Thursday, March 03, 2016

...

Depression sucks and when you add pms on top of it, it's just a million times worse. Everything is just a big mess of fucked up. Today was actually a goodish day at work. I got to play supervisor even if it was for a sucky reason. My pain meds even actually worked today. I was in a lot of pain for the first couple hours but the pain meds took effect pretty quick and I was pain free for the rest of the day. This isn't the norm for me so it was a pleasant surprise.

I think one of my coworkers might be loosing it a little bit. He is in his late 50s but his grasp on what is ok to say to someone is failing him. I actually kicked him in the shin for one of his comments today. I know he was only kidding but in the moment I was just totally shocked. I even told him later why what he said was not a good thing but I still don't think he really got it. He is old school and not super sensitive to other people's feelings.  A really nice chat with one of the really old guys on 2nd shift made up for it. This guy has to be pushing 80 and tends to ramble if you get him started. It was cool listening to his stories of being in the army and stationed near Chicago.

Nothing out of the ordinary is going on at home. Nick was a bit worried that I took so long to get home tonight. That was more to do with the envelope from LootCrate though. I switched from monthly payments to paying every three months because they were giving out Deadpool cufflinks as a perk for upgrading. I'm a sucker for Deadpool.

I'm just really disappointed in someone I've known for years. We aren't close but I thought they at least kind of liked me. I made a friendly gesture a few days ago and it's been total radio silence. And it's not because they haven't been around. I'm just not worth the effort of a response I guess. This is the sort of thing that is the reason I keep most people at arms length. I tend to see too much where there isn't any real substance. And when I"m confronted with the fact that I was kidding myself all along it kind of stings.

Someday I will learn. Some day it won't hurt so much.

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