Thursday, May 12, 2016

People confuse me

I don't understand why so many people trust me. The people I work with put way too much trust in me. Sometimes it's kind of scary. Were I to be the type to take advantage of things, I could really screw some people over big time.

Both this supervisor and the last have trusted me with information that could technically have gotten them in trouble. It's a big no no to let anyone have your email password. Both gave me theirs. Both trusted me to write emails on their behalf using their accounts. And during the two weeks between supervisors, the next higher up trusted me to actually run the department earning me my own company email address. They don't give those out to just anyone because they have to pay a fee for each address.

With the current supervisor, I'm trusted not only with his email but I've got his other passwords for other programs we use. Hell, he has trusted me to approve time cards for my fellow employees and even my own time card. Granted, I'm not real sure how to fake them in order to screw the company out of money or screw my coworkers out of hours but still. I could still really screw some shit up in the other programs if I wanted to. And all of it would have his name attached and not my own.

Heck, the woman that creates all our jobs trusted me with her password to our main database. When we switched systems, I helped her with inventory and with running through jobs. The first time I actually deleted a job while no one was in the office I got a little scared. It would be super easy for someone to really screw up the system. And I have that power if I wanted to use it.

I know half the crews passwords for putting in for time off. Most of them are scared of computers and can barely type. Granted about the only thing I can really do with those passwords is to put them all in for random days off work. But then I could sign in as my supervisor and approve that time off without anyone being aware of it.

And today one of the ladies in the IT department shared a very important password for the printers with me. While I might not be able to cause physical damage to the printers, I now have the ability to really fuck up settings that only IT can fix.Hell, I know how to sign into a printer remotely and mess stuff up so I don't even have to do it while at work.

Not that I would ever deliberately mess up any of the systems at work. Even if they were to screw me over big time, I just don't have it in my to sabotage anything. The fear of being a bad person it way too strong. You can blame the principal at the school I went to in 2nd and 3rd grade for that.

I spent my whole childhood moving from school to school. Not anywhere near as bad as the poor Winchester boys, but I did manage to go to ten schools before I graduated from high school. This particular school was the only one where I got into any serious problems. I was always a very shy kid. I didn't really see the point of trying to make friends when I knew we were probably going to move soon anyway. So I just kept to myself.

Unfortunately this made me a target in the eyes of some of the teachers and the principal. The shit initially hit the fan because I woke up late one morning and didn't have time to eat before I had to leave for school. I only had to walk about 6 blocks. So my mom gave me a package of poptarts and sent me off to school. I still hadn't finished the second one when I got to school and I had the wrapper still. When one of the teachers saw that, she decided that I must be the kid that had been stealing the other kids lunches. It had to be me because I was bigger than my classmates and obviously I was strong arming them for their lunches. I wasn't fat or anything, I was just taller earlier than most of the kids.

So, I got in big trouble for the whole food stealing thing even though my mom told them she had given me the poptarts. They didn't care. A couple weeks later they found an old reel to reel tape in my locker. Obviously I had stolen it from the library. Who knows what else I had stolen from the school. It didn't matter that I told them that I found it on the playground. I just thought it made a cool streamer and I wanted to play with it at the next recess and put it in my locker so it wouldn't blow away. Nope, I was a thief and they were determined to kick me out for it. I guess they only wanted to allow for two strikes.

Turns out I didn't get kicked out. Right about this time one of my grandmothers died. My folks decided that my grandfather couldn't possibly live on his own and they decided that, once again, we would be moving. This time we would move in and take care of my poor old grandpa. We lived with him for four years before my parents realized that a man in his mid 50s was perfectly able to take care of himself. heh Both my parents are now in their 60s and would balk at the idea that they needed to be taken care of.

But anyway, this whole thing with the school has led me to have a lifelong fear that anyone might think I'm a thief. Even a hint of any wrong doing on my part scares the shit out of me. I never even had the usual youthful shoplifting incident.

Oh, I've done things that could have resulted in me being arrested for stupid shit. I was always pretty careful to not get caught. I should note that none of the things I may or may not have done would have resulted in an actual prison sentence. Stealing was never an option though.

I still don't get why people trust me as an adult but no one would trust me as a kid.  I never quite got the lure of breaking the rules. I just wanted to get along and stay under the radar. The less attention I got the better.

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