grrrr arggg

I am so exhausted.

I'm not talking about tired.

I'm talking about my limbs are so fucking weak with it. Especially my arms.

I can barely breath with this. I'm not out of breath from doing anything. I just feel like I can't get any air. The effort of breathing is somehow too much.

My head isn't buzzy. It's like something is trying to drag my brain out of the bottom of my skull. It's like the effort of thinking is sucking my brain our of me.

And yet..

I've been off work all except like 4 hours on Monday. I've left the house a grand total of two times since Monday. Ok, I take that back. I drove to the gas station up a half block away twice. I didn't have cash for Nick to go for me and I still haven't gotten him his own ATM card.

I've been out of the house a total of maybe 3 hours.

90% of the time I've either been sitting in my chair reading online or in bed sleeping.

The only thing I've done as far as housework was defrosting the fridge. This only entailed having Nick bring in the coolers. One day I went and got ice and emptied the savable food from the fridge section after getting ice from the gas station. The next day I emptied the freezer. This was after making sure I had like 8 or 9 frozen water bottles instead of buying ice. Less of a mess that way.

And then today I went and got groceries for the week. I put them away and emptied the coolers now that I'm sure the fridge is staying cold.

We get ice in the back of the freezer and none of the cold air will go into the fridge. It's not a self defrosting freezer. This means I usually end up losing a bunch of cheese and breads when I don't realize the fridge isn't keeping things cold.

So really, there is no reason for the exhaustion. I've been a lazy ass for a week. I'm taking my meds. I'm trying to not eat quite so much junk. Hard to do with the fridge being on the blink but still.

But I still feel like warmed over shit. The headaches are just as bad. I will say my legs haven't hurt as much lately. But then again I've been sitting mostly. My arms and hands still hurt like mad. Right now from my elbows to my shoulders just aches so bad.

The only obvious change from taking the meds is the damn green poop. I haven't had much trouble from the IBS in the last couple months thanks to extra fiber. But now, thanks to the damn iron pills, I've actually been slightly constipated.

I wouldn't mind if it meant I felt better. But I don't.