Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I love my mother

But I do not like her.

The more time I spend with her, the more I want to run away and hide. Today was only the 3rd day that we worked together. We only actually are there at the same time for about 3 and a half hours each day. Within a half hour of getting to work today she had me in tears and near to having a breakdown. I even threatened to just leave.

My son has behavior issues. He whines when he doesn't think he can do something or he isn't allowed to do what he wants. He can have a meltdown about the simplest thing. He got in trouble at school again yesterday. I thought I had dealt with the problem appropriately. I gave him a time out when he got home. Then before the tv came on he had to do his homework. Then he was allowed to watch his PBS cartoons.

Today my mom kept coming back in the wash room saying stuff about how she doesn't know what the school is going to do about him. If he doesn't start behaving they are going to send him back to first grade. If he doesn't behave they are going to ship him off to the other school where they have extra help for kids with problems. I kept telling her I didn't know what to do with him. And she kept on about how he is going to get kicked out of school.

The kid has been back in school for about a week and a half. Most days he has had one incident of whining. He isn't violent. He just whines. And my mom's solution is to go immediately to the worst case scenario. I kept telling her to just stop. Then she yelled at me cause I raised my voice. But she wouldn't freakin stop yapping about him getting expelled. I begged her to just stop. So she starts in with fine, I won't talk to you. And she keeps going. By this time I was nearly hysterical telling her to just stop.

Finally our boss came in and told her to not do this here at work. And she finally left. I cried for about 20 minutes while I did dishes. Our boss came in and said she talked to my mom and told her just not to discuss it at work. I apologized to her and said that Mom just doesn't know how to stop when she knows I'm getting upset.

So for the rest of the day Mom wouldn't talk to me. Heck she would barely look at me. So now she is pissed off at me because she got yelled at. And all she had to do was drop the damn discussion when I first asked her to. But it's my fault.

We didn't even make it 3 days without fighting.


Snickerdoodle said...

Hey, how long do you think it would take me to drive to Iowa? I think we could both use a few shots of Southern Comfort. I have a somewhat difficult relationship with my mother also. I have learned over the years to ignore her when she starts that shit. It's hard at first, because your natural instinct is to respond to her. And of course, no matter what our children are like, problems or not, we are fiersely (sp) protective of them. But believe me, when she doesn't get a rise out of you (because you are ignoring her) she'll stop. Bite your tongue, walk away, stick your fingers in your ears and say, "la, la, la, la"....whatever it takes. And don't worry about it, your doing just fine with your son. I think you handled it appropriately. Smile and have a shot with me!

Diane said...

I ignore every negative comment my mom makes. She seems to have unkind words about every family member but somehow all her friends are great and wonderful.

I use to try to make comments to try to make her positive about things but she'd continue to be negative. It's her choice to throw out hurtful comments but it's my choice not to buy into them anymore.

Makes my life much easier and believe it or not the comments stopped for the most part because I wasn't arguing.

Mrs. H (aka The Outlaw Jenny Purls) said...

*HUGS* I've been there. It sucks.