Well, I don't know how much I'll be posting in the near future. I lost my job at the hardware store. For some reason my supervisor decided that I was too slow and wasn't trying. She never gave me a chance to do anything other than jobs that are detailed and take a long time to do. She was told by other people that the one job was very tedious, but I guess he just didn't want to listen. I guess I also trusted the wrong people to talk to at work too. I only complained to a couple people about how my supervisor wasn't giving me a chance to do any of the big jobs in the reorganization of the store. The store manager brought it up. He wouldn't even listen to any of my explanations.
Anyways, suffice it to say I can feel myself slipping into depression here. It always seems that just when things are looking up and I might get a little ahead, my life blows up in my face. I was forced into leaving the job I held for 9 years one month before paying off my car and finally being able to put money away. Here I finally found a job I kinda liked that had benefits again and it is taken away. I'm just so sick of trying. There always seems to be someone there that decides they don't like me and does their level best to get rid of me. I guess the call from my ex was just life's way of warning me that the shit was about to hit the fan again.
Either tonight or tomorrow I'll get the power supply installed and post the pictures I've got waiting on the camera. I just have to wait until I can spend more than 5 minutes without bawling my head off. I just feel so lost right now and like such a failure. I don't think I'll ever get my life straightened around so my son can have a good upbringing. I'm to the point where I almost want to tell my parents to just raise him so I can just go curl up somewhere and hide. I just don't feel like I'm doing any favors for him by forcing him to put up with me. I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin his life like I've ruined mine.