Saturday, November 05, 2005

when it rains it pours

I got a message tonight from my stepmother asking me over for a Thanksgiving dinner at their place next weekend. I haven't spoken to my biological father in about 5 years unless you ount the 2 times he called. A couple years ago he called on Christmas Eve asking me out for a family get together. They ignored me for 18 years and when I finally made contact I really tried to get along with them. I really did. I asked them for a place to stay for a couple months to save for an apartment because I couldn't live where I was any more. I lived with someone that was beating the crap out of me. They told me no. I found out a few years later that they let my half brother's girlfriend move in with them because she was living in a bad situation. He wouldn't do for his blood but he let someone else move in. After that I said fuck it. I'm the oldest of his kids. The next oldest got married about 2 years ago. I wasn't invited. A year ago this same half brother had a baby. Again I read about it in the paper. I really want nothing to do with those 3. If the youngest of the kids wants to get together, that is fine. I adore them but I guess it upset them that I didn't visit my father in the hospital after his motercycle accident. I might have visited if I thought he was dying or something. The youngest is having a baby next spring. It would be nice to have something to do with a niece or nephew. The brother I grew up with doesn't have kids. Doubt he ever will. He and his lady are not the parent types. I have one fucked up family. No wonder I'm a total mess.

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