Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hauler, Tony Stewart's belt size just wasn't getting smaller.
The season had ended, the champion crowned, and the last lap at Homestead left not a frown.
Carl Edwards was resting in Amanda Beard's bed, while visions of back flips popped in his head.
Mike Helton was sleeping and so was Brian France. With all these rules changing, they'd better put a cup in their pants!
When out on the track I heard an engine start, so I sprang from the garage to see Kurt Busch depart.
Away from the track he drove in a flash, with a Maricopa County Sheriff hot on his, um, butt.
The moon shone bright on the newly re-paved track, and it looked like Kurt might never be back.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a black and red sleigh, not powered by reindeer!
An unknown driver appeared with a swagger, and in the light I could see, it was The Intimidator!
More than that he stepped onto pit lane, and proceeded to call out other drivers by name.
"Now Rusty, now Terry, now Ricky and Mark, listen to what I have to say in the dark!"
"To the front of the field then on to Victory Lane, you guys are all legends, the sport won't be the same!"
Dale's message was clear as he hopped in his sleigh, and flew off to heaven, as night turned to day.
Before he left, to the retired he'd shout, "Win one for me, before you bow out!"