pain

I'm having a very bad pain day.

It actually started yesterday while I was at the park. I sat wrong at the picnic table. My foot was behind my knee instead of under it. By the time I went to move my leg forward, I couldn't. I had to pick my leg up using my hands and then manually move my foot forward. It hurt like a sum'bitch.

I've done this before with my knee. It's not something I think about consciously but I think I need to start. The last time I did it, I had to have the kid move my leg for me. He does it faster because he can't feel how much it hurts.

I didn't sleep for shit last night. I was awake every 2 hours and in the bathroom. I hate the first 2 days of my period. I'm subconsciously terrified that I'll make a mess of my bed, so I don't sleep. I ended up staying up for a bit at 5am. I was too damn tired and ended up laying down again. Lots of really weird dreams about my parents. It always happens after I see a family member.

So, I didn't get out of bed until noon. Kind of ruins the day. All of my joints are screaming at me. And I'm trying to find the energy to go get groceries. I should have bought them yesterday but I was just ready to be home. Between the park and visiting one grocery store, I was done. I didn't buy all the groceries there because they are expensive compared to where I normally shop. They were running a good sale on a couple things I needed though.

My arms and hands are just aching like crazy today. Every little movement of my hands hurts. So why am I typing then? Because it doesn't matter if I'm typing or just flexing my hands. It all hurts the same and it only gets worse if I try not to move them.

Time to put the clothes in the dryer. Can't go shopping until the bras are dry.