of it and told him I didn't care and to get his butt on the bus. lol He was fine btw. It was another half hour before I was really feeling awake and with it.

Usually the catalyst for these types of dreams is my being able to hear the tv when I'm only half asleep. I sometimes nap with my tv on when I don't want to end p taking a really long nap. I just tend to get annoyed with being woke up by the tv and just get out of bed. Since I've been off work, Nick wakes me up in the morning by turning the tv on but I try to go back to sleep because the weirdo keeps waking up at 5:30 and that is too damn early to get up when you have no plans.

I'm just really grateful that these dreams usually aren't scary. It's the ones where I'm dreaming that I'm waking up but I'm paralyzed that get scary. I know I've talked about those before and I'm just too damned tired to go find the post right now.

I'm sure no one made it past the second paragraph. It's not that interesting of a subject. I really just wanted to get it written down somewhere.

And now I really should go to bed and hope I don't have any weird ass dreams in the morning.