Monday, September 03, 2007

tired

My body is tired. My brain is tired.

I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I've had lots going through this ole brain of mine. I feel like I'm at some sort of crossroads. I keep wondering what the hell I've been doing and where the hell am I going.

I'm feeling pulled in a couple directions. There are things that I really want to do but am unable to do for one reason or another. Sometimes I can almost see where it is I want to be going and then a roadblock pops up. My life has always seemed like one big roadblock after another.

I think a lot of my current mood started the day I had my lil conniption fit. I just feel this hole in my life. I can't quite fill that hole. I'm not really sure how to do it.

I'm seriously lacking in self discipline and motivation right now. I need to get my butt in gear and get a few things in my life straightened out. Part of me is afraid of having everything in order though. Hmmm could that be why my house is usually such a mess? lol

I'm a work in progress I guess.

Speaking of which, I have done about 10 rows on the latest mystery shawl from Renee at GodessKnits. She has released the final pattern and it is called Etain. And omg is the finished pattern so beautiful. And HUGE!!! I swear I will finish it. someday hehehehe I've also done about 6 or so rows on the mystery stole. It too will be finished eventually. I think I need to cut back on some groups I'm in. I have to realize that I just don't crochet much at all any more and there isn't much of a reason to belong to so many groups where I don't know anyone any more and I don't really follow too many of the conversations.

Ok, time for me to get ready for bed. I'm just pooped.

2 comments:

Zoebert said...

I stop by from time to time to check out the progress you've made on some of your projects(Mystery Shawl mostly). The thing about belonging to so many chat groups is you start seeing the some of the same names from list to list (I also am working on the Galveston Shawl), and you also see where the craft is going project- wise in the near future. I enjoy reading how your projects are going, and love the pictures too.
Thank you for sharing, and hope to see more projects. You do beautiful work.

loraine said...

I totally understand what you are saying about your house and your moods. Just know that you are not alone. :-)