Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Mini Rant

I hate giving up on people. I know I put up with way too much shit from people because I'm always way too desperate to make everyone happy. But every once in awhile I just have to give up on someone. And it kills me.

Most of the time I post stalk them for awhile. Depending on who they are and why I walked away, it could be just me wondering if they miss me at all. Sometimes it's just to see if they are still acting the fool and proving I was right to walk away.

Shit, I walked away from a painful situation for about a year. Only one person noticed. I'm talking about totally cutting myself off from almost everyone I know. And only one person cared and it took months before they said anything. And then no one noticed when I came back. Talk about painful. I really had to rethink the whole concept of relying on anyone. I'm trying very hard lately not to rely on anyone for any kind of emotional support. I very rarely get back what I expect from anyone.

Oh and on the walking away front. I've been no contact with my dad since the beginning of June 2015. Talk about peaceful. I'm very low contact with my mom. Most contact is done through FB messenger. Nick very rarely sees either of them. He never asks to see them and I'm not going to push him.

On FB, at least, I'm finding it easier and easier to get rid of people that don't make me happy. I started out just unfollowing people but now I just unfriend people that irritate me. On other sites it's harder. I find it very hard to unfollow someone on Tumblr. I had to get rid of someone toxic the other day though. I feel guilty about it a little because I know he is depressed and he has issues. But damn he could be very annoying and down right rude to anyone he didn't agree with. I tried to ignore the whole thing because none of it had anything to do with me. I can't tell him or anyone else in that situation how to feel about it or how to deal with it. But the rude bickering about who was more right and who got to decide anything was just so fucking annoying. But now that he isn't in my feed it feels weird.

I unfollowed a whole bunch of people on twitter recently. I stopped watching Y&R a couple years ago. They fired my favorite actors and added a whole bunch of new people and I just lost interest. So most of the Y&R folks I followed went bye bye. Most of the people I followed from Game of Thrones got cut too. I've only seen the first two seasons and I'm not likely to ever get HBO so there is no real reason to follow any of them.  I'm mostly down to music people and people connected to Supernatural. I still follow way too many damn people on there.

Yeah, anyway, I'm just kinda grumpy right now. I reached out to someone about something and totally got ignored on it. It got me thinking about the whole walking away from people that don't make me happy. Lord knows I've seen enough people walk away from me lately.

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